Never, never was 100% in (page 2)

Christ Alone

This thread fascinates me... Obviously you would NEVER have had admitted what you wrote above while you were still in. It just makes me wonder how many other elders, MS's, bethelites, pioneers, etc... feel this same way.

There is the appearance of unity. There is the appearance that everyone is happy and LOVE being JWs. Just look at the JWs that respond on youtube videos. It appears that they love love love being JWs. But more and more as I read these posts it looks like the reality is that there are thousands that don't buy it.

Satanus

Does it boil down to not being allowed to be yourself?

S

sir82

Obviously you would NEVER have had admitted what you wrote above while you were still in. It just makes me wonder how many other elders, MS's, bethelites, pioneers, etc... feel this same way.

That's just it - JWs are not taught to think, or to realize who they really are and what they really believe in and stand for.

Who you are, what you believe, and how you act are all spelled out explicitly on the pages of the Watchtower and the Kingdom Ministry. There is no "wiggle room".

Once you start to figure that out for yourself, then you look backward and realize what you were missing.

It's really hard to realize & cope with the fact that at age [x], perhaps decades after the age that other people have it figured out, you don't really know who you yourself are. I still struggle with it, though I am trying to make progress.

tootired2care

Too funny...I just had this discussion with my wife the other day, we both were never 100% in and had doubts all along. My wife says that her parents actions showed they were never in 100% either. For example when her parents would buy big ticket items, they were told not to tell anyone in the congregation because of how it would be interprested by others, they never did more than the bare minimum in their ministry also.

Like others we really tried to be zealous, have family study pioneer etc. I always expected that when you really sacrificed you would have a feeling of well being, and greater happiness. Every time I did this I ended up just feeling more tired and taken advantage of. Friends in the cargroups were often catty and cranky, and never seemed to have any return visits! We drove most of the time, very rarely did someone offer to pay for coffee or help with gas. I reached out to be an MS was made one, and my doubts just continued to grow as I saw the Elders pawn everything off on the MS's.

After several of these experiences of doing more and being disappointed, coupled with doctrinal doubts, I was fine with doing just the bare minimum for the last several years until I just stopped going to meetings altogether.

DATA-DOG

YOU GUYS JUST NEVER MADE " THE TRUTH " ( tm) YOUR OWN. SHAME ON YOU!!!!

If the truth be known there isn't one person that is 100% but they put up and shut up to save face.

" TRUE CHRISTIANS " (tm) TRUST THE SLAVE.

pontoon

Sorry for double posting. Enjoying good replies. Another thing for me was that I never felt that "this life" was so bad as taught by Wat., even though I felt I was missing out on things I would have enjoyed. Some have more legitimate problems and issues than others for sure, but life is also a lot of what you make it, and for me it was good so it was hard to buy into the doom and gloom of this old system. Through all that I've had some "worldly" friends as close to me as my brothers and sister, I knew worldy people could be as good and moral or bad and unmoral as anyone in the truth.

Satanus

Makes me wonder about christians. Not the generic ones, but the 'jesus only' ones. They identify w jesus: being like him, being him, being inhabited by him, in love w him, etc. However sincere it is. However much it is felt, it is still OTHER. Ie, it's being someone else, NOT being themselves.

They talk about jesus as a door. Fine. W a door, you pass through and move on. However, they don't. They stay w the door, so to speak. Holding to the door analogy, you leave the effing doorway behind you. You effing forget the effing door and move on to higher levels, nest pas?

Does this need a separate thread?

S

Robert7

I was the same way! I always saw myself as a 'liberal JW'. I accepted the good (new system, worldwide brotherhood, etc) and figured I can work around the bad, like my kids WERE going to college, I held a good job, I ignored the cult-like behavior.

Key thing is, by not being 100% in, the part that's not in keeps gnawing at you... and at least for me, kept gnawing and gnawing until I finally broke mentally free! I hope this happens to all!

nochoice

If the truth be known there isn't one person that is 100% but they put up and shut up to save face.

Sad to say, this isn't the case for a lot of the friends. I see some kind hearted, sincere people who give it thier all even when they're not being watched. They truly believe that Jehovah is watching their every move and dicerning every thought and motive. Some of them, I believe, are afraid of themselves! Of what might come up into thier mind or heart so they struggle in turmoil. I can say this about a couple of elders too, but mostly it's the regular publishers. And even if it's just say, 20 of the friends out of a typical 100 publisher congregation that are in 100%, that too many.

I was never 100% growing up in the organization. But I am not sure if that made it worse because I couldn't justify the time I was spending. Perhaps being 100% indoctrinated is better than 90% because you don't know any better.

DesirousOfChange

My wife revealed it to me just recently that she never bought it all 100%. When there were things said or published that she did not agree with, she just ignored it completely -- just let it go in one ear and out the other. I was shocked!

I bought it ALL! Hook-line-and-sinker. 110%. I guess that's why I'm so pissed off about it all.

I don't now which feeling is worse:

Being MAD that I was lied to and manipulated so wrecklessly. . . . . or,. . . .

Feeling so damn gullible that I bought it all! Lapped it up!

Doc

Never, never was 100% in

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