I'm screwed..........

butalbee

I went w/ my ex to the hall tonight, don't remember much except walking in, hiding in the bathroom for half hour, and dodging all the schmoozing when trying to exit the building. I also remember my ex holding my hand and smiling at me. It was a happy smile, like "I am so glad you're here w/ me", but it hinted of evil intentions.

Just out of the blue, he asked if I'd like to go w/ him tonight for the meeting, um, I was thinking NO, but I don't know why I said yes.

He asked me if I would like to go out to dinner tomorrow night(friday), I again said yes. I am such a sucker. I think I am just sick of being alone, and I miss him still terribly. Yes, I know, I'm getting myself back into high water, but maybe this time, I won't feel as though I am drowning. I don't know. What the hell am I doing? Why can't I get over this guy? It's like I know what I'm getting myself into, but I keep telling myself, it will be different this time.

refiners fire

Me girl.
Your thread title says it all!
You know the answers but still embark down the road of misery.
I guess youll just have to experience it again to know its not what you want. Unfortunately the Dubs is a "lifestyle", not a sunday church meeting. Youve gotta live it EVERY day.
No hiding from it.
I dont think you'll last very long in there.
Youre too wild and free.

Before you go...
remember that the Bible is a big book with a LOT of scriptures and you can find a scripture to fit everything. Just be aware if the scriptures are from SCATTERED TEXTS when theyre making their arguments to you.
Quoting a scripture from Matthew, Another from Nehemiah and another from Psalms and linking them together to form an argument is a fallacy.
Remember that if you ever start to think its the "Truth".

butalbee

When I started to "believe" in their truth, it drove me crazy. Maybe I should re-read some of the stuff I posted before, esp the one on depression....
Yeah, I am a wild and free personality, but when it comes to M I loose all sense of myself.

Thanks for the advice Refiner's.

TR

Come on Butalbee, use your head, not his.

TR

Beans

I really don`t know what to say! I could never walk into a KH again other than a funeral. Man this is so frustrating trying to put myself in your shoes and they don`t seem to fit! Like I said on your post the other day, You will know what to do when the time comes. But I wonder,have you not learned anything from being here sister Bee?

Love Beans

Can I do the screwing?

refiners fire

The problem getting involved in it is going to be finding a level you can live on that you will be happy with.
This organization doesnt COMPROMISE.
It will be either their way, or hit the highway.
You will have to comply with all requirements. Meetings every second night. Field service. Wear the correct look on your face.
Keep your mouth shut. The whole bit.
Besides the people in there are BORING. Theyre so stultified you will die of fatigue.
I feel sorry for your situation, really.

Introspection

Bee I'm sorry if you've posted this already, but do you have some support over there, people you can talk to in person? Because it does seem like you know all this intellectually, maybe what you need is a friend over there that you can be with. (and not him)

Quotes

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK, you like this guy, you haven't gotten over him.

Question: have you started seeing anyone else? I think in an earlier post you said yes. Perhaps you haven't met the right guy yet.

Please don't confuse:
-the inability to find a compatible match after a short time dating

with

-possibility that the "ex" is the only one for you

There are what, 150 million American men out there? Even taking broad strokes to remove the "undatable" from the possible choices for you, you are still left with *MILLIONS* of possible mates. Chances are there are *TENS OF THOUSANDS* of great matches for you out there. Now get out there and find one (or maybe a few, nudge nudge, wink wink) that isn't wrapped up in a dangerous mind-control cult!

OK, if you are still stuck on this guy, even after considering the thousands of other options, the only other possibility is to get him out so that you can truly be with him and not have to *SHARE HIM WITH A BUNCH OF OLD MEN IN BROOKLYN*.

Can you say to him:

"I really like you, I want to be with you. But I truly believe that you are in danger. I am saying this out of love. Just as you would try to help and rescue me if I was involved with the Moonies, or the Scientologists, or the Branch Davidians in Waco Texas, or the Heaven's Gate, I am trying to help you avoid danger, danger you are not even aware of."
"You are in a prison of the worst kind: a prison of your own mind. And the only way to get you out is to talk about it. I want to have a weekly study with you, and only you -- no one else. And I don't want to read a Watchtower book, I don't want you to teach me. Rather, I want to teach you."

Show him quotes printed by The Society: http://Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com/ . When he gives the "old light" defense, ask him "Was this spiritual food from Jehovah?" or "Would you want to eat a meal that was only a little bit poison?"

If he listens, then you may have a beautiful future outside the BOrganziation. But if he does not listen, then you will remember why you left both him and the BOrganization.

===========================
For interesting Watchtower Society literature quotes, complete with references but without any editorial, check out:
http://Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com

KissAFish

OOOoh uh....

Abaddon

butalbee, why do you need us to tell you that you're doing something really stupid when you already know?

I'm screwed..........

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