Venting some rage and pain. (page 3)

ziddina

It's okay... Go ahead and vent...

My father was similar. One of my JW friends told me when I was a teen that she thought my dad was "so nice!" I stared at her in astonishment; he might have fooled HER, but I was the one being hit, kicked, slapped and insulted - even knocked out at one point - by that vicious man posing as a "loving Christian".

Actually, if your father is anywhere as nasty as mine was, it might be a GOOD thing that he won't have anything to do with your children - it protects them from being indoctrinated into the cult by "grandpa"...

Hortensia

Ziddina, I have had similar experiences. After I was definitely out of the org I would visit my mother regularly to see what she needed and help her a bit. Any JWs who were around would give me meaningful looks and say, "you know, your mother is a wonderful person." I used to look at them and think, "you try living with her. You wouldn't feel the same about her." I never said anything, though. What's the point?

One of the things JWs don't get is that if you teach people that it is OK NOT to love, for whatever reason, you run the risk of them not loving you. Many children who grew up with conditional love from JW parents find themselves feeling detached from those parents. That JW mindset comes back to bite them in the ass.

My sisters and I, all no longer JWs, took care of our mother before she died, in the sense that we visited, called regularly and showed up when she and her husband asked for help. But we all felt detached from her emotionally, and weren't all that stricken when she died. That's sad, isn't it?

jamiebowers

Jemba, I hope you take these observations in the spirit in which they are given. First, why do you want a relationship with your parents? They are the ones who threw you to the wolves to be beaten and raped and surrounded by drug addicts and prostitutes! Even more astonishing, you want your kids to have a relationship with their grandparents. I'd venture to say that your parents aren't any better than your pedophile in-laws.

Instead of thinking as your father's child, think as a mother to your children. What would you do to keep your children from drug addicts and prostitutes? I suspect you would move heaven and earth to do so. Your parents certainly didn't do that for you. It's quite possible that you blame yourself for what happened to you as a young adult. Once you put the blame where it belongs, you'll probably want you and your kids to be as far away from your parents as possible, which is where you should be.

There are elderly people out there who feel the same void that you do. Find one or two, and take care of each other.

whathappened

Isn't it a travesty? These people think they are so loving, but they don't know the first thing about it. They allow the Watchtower Society to tell them how to feel, what to think, what to say, who they can talk to, who they should love.

I feel for you, but it seems like you did ok for yourself as you have a husband you love and who is good to you. Your kids are better off, under the circumstances, without these cult members in their lives, I'm sad to say.

mrsjones5

" But we all felt detached from her emotionally, and weren't all that stricken when she died. That's sad, isn't it?"

Oh you guys are speaking my mind. I was just talking to my husband a couple of weeks ago about how emotionally detached I feel towards my parents. My mother told me that she hasn't been feeling well and has been recently told by her doctor that she is diabetic and my father had a heart episode during a procedure to remove some precancerous polyps from his colon. I was mildly concerned but other than that I felt nothing and I don't feel guiltily about it after all the crappy things my parents ave done to me, my husband, and my kids. I think what I will feel when they drop dead is relief. Sad.

ShirleyW

Jonesie I hear you 100 percent and both my parents are gone and the feeling hasn't changed at all.

mamochan13

been there. FEel for you.

Venting some rage and pain.