by HillCountry 29 Replies latest jw friends
HillCountry, Your story is very touching!
"Nevertheless, I feel horrible knowing that if I had become baptized and then become disfellowshipped, I would have lost much of my family."
Please don't feel bad about a hypothetical scenario. You are glad that you didn't get baptize and your future looks pretty bright.
And thank you for sharing!
Hi HillCountry,
We have much in common - my maternal and paternal grandparents were converted to the Watchtower organization in the 1920s and 1030s respectively and I'm also bent. I was baptized at 17 naively thinking that Jehovah would see inside my heart, realize how sincere and zealous I was and remove the queer-tendencies from my raging hormones. I could never understand how being raised in the religion and even having grandparents in it I could have ever ended up queer. I should imagine that both my otherwise lovely JW parents - both now deceased - would look away and say, "Hell don't blame us.We only raised him".
Anyway, I escaped with the skin of my teeth in my late 20s and I courageosly mark my disfellowshipping in 1982 as the official crowning of my finally growing up and accepting myself bent parts and all.
Now, close to 60 and decades removed from being booted out, I nicely realize that the main reason I was kicked out was not because I was bent (I was unhappily celibae), but because I was and am an intelligent, clear-thinking man who did not come down in the last shower. There are plenty of bent JWs who suffer through the years and lead miserable lives and I know of a few who have killed themselves.
You will find a good measure of acceptance on this forum and, perhaps even some kick-arse exchanges as well. This ain't a substitute for a kingdom hall lifestyle - thank goodness - and you won't find everyone simply agreeing. But you'll find enough authenticity and acceptance to want to stick around and perhaps even resolve some of the issues that really should never have been made issues by the religion in the first place.
Welcome again. steve
Hi Hill country.
I can understand how you feel, but question the validity of reasons that make you feel so badly. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay, or having sex with another person of the same sex. Same sex attraction is part of the human story, anyone genuinely interested in the history of mankind, soon discovers the reality of male2male sex as far back as we can go in time.
It also indicates this in the Bible. 1 Kings 14:24, says that the land was full of male temple prostitutes in the time of Rehoboam, son of Solomon, grandson of David. The time of David and Solomon was supposedly the golden age of Yahweh worshippers, and yet in not so many years we suddenly find that there are male prostitutes all over the place. Now male prostitutes need customers, so as well as the land being full of male prostitutes, the land was also full of their customers impatient, it can be deduced, to fork out their hard-earned shekels for a 'good-time' with their local male temple prostitute.
Male2male sex was very popular in Greek and Roman times. Plato's Symposium describes Socrates and his fellow philosophers at parties with their boyfriends, drinking late into the night, served wine by naked serving boys. Alexander the Great had a long term boyfriend, and hugged the corpse all day when his boyfriend died. The Roman emperor Hadrian even started a religious cult for his dead boyfriend Antinous, it became very popular perhaps even serving as a model for the Jesus cult, and resulted in the preservation of more suviving statues of the handsome young Antinous than statues of anyone else.
In East Asia, the biggest winge that Christian missionaries had about the Chinese, Koreans and Japanese was that they all (an exaggeration) had boyfriends.
Gary Leupp, a scholar dealing with Japan in the Tokugawa era (circa 1600's to 1900's) suggests that M2M sex was "normative."
In that same time period, some of the most influential people in Europe had their boyfriends also, including King James I, the man responsible for the KJV Bible.
And, for an emotional read about another gay kid who almost broke under the strain of trying to live in Yahweh's wonderful spiritual paradise, search for the life story of Josh, a young western australian kid (as I recall it). (I tried to find it, but couldn't).
Its a changing world out there, Hillcountry! Don't get sucked into what the witnesses (or, any other Christian) tells you. They are quite wrong in their ideas., and if there is a JUST God in heaven, the first ones he is going to punish will be stupid homophobic Christians.
To cheer you, here in Australia, the winner last night of the latest 'big brother' show (if that means anything) was a gay man, who, as soon as the award was made, proposed to his long term boyfriend.
Welcome Hill!
Hi Hill Country..... Glad you are now THINKING about the way the WT is wrong.
I have a grand daughter that is a Lesbion.She & her lover was married a few months ago.
It is allowed in Canada... I am so happy to hear your MUM is understanding.
I am so happy also that you havent thought of marrying a girl. as some Gays did
to cover up their feelings, Then eventually broke the hearts of the one they married.
I suggest you get your education. Listen to your heart... BUT!!!! as Granny on board
I have to suggest you invite the WAY,TRUTH,LIFE in your heart with you. That is Jesus Christ
Thanks for sharing your story and welcome. I am so glad you were smart enough to not get baptized. I think you will do very well in life, you seem very intelligent and mature. After growing up a gay JW and successfully managing to get out of the cult, you are probably up for any challenge.
Hi,
I'm also gay, born in and never baptised left on my 21st birthday and about to have my 10th anniversary with my partner in Jan.
It does get better. My teenage years like most gay JW kids was hell. It was such a relief to get out into the real world.
There is a gayexjw support group on Facebook with over 500 members here. http://www.facebook.com/groups/37475079005/
and also A Common Bond http://www.gayxjw.org/
Brad
HILLCOUNTRY- So nice to have you here on the board ! We accept you unconditionally with love and respect. You are among friends here, many of us who have exited the Witness organization. We will be here for you buddy. Hang in there. Peace out, mr. Flipper
Hill Country - you go with your heart. Get your education -live your life....what's real is now and right before you - and you are young and full of potential. Love your family - give them all you got - but be true to yourself!!! You are a survivor and can accomplish so much and find your niche! Sounds to me like you are well on your way! Best!!!
Thanks for your story. Please get some counseling for being raised a jw and to reconcile yourself with your sexual orientation. You deserve to experience romantic love and a satisfying sex life. You also have the right to a commited relationship despite whatever your family's reaction may be.
