So, as mentioned, a couple of really neat things have happened in the last week or so. I will talk about one then the other.
I can't remember if I mentioned it at the time, but when I sent my DA letter and message to my friends on Facebook, I only sent it to our Australia based friends. I figured that eventually word would seep through to NZ. Sure enough, over time the NZ 'friends' have quietly unfriended me too. Not one of bothered to check to see if it was true, or if i was okay - true to form for JWs where there is no such thing as unconditional love, just the icy cold compliance with the rules dictated by the OctoPope.
So the other day I made a post on my blog, and following my usual habit, posted a link to it on Facebook. In it I talked about how Mrs Smith and I had had a fantastic break over the holiday period, and enjoyed not having any pressure to knock on doors, keep up time, or go to meetings, and all the guilt trips that get heaped on you if you miss out on doing those things. I mentioned how it was now so nice to hang out with people who love us for who we are, not for our mutual compliance with the ever changing rules of the overlords.
The next morning my phone beeped with a new Facebook message, and the home screen showed the name of a JW person that I have been friends with since my teens. The first line of the message was showing on my phone screen and it said: "Hey Winston, I read your blog post...."
I thought 'Here goes another one. Probably tell me how much they love me but have to cut me off for my own benefit or something.'
Boy, was I wrong.
The message went thus: Hey Winston, I read your blog post, and I just want to say that I will always be your friend no matter what. We are always told to make time for friends, but with my young family, sometimes life is so busy. If you ever need someone to chat to that is uninvolved I'm only a message away. I'm not saying you need someone - but I'm available anyway.
I am still part of the faith, and take each day as it comes. I keep an open heart and attitude to all my friends and family - as I expect the same in return. You helped us through a really difficult time in the past, and I very positive memories of our times together. Always thinking of you guys, lots of love, Sister Cool.
So I replied to her and expressed how much her message meant to me after having been erased by my mother and sister. I said:
It was a tough decision to leave, it was a big part of my life. But after serving as an elder and seeing how it really works behind the scenes, and knowing how the Society's policies have lead to the abuse of children, and a whole bunch of other things, it got to the point where I just didn't want to do it any more.
There are some things that I just cannot agree on that the Society teaches. Like you, I respect what others believe, and will fight for their right to believe whatever they want. All I ask in return is the same consideration. Unfortunately Mum and my sister don't see it like that, and they have not talked to me for months. The bible says nothing about how to treat family members who leave, yet I have been cast off not only by them, but by all the Witness friends we had here. I understand that they are doing what they think is right, but I have been called some horrible things since making my decision and it is hard for me to see anything in their actions that Jesus would approve of. Love is supposed to cover a multitude of sins right?
I hope we can remain in touch, but understand if you feel like we can't be seen to be friends on FB. My email is always on, feel free to contact me at anytime. I'm always happy to talk about anything. While we may believe different things, we will always, as far as I am concerned, be friends.
Luv ya mate. Stay cool and look after those little munchkins.
I then got a reply that really warmed my heart: Mate! I don't give a rats arse if people see me as your friend on FB. And I will keep in touch.
It made my day to hear her say that. We have been chatting on and off since then as time allows. She has said some interesting things too, like how when her brother was DF'd she stood up for him and defended him against a lot of crap and lies people were saying about him. She still keeps in regular contact with him. She even said about shunning:
it's a reaction that doesn't come naturally, but people are convinced it is correct. U nderstanding and LOVE go a long way. Just like you said treat people with love.
So there it is. A pretty cool way to start the year off.
And if you think that was cool, wait 'til you hear the other thing that has happened...