I have seen children in the KH with balanced parents who gave themselves to their children providing a loving and active home life and I have seen children with parents who were running a religious concentration camp...and everything in between. The experiences here do not always represent all experiences in the Witness religion but they do represent a sector.
The poor and deprived life of JW children.
by Esse quam videri 64 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
-
-
Onager
I wonder if they ever came back to read any of these comments... -
Caedes
I was forced to return books to the library if my parents didn't like the look of them. I took to just reading them while at the library instead. Anything science fiction or fantasy was likely to get rejected. Eventually I used to pick up some books for approval and would hide anything I knew wasn't going to get past the censors. My parents are from the UK so it's not just the US that has a problem with fundamentalism.
The main issue as the OP shows is the fact that not all JW kids had the same experience, I knew one family whose kids looked like the stepped out of the forties, they had a horrible time at home and at school and they just looked miserable. I know that other kids that had it better than me and seemed to cope quite well.
It's just stupid to assume that your own experience as a child of JWs is going to be the same as everyone else's. The OP's mistake is to denigrate the experience of others simply because his experience was different.
-
confuzzlediam
I agree that the poster should not compare his growing up to others experiences growing up in the WT. Maybe he is a poser. But I have to say that while I thought I was missing out on celebrating the holidays, school functions and sports as a kid, I look back and am ok with it. I was still allowed to play with the neighbor kids, but also had friends that were witnesses. My parents did not have much growing up and celebrating the holidays would have put a financial strain on them. I was actually ok with going to the school library or walking home while the other kids had the holiday parties. The school library had this super cool covered wagon in it that I would have all to myself to read while they were in the classroom. And being able to walk home and spend time there was cool cuz I was the only kid that could do it! I actually liked getting up on stage and giving talks, even though I was a girl and had to do it with a householder. As I got older, I would volunteer for a talk if someone cancelled at the last minute. I also liked going out in service. Not because I liked talking to people about God, but I loved going with friends and family in the car so we could sit and talk! Not to mention going on breaks to get coffee and donuts!! It was especially fun when someone would get stuck at the door for a long time, cuz that meant that we could sit in the car and talk. It was purely a social thing for me!
When my kids were younger and we were taking them out in field service, we would make it fun for them by just hitting laundry mats and gas stations. They didn't have to talk to anyone, just grab a couple of watchtowers and awakes and leave them on a counter. We usually cut the mornings short and would go out for lunch with our friends and family, sometimes hanging out with them for the rest of the day. When it came to the days that they would have holiday parties, my kids would stay home all day and we would plan something fun for them to do with other witness kids who attended the same school. Halloween would be spent in the basement of our house with our close friends and family watching movies and eating pizza, popcorn and apple crisp. OR we would all go out to dinner. Thanksgiving and Christmas were spent with family, eating and playing games, as usually it was the only time off during the year that we could all get together cuz everyone had the day off.
I guess we tried to make it less awkward for our kids. They still had neighbor kids and kids from school over. So, we were not the uber strict witnesses that some of those in the hall were. I get it that not everyone shared my experiences growing up, but I certainly won't tell you all to just get over it and grow up!!
I am not bitter about being raised a witness when it comes to missing out on the holidays and what not. I ended up doing the same for my kids, because I THOUGHT that I was doing right by them from what I was taught to believe. I AM bitter however about never having a choice as to what to believe in for fear of losing my witness friends and family. Getting baptized at 16 when I had NO clue what I was in for, doing it because it was the thing to do, not because I believed in it 100%. Being wrongfully disfellowshipped over a fun night of going out with my adult witness friends who turned their back on their friends, to save their own ass. I am bitter over the way the WT has such a firm grip over their followers and the tactics that they use to keep you in. Which is why I will never go back. I love my life, my friends, my boyfriend and the fact that my kids don't want to have anything to do with it. And you know what?? They are great kids, even though their witness friends are taught to think differently about them.
Rambling over...must be the 10 hours of sleep that I had and the 3 cups of coffee!! lol BTW...I really have enjoyed reading about everyone's personal experiences on this thread. It is interesting to me to read how each of us being raised as witnesses have had different stories to tell about their childhood and their thoughts as to how it has affected them as adults.
-
Sofia Lose
Eqv,
I totally get you. Having grown up in the Spanish congs, it was a blast. So we did not celebrate the popular holidays, but still all the different parties we did celebrate were and continue to be so much fun!
Recently, I heard about one of the fellow Spanish congs got all the kids together and threw a Disney theme party, character dress ups and all! Great food, games, gifts, dancing. Definitely IMO JW kids are by no means less happy growing up than any other groups.
The adults must make sure entertainment is not lacking in their little one's life.
SL
-
azor
To everyone that agrees with esse.
The issue is his judgement of others by telling them to grow up and get over it.
His experience is just that, his experience. For those like him and me by the way that don't have many childhood complaints for not knowing any better. That is fine express that.
It disgusts me when people like him come on boards like this one and blast others. Everything up to his last statement was fine.
It is because of the last statement that he is a FUQIN A**HOLE!!!
-
Frazzled UBM
Isolation can intensify bonding - certainly that is what the WBTS wants and achieves. That sense of specialness (actually superiority) because holidays are not celebrated reinforces the isolation and bonding with others who do the same thing. So it is unsurprising that Esse has fond memories. But the reality is this did damage. My wife who was also brought up as a Witness and is very close to her brothers and sisters for similar reasons but she is incapable of operating socially outside her family. -
millie210
I left this thread because it was the predictable bashing of the OP for having an opinion that isnt the "party line".
I am so glad I came back to see much more balanced and really interesting posts to read have followed the knee jerk reactions.
azor, I appreciate what you are saying. I get that now.
-
fulltimestudent
Two of my friends kids are still in. I think that's because he (and, he was usually an elder) believed he should make life interesting for his kids. He made sure they had something to replace the O.W. celebrations. In their case it was a special family day, based around his wedding anniversary, when everyone got and gave gifts. He says he understood the need for ritual in people's lives. So assemblies and the Memorial were always a big deal, with some build up to the events.
Additionally, he took them to classes in school holidays, I recall him having his kids taught gymnastics for about a year.
Interestingly, both children (now adults with their own families) do the same. One daughter takes her kids to swimming classes, and they swim well, well enough to be considered for the state swimming squad in the state where they live. The other daughter is involved in modern dance in the European city where she now lives, and she takes her child to classes.
In neither case do the elders in their congregation appear disturbed by those activities.
Interestingly, where he lives, a couple of JW guys have rented an apartment. They both appear to be heavily involved (possibly pioneering) but own good quality bicycles and most days in summer go on long bike rides. One even has a 'hot' motor bike and 'lairises' around on it.
Maybe this is just the more relaxed world of Australia.
I quote it all to be fair. And, I should also note that I have seen some absolute bastards in some congregations and also wondered why the branch put up with their stupidity.
-
rebel8
The main issue as the OP shows is the fact that not all JW kids had the same experience
Right. Seeing things from others' perspectives is a skill that has to be developed. Ya aren't born with it.
Telling an entire forum full of thousands of ex-cultists that their experiences weren't that bad and they should just stop whining about it, is incorrect, naive, and mean.