....when you are being told that 'this' is the only group that practices true christianity
.... when you are told to marry only from the same group
.... when you are officially forbidden to be on sites like this
You Know You Are In The Wrong Religion When:
by Vanderhoven7 50 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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slimboyfat
You know you are in the wrong religion...
...when a fellow member tells you that they are "stumbled" by your white socks.
...when learning biblical Greek and Hebrew is frowned upon.
...when changes are announced and members openly say to each other "I wonder why they really made that change".
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Vanderhoven7
I'm seeing some great additions!
You know you are in the wrong religion when:
1. the all important question is not: "Do you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ?"....but...."Do you believe in the "Faithful and Discreet Slave" appointed in 1919?"
2. you will be refused baptism if:
a. you don't believe Jerusalem was destroyed in 607 BC when all non-JW scholars, all encyclopedias and all history books say this event took place in 587 BC.
b. you, like Cornelius, are a member of the military.
c. you, like Daniel, Joseph and the Ethiopian eunuch hold political office.
d. you don't believe the apostles went door-to-door and that Christians are required to do the same.
e. you don't believe there the majority of Christians running around today are not part of the New Covenant, do not have a heavenly hope, and are not Spirit-begotten or born again.
f. you don't believe that finding and vserving in the right organization (the one with headquarters in Brooklyn) is necessary to escape eternal destruction at Armaggeddon.
g.
h.
3. all your friends stop speaking to you because you:a. grew a beard.
b. visit web sites critical of the Watchtower
c.
4. you will be disfellowshipped (spiritually executed) if
a. you don't agree that rejecting the authority men in Brooklyn is worthy of excommunication and shunning ex-JW family members.
b. you disagree with any doctrinal position or change handed down from the current governing body in New York.
c. you engage in any behavior that could be labeled as "brazen", and you refuse to "repent" when called before a kangaroo court.
d.
Humorous Additions: You know your in the wrong religion:
a. when you see the words "Jehovah" and "Witness" in its title
b. when you regularly hear the word "pioneer" used as a verb...
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moshe
You find out that all your pioneer friends shop at Goodwill, too.
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moshe
Your car now qualifies for antique plates-- no sense buying a new one when Armageddon is coming- very soon!
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Magwitch
The Harry Potter Books are kept hidden under a quilt, behind the cat box in the basement heater room
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Mr. Falcon
You Know You Are In The Wrong Religion When...
...you actually have window-washing, JC Penny suit-wearing elders insist that THEY carry out and handle cases of child abuse and NOT the trained authorities.
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Vanderhoven7
A Keep-em coming Update:
You know you are in the wrong religion:
1. when the all important question is not: "Do you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ?"....but...."Do you believe in the "Faithful and Discreet Slave" appointed in 1919?"
2. when you will be refused baptism if:
a. you don't believe Jerusalem was destroyed in 607 BC when all non-JW scholars, all encyclopedias and all history books say this event took place in 587 BC.
b. you, like Cornelius, are a member of the military.
c. you, like Daniel, Joseph and the Ethiopian eunuch hold political office.
d. you don't believe the apostles went door-to-door and that Christians are required to do the same.
e. you don't believe there the majority of Christians running around today are not part of the New Covenant, do not have a heavenly hope, and are not Spirit-begotten or born again.
f. you don't believe that finding and serving in the right organization (the one with headquarters in Brooklyn) is necessary to escape eternal destruction at Armaggeddon.
g.
h.3. when:
a.window-washing, JC Penny suit-wearing elders insist that THEY carry out and handle cases of child abuse and NOT the trained authorities.
b. your organization holds NGO status in the Beast of Revelation for 10 years running.
c. your leaders have a 100% failure rate interpreting biblical prophecy...except of course when it comes to invisible stuff.
4. when all your friends stop speaking to you because you:a. grew a beard.
b. visit web sites critical of the Watchtower
c.
5. when you will be disfellowshipped (spiritually executed) ifa. you don't agree that rejecting the authority men in Brooklyn is worthy of excommunication and shunning ex-JW family members.
b. you disagree with any doctrinal position or change handed down from the current governing body in New York.
c. you engage in any behavior that could be labeled as "brazen", and you refuse to "repent" when called before a kangaroo court.
d.Humorous Additions: You know your in the wrong religion:a. when you see the words "Jehovah" and "Witness" in its title
b. when you regularly hear the word "pioneer" used as a verb...
c. when you find out that all your pioneer friends shop at Goodwill, too.
d. your car now qualifies for antique plates-- no sense buying a new one when Armageddon is coming- very soon!
e. your Harry Potter Books are kept hidden under a quilt, behind the cat box in the furnace room
f. -
breakfast of champions
. . . . you just had to supress the thought that you might be in the wrong religion.
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Theocratic Sedition
when you walk around during your lunch break mumbling to yourself about the pros and cons to the religion. Or mumbling to yourself about the consequences of leaving the religion.
