The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves

by PaintedToeNail 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • PaintedToeNail
    PaintedToeNail

    Being an adult, I choose not to attend the meetings. I would prefer my children not attend meetings, however being married to a diehard JW, this is difficult to accomplish. The kids do NOT want to attend, as the meetings are boring, as they have often said. I of course agree with them, the meetings are indeed boring. Last night, their father made them listen to him read them the Watchtower study for today, I had gone to bed really early and didn't realise this was happening. Getting up after having some nightmares, I walked down the hall to my middle child's room, this child shall be refered to as "M". "M" told me about the Watchtower reading and that it was unintelligable to him/her. He/she told me that he/she didn't want to go to the meeting either, and that he/she would rather have a spanking than go. I expressed my unhappiness that he/she would be forced to attend by the father.

    Whilst up in the middle of the night, I read blondies overview of today's Watchtower Study, and how we are 37 years into the 1000 year reign, according to WT publications. This info was filed away in the old brain.

    This am, my youngest child, "Y", came to me to tell me he/she was feeling sick. This child had just come out of the shower and was dripping wet, it is cold outside here too, so I decided to tell hubby that "Y" is sick and not going to the meeting. "Y" does have head congestion right now too, so this wasn't a lie on my part. Hubby proceeded to order "Y" into bed and demand that he/she stay there, as he/she is sick. "Y" started crying and howling.

    "M" decided to try and hide from his/her father so he/she wouldn't have to go to the meeting either. Father hunted all over for "M", and finally directly asked me where "M" was. Not wanting to lie outright, I did tell him, but offered what he/she told me the night before, that "M" would rather have a spanking than go to the meeting. Father removed "M" from the hiding place and went to spank "M" in lieu of meeting attendance. "M" changed his/her mind and decided to go to the meeting instead of the spanking.

    Father disappeared for a few minutes, my oldest child, "O" here, was sitting in the livingroom with "M" and myself. "M" commented again that he/she didn't want to go the meeting and be forced to sit through yet another Watchtower study. I commented that the thousand year reign was already 37 years into it's time period, and therefore, only 963 years of it were left, according to Watchtower literature. "M" said, 'why doesn't the end come?', they have been saying it for thousands of years that it was going to come.' Father came into the room, so nothing more could be said.

    He rounded up "O" and "M" and went to leave. "O" commented to me that Dad had ordered "Y" to stay in bed. I told "O" that the next time Dad is sick, I shall tell him he has to stay in bed all day.

    "Y" continued to cry. They left. As soon as I saw the car drive down the road, I told "Y" he/she could get out of bed and do whatever they wanted.

    The good thing out of all this nastiness is: Dad is being forced to play the bad cop and reinforces that meetings are a drudge. The kids won't forget they were really forced to go.

    I wait now for them to come home. "M" will tell me how awful the meeting was, and I will truthfully agree. "M" feels free to tell me how he/she feels about things and won't say these things to dad.

  • Jadeen
    Jadeen

    That was my childhood too! Sunday mornings, us kids would wake up and tip toe around the house. "Shhhh, don't wake up mom and dad!" Then, as soon as meeting time started, we would stop being totally quiet. But if we said that we didn't want to go to meeting, we would get a spanking and have to go anyway. Once we got older, the deal was if you don't go to meeting, you have to clean the house. We picked cleaning the house as much as our parents would let us.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    How old are your kids?

  • rather be in hades
    rather be in hades

    i'm happy they have someone like you in their lives.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    I am so sorry to hear about the kids. I hope things change. Long-term, I am pretty confident that they will escape the Watchtower, but find your strength to deal with this now.

  • rather be in hades
    rather be in hades

    i also want to echo otwo's sentiments. they don't like it now, and having a parent in the household who already is expressing dislike in the org should show them that is acceptable to not want to be a jw.

    if i had that, instead of a single mom who was all into it, i would have bounced out of this thing by the time i was 10 or 12.

  • ShirleyW
    ShirleyW

    You're a good mom PT - if my dad did that, instead of her letting me get out of bed like you did with your kids, I know she would've said "you heard what your father said, get back in bed"!

  • 00DAD
    00DAD

    PTN: Father removed "M" from the hiding place and went to spank "M" in lieu of meeting attendance.

    That is truly disgusting behavior.

    Ultimately, this will either break your children's spirit or force them to rebel and leave the first chance they get. Either way they will have lots and lots of anger issues.

    There are a few things you could do.

    1. Reason with your husband. Point out that Christ NEVER abused his followers.

    2. Give him an ultimatum: tell him if he EVER threatens and/or physically or verbally abuses any of YOUR children again you will turn him into the elders, the police and leave. Be prepared to follow through or this is meaningless.

    Abuse should NEVER be tolerated. Stand up for your children. They need it.

    00DAD

  • whathappened
    whathappened

    OODad is 100% correct. Do not allow your husband to abuse these poor kids.

    I can really relate to this story. When we were little, we didn't want to go to meetings either. We would say we didn't feel good, had homework, etc. We were just guilt tripped into conceeding and attending the meetings.

    Now I look back at it and think how children naturally recognize bullsh** when they smell it. It's the parents who are blind.

    I feel so bad for you, being in the middle, not wanting your kids to have to endure this. You have my sympathy. It does sound like your kids are all "in the know." Hopefully your hubby will give up the fight and let them be.

  • PaintedToeNail
    PaintedToeNail

    00Dad-He did not spank "M". "M" chose to go to the meeting instead of being spanked. "M" got to see that coerceion is the only method Dad can use to make the go to the meetings. He came out in a bad light.

    In the country and state I live in, it is NOT illegal to spank your kids. There would be no legal leg to stand on. The elders would applaud his behavior as the society encourages little children to be disciplined, with corporal punishment, if needed, in their very KH's.

    My kids and I do a lot of critical and logical thinking skills work. I have bought supplimental books on this subject and we use them regularly, and they are blossoming in this regard.

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