Hi & greetings Winston; I have a similar background. Married during the 75 scare & divorced a few years ago. While getting jerked around by the JC committee, I got fed up & started looking for the truth. After reading Ray Franz' C of C, I knew this was just another manmade religion. I personally think we're a considerable way from any intervention from God. So, in the meantime, I congratulate you & your wife. As always... Live Well....Enjoy Life.
The New Diary of Winston Smith
by WinstonSmith 336 Replies latest jw experiences
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WinstonSmith
@Ray Publisher: Glad to be here bro. Always love hearing updates from you! The reporting of time is one of the most obvious scams of the many that are perpetuated by the WTS. Yet it is one of the strongest weapons in their armoury. For those of us on the fade, 'wiggle room' is one of the strongest weapons in our armoury. Reporting just enough to keep the wolves from becoming suspicious is a key part of our strategy. Elders who wake up face a particularly sticky time, as having been a visible and obvious part of congregation life, fading away can be hard. People notice when you start not showing up...
@mrquik: Thanks for sharing your story. It is heartwarming to see more and more waking up as a result of many different circumstances. CoC is an excellent read, and I wish there was some way it could be read by people pre-baptism, just so they can make an informed choice.
How did you like the WT study this weekend? For more than a hundred years the WTS has been making claims and statements about the imminent end of this world. Time and again people have been whipped into a frenzy by the WTS over how close it is. People have been commended by the WTS for selling up their lives, and not seeking careers and education. Still the world goes on, just as it always has. This WT article makes it clear though that if you are a bit frustrated by all this waiting, your lack of patience is indicative of a lack of faith.
I'm sure there is a sign on the wall in the Writing Department that says "Never miss an opportunity to make the sheep feel guilty!"
Expectation postponed is making the heart sick - Proverbs 13:12a
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konceptual99
PM for ya WS...
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WinstonSmith
Hello K99,
Thanks for your message, great to hear from you! Thanks for taking the time to send a message. I thought that I would reply here in the thread in the hope that some others may benefit from our conversation. One of my reasons for starting it was the hope that there might be some in a similar situation who can get some help and ideas from whatever gets posted in there.
Mrs Smith and I had a great time on holiday recently. We went to a country completely different to our own so it was great to soak up the culture, the food and the atmosphere. We are keen to go back in a few years and explore the other end of the country. Good times!
I am no longer serving as an elder. I stepped down around the middle of last year. It has certainly eased the pressure of fading, but having been such an obvious member of the congregation (WT Conductor, School Overseer) people notice when you are not around so we have had to be very careful.
The thing to remember is that there is no quick way out of this. I fully expect that we may never be 100% out as such. We are fortunate that we live in a different country than our families, so as far as the local fade goes, we can manage that - we can move, we can play sick, we can pretend. But when it comes to the family who might want to come over and stay, it is hard to hide so close up. I guess we are fortunate that we each have a small number of family members who are JWs, so there will only every be few occasions where we have to act the part (like when they come and stay, or if we go back home to see them).
Some days it would seem easier to just up and leave. To DA ourselves and be done with it. But the fact is that there are some people (not many) that we genuinely love and they would be absolutely destroyed if we were to DA ourselves or get DF'd. We don't feel that we could put them through that. This is how we feel now. Who knows, maybe eventually we may have different feelings and even the tiny bit of association we have with the JWs at that time might be more than we can stomach.
We don't have kids which does make things a bit easier. I have noted though from other posters that where there is one believer and one fader, the fader helps foster a questioning attitude in the young 'uns. Always get them to ask WHY and not accept the traditional JW response of "because Jehovah / the FDS / the WT said so". Encourage them to drill deeper, not just on WT stuff, but on everything. In addition to possibly helping them see the truth about the truth, they will develop logical questioning minds, and no harm ever came from that.
Little things like letting a spouse oversleep are good things to do. You know what? The results are telling. Uber JWs would never allow themselves to sleep in and therefore miss a meeting. It is little things that will chip away, not necessarily a dynamite blow. Keep looking for the positive.
Often COs will want to speak with bros who are seemingly 'weak'. If someone gets pulled aside by the CO, at least they are expecting it (as they have been purposely doing less) and can therefore have some thoughts in mind as to what they can say to him. Play on the stress and tiredness factor. "You know bro, I am finding that I need more time for my family." "Man I am just so tired all the time" be prepared for the usual 'encouragement to study more, get more active in the ministry etc etc. But just remember that he is only with the congregation for a week and the elders will only stay pumped for a few weeks after he goes before they go back to the rut. In this game you have to use human nature to your advantage. Know that humans revert to ruts easily. Know that people (especially window cleaners) get very uncomfortable when you start talking about stress and pressure and imply that there is more that you want to say but can't. Know that most elders don't have the time (or interest) in shepherding in the manner prescribed by the WTS. If they do any shepherding, in most cases it is sporadic and more likely a result of wanting to tick a box to say they done it rather than any real interest in you or your family. Phrases like "I really want to talk about it but can't, but don't worry we are all good, there is nothing to worry about" are your best friends.
