I agree elderelite....there are worse things for a child than just being brough up a JW....it's the parents that matter, not just the religion. They may be loving parents.
How can we save this baby?
by Eustace 14 Replies latest jw friends
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3dogs1husband
these people are in no way trying to adopt a child out of the foster care system or even a group home. As a matter of fact the social workers incharge of those poor kids ...would never place one as adoptive child in the home of a JW. (well an active jw who isnt lying during their homestudy ;) ) If you know a JW who has adopted from the system trust me they know how to speak from two sides of their mouths. The Blood issue is hard to dance around. Let alone the holidays, and dont forget the shunning. The state regularly steps in and protect little jw's all over the country when parents refuse blood...they arent handing over kids to them.
This couple is trying to adopt by having a birth mom choose them in a private placement. This would be a pregnant mom who would pick them over the thousands of other waiting parents out there. They would pay all the fees of a lawyer and and pay an agencey (not a state social worker) social worker to do a homestudy to meet each states requirement to finalize the adoption. The diffrence is in a placement where the birth parent picks you - the social worker does a homestudy to show you are a fit home only, you get a lot more "trump" cards when a bmom chooses you unlike a state social worker. A birth mom choosing them is there only option as real true JW..They need to find a birth mom who doesnt mind all the quirks or doesnt care........like i said before there is no real chance of a baby. You never know they might luck out and find a young girl in service..or a friend might find a troubled pregnant girl out in the ministry.
There are thousands of people waiting for babies and thousands of agencies recruiting pregnant women to place with them......not very likey all those jw quirks will make the cut. I had 4 agencies turn down our request to even become a client (which came with a 10,000 payment) they told us it would not happen...period. And forget international adoption. They gave us no false hope.
The state social workers were nice enough to get together and talk a few times.....those meetings and the questions i had no answers to were the start of my googling the WT. Good times :)
edited to add sometimes if you get a birth family member to "pick" you even when the children are older and in foster care that also can help stack the deck to help a JW adopt... like if bmom is not signing over her rights and is fighting them (or going off to jail) and the poor child is in foster care the state might let her place her child with a Jw family is she choose them...but not always.
I personaly know of a very loving JW hub and wife who were able to find a great state sw they loved and she got them thru a homestudy and a placement of 2 boys thru foster care ( alot of double speak) They were over the moon and so thrilled. But they foolishly moved before their adoption was final (takes about 6 months to one year dependign on where you live) got there file moved to a new office. The new social worker found out they were JW did an interview on the children found out that they had been "spanked" at an assembly (they had signed saying that they would not hit the children - they are only gaurdians till the finalization) and the boys were removed from them. It was soooooo Horrid it was a nightmare...gut wrenching :(
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lostinthought
I feel sorry for the couple, they seem that they really want to have kids.
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myway2007
3dogs..., I would say you are spot on with your response. Having been through the home study and the 30 hrs of training, life long JW's don't have enough life experiences to deal with the issues that the kids in the system have. The already have enough emotional baggage with them and putting them with a JW family would only multiply the issues.
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free @ last
I wonder what it would be like to be a recent ex-JW trying to be an adoptive parent? With no extended family support, all old friend having turned their back, perhaps being behind in economic resources because one did not peruse higher education. I think this couple actually ave a better chance than lots of ex-JWs, at least they have the pics showing they have a social network for this kid.