The poor and deprived life of JW children. (page 3)

FayeDunaway

And guilting people into not celebrating a natural family event is unnatural as well! Birthdays have nothing to do with false gods. Just a nice little display of love for someone who was born that day.

OrphanCrow

Esse quam videri:
I grew up as a JW kid and it actually made me feel good, being different from the other kids in school.

You obviously learned your JW lessons well. "I was different" translates into "I was better than them because I will live forever and they won't."

It sounds to me like you had a superiority complex, which is not unusual for young males in a patriarchal cult.

Was I an unhappy kid because I did not celebrate all those x-mas, easter, birthdays,etc, etc, etc.? No, no and again no.
If you are an adult and feel you had a deprived childhood, grow up and get over it.

Easter, Christmas and birthdays were the times that our family couldn't visit and interact with the large non-JW family that would gather on those days. I missed out on what my cousins got - the unconditional love of extended family.

Grow up and get over it? I have. I gave those things to my children so that they don't grow up with a distorted view of what family love means.

Obviously you think that you don't have to get over it - you liked the feeling of false empowerment that being a young JW male gave you. Good for you. Have you grown up enough to get over your false superiority?

DarioKehl

This guy's a troll, ain't he?

Freesoul

Oh, I grew up and got over it, I don't sit here and think about the time I didn't have a birthday party, I have got on with my life.

But I did visit my JW dad the other day, he had just turned 80 year old, a couple of days earlier, the only way I knew this happened is not because my JW family had told me, the only what I knew this is because I have my parents birthdays written down.

So when I visited my dad, who is the best dad in the world, all I said was"Oh you turned 80 a couple of days ago what a huge mile stone and it is so go that you a so healthy well done," I could tell that he was proud but he was not allowed to react.

No family get together, no family dinner, no celebration, nothing,

Ucantnome

Sure I liked staying home some Saturdays and watching Spiderman cartoons, BUT, I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, [is that enough to get my point across?] ever missed birthdays, x-mass, etc etc etc.

When I was a child there was no Saturday or Sunday morning cartoons to stay home watch but I still would have rather stayed home rather than go in the field service. On a Sunday my father would generally get stuck on the first or second door for the full hour while i had to be ready with a smile on my face to hand the householder an invitation to the Sunday talk which we knew they were unlikely to attend. Often this was in cold weather and i would have blocks of ice for feet by the time we left and then got a telling off as i didnt look interested in the conversation at the door. I was preschool.

My parents would generally go out on Christmas day and so would take us kids with them. I can remember calling on kids homes that I went to school with. Although I got a long with the kids at school this wasn't something I enjoyed doing, calling at their homes on Christmas morning.

My parents didn't believe in having present days, too much like Christmas. Therefore I didn't get presents at least nothing in wrapping paper. I got a pen when I graduated from junior high from my parents, that was it for gifts. My older sibling can remember when my parents did celebrate Christmas and their excitement the night before on Christmas eve. There was no excitement like that in my childhood. I can remember going to my grandparents house after Christmas day with a lot of my cousins there and dreading the thought that should Christmas be mentioned or gifts or anything to be ready to give some sort of witness and my father didn't like mistakes.

I'm not a kid anymore and it was years ago but truthfully I can say I didn't enjoy my childhood and I certainly didn't enjoy the meetings or field service and loathed the assemblies.

As for joining the theocratic ministry school. I hated giving every talk I ever gave and I gave quite a few over thirty years. When I joined I don't think they had bible readings. I think it was a short talk. I wouldn't have joined had my father not suggested it. It was best to heed his suggestions. As a young teen when I was baptised I remember being at the kingdom hall one Sunday and thinking how much I hated the thought that one day I would have to be an elder. Thankfully I was able to avoid it.

If you are an adult and feel you had a deprived childhood, grow up and get over it.

I didn't subject my children to the same childhood as I had. When I was a witness and we had children I didn't take them to the assemblies, to sit for hours listening to things they wouldn't understand. Field service was brief and meetings were shorter and at one time when they were young we didn't take them in the week as they were tired. They grew up fine.

honest

"If you are an adult and feel you had a deprived childhood, grow up and get over it."

I don't post much on here but this deserved a response.

How dare you tell others how to feel!

Grow up and let people express their feelings .

How dare you discredit people's feelings.

This cult destroyed my young life, it also made me suppress my feelings, wasn't allowed to feel the way I felt. Then to have this attitude or opinion thrown in my face to suppress my feelings again is just another ones way to exercise to have their power over my feelings.

So excuse my language.....

Piss off

I don't tolerate cult mannerisms.

snugglebunny

I grew up as a JW kid and it actually made me feel good, being different from the other kids in school.

Yup, being brought up to become a social outcast can be very character building.

mychainsaregone

I definitely felt like an outcast.... having to sit through the pledge of allegiance and not be allowed to color any type of holiday pictures or sing any patriotic or holiday songs, and don't even think about participating in any type of program at school, being left out of birthday parties, even when a mother would bring cupcakes for her child to share with the class... that's not awkward, is it? Being pointed at and called weird. I can remember my first birthday cake... It was when I turned 16 and I was at work, I cried and thought it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me... and I didn't tell my mother. :/

sd-7

These holidays are only human traditions. I never missed them because I never really knew them. My parents gave me plenty of good things regardless. I have very little desire to do holidays because it's something people do for no apparent reason to me. Family, chocolate candy, costumes, gifts, turkeys, etc.--these are things available to you throughout the year, apart from not being able to get days off to see all the family together, I mean. Big deal.

What bothers me is the stolen TIME. Stolen time I could have used to get proper rest or to do my homework on midweek meeting nights and Saturday mornings. People I avoided out of fear because they were different from me. How do I know if I missed out on a lifelong friendship or meeting the love of my life? I'll never know that. Countless hours spent in reading and internalizing information that was not only false but misleading and abusive.

Deprived of gifts? No. Of time, of a proper, healthy, nurturing childhood? Yes.

--sd-7

FayeDunaway

I like holidays in part because you feel part of the larger community. Going to the local christmas play, trick or treating in the neighborhood, Thanksgiving when everyone else is doing it...recognizing the passing of the seasons is natural. To do it in the greater community feels satisfying in sort of a primal way.

The poor and deprived life of JW children.

Esse quam videri:

Share this