It is also good to make them think that they have done you a favour. Often when elders speak to brothers about removing priveliges or postions, they are fully expecting people to beg them to reconsider. Take the bull by the horns. "You know what I have been thinking about that for a long time anyway." "This is such a relief, I will miss my duties but am looking forward to spending more time with my family". Giving people a different reaction to what they were expecting is a great way to shorten a conversation and take control of it.
We have to remember that we are playing a long game, and patience and a strong gut is what will get us through. It really is a battle of attrition and small wins. I really and honestly wish you well in extricating yourself from the organisation. Be prepared for a long haul though mate, we win in inches. I encourage you to read the story of the 47 Ronin. A story of patience and honour.
Me and everyone here are cheering for you and will assist in any way we can.
Stay strong and fight hard.
Keep in touch.
WS
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WinstonSmith
Today on my way home I saw a pioneer brother walking along a footpath. I pulled over and picked him up. On our way to his house we came up to a line of traffic so we stopped. We were in a lane heading straight and the lane on our right was a turning lane . A moron came up on our right, past all the other cars waiting patiently, he had his indicator on as he wanted to get in to our lane. He was in the turning lane, but had no intention of turning, he was just using it to skip ahead and not have to wait in line like every body else.
As the lights changed I moved on with the traffic and did not let the guy in (neither did the three cars behind me). Drivers like this annoy the heck out of me, and stuff like this is common in our area.
My dear pioneer brother says 'That wasn't very nice, you didn't let that guy in'. Obviously being a pioneer gives you the right to tell people who have kindly picked you up how to drive. I turned to him and said 'I'm just doing exactly what Jehovah is going to do to athiests at Armageddon.' You could see the rusty gears working in his head by the look on his face. What do you expect he's a JW so not used to thinking....
'What do you mean?' he asked. So I replied and said 'That guy, with all his thinking ability made a series of decisions and in the end it was a bad call. Athiests have been given a brain and free will, and with these the have made a series of decisions that have led them to be athiest. Even though Jehovah was the one who gave them the brain and the free will, he is going to kill those athiests at Armageddon, along with everyone else who hasn't decided to serve Jehovah.'
'Oh yes,' he says I see what you mean. Such a shame that nice people have to die.
My attempt to show him the illogicality of bible based 'free will' went waaaaay over his head. It may not be a wholly sound argument, but it was the best I could come up with at short notice.....
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Black Sheep
You don't know it hasn't worked, Winston. He has to try and sleep at night.
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WinstonSmith
True true, we never know what impact our words have on others.
Having said that, he's one of those pioneers. You know, the ones that turn up at your house right on lunchtime, 'just to say hello, oh you're having lunch, I won't distur...what you want me to stay for lunch, how kind of you!' The ones that bring an 89c bottle of soft drink to a BBQ and eat all the eye fillet. The ones that suggest the group gets coffee and then hangs back when it is time to pay...
Hee hee :-D
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Black Sheep
The ones that bring an 89c bottle of soft drink to a BBQ and eat all the eye fillet.
Well, we don't want them joining us the Dark Side.
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WinstonSmith
If pioneers are the WTS's idea of the 'ideal' JW, then there is going to be a lot of generic brand food and second hand suits in the New World...
:-D
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WinstonSmith
Some notes from the Service Meeting this week:
Bible Highlights on the book of Amos
The brother doing the highlights in our congregation compared window cleaners, dish washers and those people the hold the stop / go signs at roadworks to Amos because he was a 'nipper of figs'. 'Just as Amos wouldn't have had his own crop, or flock of sheep, many brothers today take menial work in order to have more time for the kingdom work.'
But the reality is Amos did not take this work in order to have more time for kingdom work. He was doing this work already at the time of commencing prophesying. In a majority of cases, the menial work that is taken on by some people has more to do with not having any education and training than any desire to free up time to do kingdom work. When Someone Says "You Don't Believe in Jesus" Why does there need to be a Service Meeting part on how to answer this question? Are JWs so dumb that they can't say 'Actually, that's not correct we believe in Jesus and he plays a key part in our service and worship.' and then carry on with a normal presentation? Oh that's right, the robots need to be programmed to spout the party line. See Good for Your Hard Work This article opens with these words: Man was designed to “see good because of his hard work.” (Eccl.2:24) That sentence makes sense doesn't it? The WTS is adept at make two separate ideas sound like one coherent idea. But does Ecclesiastes 2:24 say anything about man being designed to see good for his hard work....? Read and parse the words of the WTS and you will often find they make it sound like the bible says things that it does not. When the writer of Ecclesiastes penned those words, there was no such thing as the preaching work. The satisfaction and enjoyment mentioned here is part of a long rant about how pointless and vexatious life is. The writer is basically saying 'life is vanity and striving after wind, so take enjoyment from little things like a job well done.'