by Robert7 58 Replies latest jw friends
Oompa and I used to talk on the pohne, but we had lost touch over the years. We last spoke on the phone soon after he was released from the hospital following the motorcycle incident. I am shaken up by this, and truly sorry for everyone affected. Eric was a fun-loving, compassionate person.
Stacy, you were a wonderful, loyal, true friend to Eric who did everything in your power to help.
Shelby! Let it go! Good grief.
Sheesh.
Another long piece of "It's all about me!" verbal diarrhea accompanied by more "Pay attention to me!" links........and not one apology. Only excuses.
On another note... has anyone thought about donations for Suicide Prevention? A friend of mine offered nice words and said she was walking for Suicide Prevention and suddenly that seemed like a better way to go. Honestly, they can only get so many flowers.
I bet you guys could get a group donation to one of these organizations in his memory. Otherwise, here is my friends link for her Suicide Prevention Walk.
Just thought it was an idea to send love and actually hopefully help someone else in his circumstance.
I dont know if I'm doing this link right...
(((Stacey))) Thank you for sharing your remembrances of Oompa.
I'm also very familiar with bipolar disorder and I know how frustrating and scary it can be to try to desperately help someone who is seriously mentally ill. Once you think you've taken care of one scenario (hiding the knives), then it's on to the next thing and the next thing and the next thing.
Please, please, please don't think of yourself as a failure. It sounds like you were the best friend Eric had. Your memorial will be beautiful.
Dear Stacy, Paul and I wish you love and healing, and thank you for writing this thread.
You are correct that he would never hurt you like this. Bipolar illness is a terrible thing and difficult to treat even when the doctors are paying attention. Combined with Eric's sensitive nature and heartbreaking losses, it was insurmountable.
Having had serious episodes of depression in my past and in speaking with others who were suicidal, I can tell you that in the depressed person's overrun mind it is the logical thing to do and best for everyone. You believe your time has come. At that point there is no room for anything but the pain - what I am saying is that it is not anger or lashing out, or any of those kind of cliches about suicide.
It is so sad that there really is not much loved ones can do to stop this from happening. Eric was surrounded by the love and caring of you and others and that is what he did have in his heart. I believe he tried his best to stay. It was obvious how he loved his family and friends so much.
So very sorry for Eric's pain, and for the pain and loss you all have now. Chris (Mrs. Flip)
First, I am truly sorry for YOUR pain, dear Stacey (and I do mean peace to you!)... and I did my post before your heart-wrenching one. For that, I apologize and I will delete it.
Your servant my ass. Just because you say "Peace to you" does NOT nullify what you do, nither does 'YOUR servant' and it would have made Eric angry to hear that kind of lingo he tried to get away from and I speak for many saying its exhausting reading your gibberish.
I am truly sorry that I have contributed to your pain. Truly. I had no idea. I wasn't even speaking of you.
Do not address me as 'dear one' as I am not your friend and I want nothing that resemebles peace from you.
Okay. I hear you. The term isn't meant to be condescending, but just what I've learned from my Lord as how to view ALL: dear to him and so dear to me. That's it, that's all. I am sorry that you apparently read a "tone" into my words that truly is not there.
thats about all I have to say, and I never messaged you, and nor will I.
I truly never said you did, nor did I ever mean you. Ever (and I am confused as to why you might think I did). I meant others that I received... from others. I did not address you at ALL in my explanation - I received no such illwill or anything of the sort from you. Ever, that I am aware of. I've only had the greatest admiration FOR you... and all that you tried to do for... Oompa (sorry, I just think that it's time to call him by his true name, since he no longer needs to hide. Forgive me, please).
Look, I can see that pain all of this has caused you and I am TRULY sorry for any part I might have played in that. I did only try to explain because... again, I think there's be a HUGE misunderstanding. I can say, though, that I think I received less... ummmmm... animosity from others when I was a JW than I have since becoming an ex-one... and less from JWs than I ever did from some exJWs. Strange, that.
I do wish you peace, though, and under these circumstances will leave my wish out there...
A slave of Christ,
SA
I believe donation to a cause is a great way to go in lieu of flowers. IMHO.
Then I feel guilty for being slightly relieved that I dont have to constantly worry about who is watching him and where is he now.
---------
I understand completely and you have my absolute sympathy. You were a great friend, support and did the best you could.
I suffered the same way when a relative was suicidal for years and I was the person he called and much of what you said mirrors much of what I went through..same feelings, somewhat different actions. I was the last person he called and spoke to at 11:45 pm and then 15 minutes, at midnight he ended his life - by the time they put the fire out and were able to identify the remains, I was just sitting down to lunch. The minute I saw my brother walking toward me to give me the news, my gut told me it was bad. I recall thinking how relieved I was - and then feeling such guilt at feeling that way. In time, the guilt disappeared because there was nothing more I could have ever done to help him. I still think of him from time to time but I understand that his pain was so much bigger than him that it consumed him and I am only saddened that he was unable to find the strength to stay with us all. I am not sad for the life he lived, because he was who he was and I believe that our lives were always richer for having had him with us for as long as we did. Treasure the good memories and that will be the Oompa that stays in your heart - sammieswife
I'm glad you were there for him, Stacey. You're a good person.
Since you were brutally honest, I'll admit something about myself... I didn't allow myself to get too close to him, because of the instabilities that you mention. I am not DFd, I have immediate family still "in", and Eric had a way of contacting me at the oddest times, compromising my position here on this site and even outside of it. He bugged the crap out of me to go motorcycle riding together, but I knew I couldn't ride along someone who was on a self destructive path. Who knew what stunt he would pull at any particular second? I couldn't risk it.
I have to admit it....I was selfish. I couldv'e done more, if I had damn tried harder, but I didn't. Deep down, I know that I wouldn't have made a difference, but it hurts knowing that I didn't do more.
When I'm feeling better, I'll be more pragmatic about and say, 'you can't save someone who doesn't want to save themselves'. I've been there before, with family members. I met up with a fellow faded ex-JW who knew Eric last night and we had a couple of beers talking about him and we were in agreement... we feel bad, but there is a point where you can't let someone on a destructive path drag you down with them. It still doesn't cover over the feeling of, "what if I had done this or that..."
