As a Watchtower Reader on Sunday, did you ever have to use the bathroom?

by sd-7 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    I just had a dream last night that I was Watchtower Reader again on a Sunday. It was weird because the color scheme seemed like a zombie-green. My old COBOE was conducting the study and he seemed like kind of a jerk. I remember him as being ex-military and the type that just follows orders and thinks that following orders is the best thing in the world to do and can't understand why people don't follow orders. I suppose the last conversation I had with him was to tell him I was getting married. His first question was whether the woman was 'in the truth'. His second statement was that he wanted to 'meet' with me. I'm guessing my mom or someone ratted me out that I was staying out all night with the woman who is now of course my wife of 3 years, as many here are aware. So probably that meeting would've been a prelude to a committee had I bothered to do it. Irrelevant now.

    The dream of me as WT Reader reminded me of a dilemma I can recall facing--having to go to the bathroom. Pretty much, you needed to get that out of the way during the song at worst and hurry up to the platform so the conductor doesn't freak out and try to find someone else who can read (and we all know how hard it is to find TWO men who can read out of a congregation of 100 )... I can remember hurrying off the platform once the reading was done, if I really had to go. But it's kind of crazy that we basically just engaged in reading comprehension and somehow this was a better education than everyone else on the planet was getting. Chop up the scriptures and put 'em in a paragraph, throw some questions in and you've got scripture salad. "John was a duck." Question 1. What was John? Uh, yes, let's get little Brother Davis. [Sound of mike being passed, child's breathing into mike] "A duck." Very good! Let's move on--oh, wait, Sister Douglas? "And we see here, uh," [she sits up and you hear the ruffling of the magazine] "that John was a--a duck. And uh, we see how this benefits us today because uh, God created ducks so we could um, enjoy their beauty along with the rest of creation."

    Okay, enough of that...original question. Readers, did you have to go potty while you were on the stage? How did you handle it?

    --sd-7

  • DATA-DOG
    DATA-DOG

    I just wore adult diapers.

  • Christ Alone
    Christ Alone

    Christ Alone

    I don't remember that.

    ...but

    Did anyone carry mics and have to get up while they had a....you know...guy issue?

    You can always tell by the funny crouched over walk of the guy running back to grab the mic.

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    Hmm. Well, I'd just button my suit jacket if I was experiencing a normal sexual arousal. Such feelings would no doubt subside as I dwelt on spiritual things and not those spectacular legs crossed right there, in front of me.

    --sd-7

  • unstopableravens
    unstopableravens

    i had to take a crap during a public talk that was bad instead of reading all the verse i quoted some, im sure it could have been worse.

  • ÁrbolesdeArabia
    ÁrbolesdeArabia

    We had old 80 years run and sit on the toilet during the reading with wireless microphones! You could hear the "plop. poof-boom, bamm bamm of things pouring into the toilet!". Nothing like hearing the plumbing of a brother using the urinal over the microphone, funny as the Hall hears the pee streaming out in spurts! LOL!

  • Mr. Falcon
    Mr. Falcon

    I sported a chub one time when i was giving the Sunday talk. No, I'm lying.

  • Dune
    Dune

    I managed to stay "focused" when i was on watchtower duty.

    But All bets were off when i was doing microphones and often had to stand over and down on a few sisters with ample assets :-).

  • blondie
    blondie

    Never!

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    Trees: That is hilarious. I would have run out of there with my hands on my face

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