Submission probably the only way to give a chance of keeping those arranged marriages togrther
A wife's submission
by Mark_C 28 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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Ultimate Axiom
“you can make some of the N.T appear to support all sorts of things too if you want”
Quite agree, and I also agree there is a big difference between the way women are viewed in the NT over the OT. But the NT is still rooted in the OT, and if MarK_C is contemplating a life devoted to Jehovah, then he (and his fiancée) need to understand how Jehovah views women, and Lev 12 is as good a quote as any (for Jehovah doesn’t change). The womanly submission thing is carried forward into Christianity, “let women keep silent in the congregations, for it is not permitted for them to speak, but let them be in subjection, even as the Law says. If, then, they want to learn something, let them question their own husbands at home, for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in a congregation.” (1 Cor 14:34-35). And a little earlier is the oft quoted verse used by the WT that “the head of a woman is the man”, and if you want more, see 1 Tim 2 11-12 (I do not permit women to ... exercise authority over a man). The NT may not sanction misogyny, but women are still second class citizens in it, at least while they are on earth.
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jgnat
I'm going to give you a few tips that those born in to the religion know very well, but is not usually discussed with converts.
- Make your home your sanctuary. Do what is comfortable with you both. No need to share your intimacies with the elders or anyone else. This is what builds a strong marriage bond, that no-one can break.
- What is done away from prying eyes doesn't matter.
- Wherever possible, keep the elders out of it!
As the primary breadwinner in the family, I've had a lot of deep thoughts about Paul's instructions in the bible about marriage and the family. It made perfect sense for the culture back then, but it has frayed edges for modern families. When hubby and I had a major disagreement, I suddenly realized, as the breadwinner (tacit head of household), I had all the winning cards. He could rail all he wanted but all I had to do was withhold.
What if the two of you contribute equally (financially, emotionally) to the household? Does it make sense for one to be in "submission" to the other? Discuss your plans with deep respect for each other and come up with a mutual solution.
Out of curiosity, where did you get the idea that you might find Witness advice on a social forum? There's been some pretty pointed reminders in the literature lately that social media is to be avoided.
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Mark_C
Thank you all for your wise and relevant input on this discussion. Sorry it has taken me so long to get back!
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Heaven
Hey Mark was wondering what happened to you. Misogyny doesn't work. I watched it fail between my parents. Submission is all about control and is not something that generally works in any relationship. Collaboration, teamwork, 'finding the 3rd alternative'... these work.
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Giordano
Hmmmmmm a couple of years in between responses!
Reminds me of a story about a man who was reading a book when there was a knock on the door. He opens the door, there's no one there, he looks down and there's a snail looking back at him.
He boots the snail across the lawn. A year passes and once again there is a knock at the door, no ones there......he looks down and there's that snail again.
'What's your problem man!" says the snail.
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jgnat
I take it you are married now?
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Muddy Waters
The apostle Paul was never married, yet gave marital advice.
it reminds me of the GB, who, for the majority, don't have children, yet give advice on child rearing. They also give advice on field service when they themselves rarely go, if ever.
headship, submission -- bah! As a female totally-believing-it-all good little JW, all it made me do was learn how to be manipulative and passive-aggressive with my dear husband, who, thankfully, was much more balanced than I was in the JW world. I was a self righteous little bitch who controlled the tv, the family's recreation, anything we chose to read, watch, or do... All "submissively"' of course.
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Heaven
Muddy Waters said: The apostle Paul was never married, yet gave marital advice.
To me this is scary, not just because he wasn't married, but also because he had major sexual issues. Some believe he may have been gay and unable to deal with this. Sex seems to be a huge issue with many religious types.
When I was a teenager, the subjugation idea/topic was presented (among others). My reaction was "Hell No! I ain't doin' this shiite!" Just another nail in the coffin for this religion.