dear New Chapter...
you said: "Nobody can ever judge the pureness of your motives for serving this god, not even you, because of the terror that is held over your head if you should refuse to do so."...
I'm not sure where you get the idea that terror is held over my head. I chose to turn to Jesus Christ for salvation because I know that I can't change who I really am and I don't suppose that others can change who they really are either. starting in the garden man has stood in opposition to God and its been man vs man right out the gate. God is going to change my nature to a reflection of Jesus Christ and save me from those who want my blood, I can't discern terror from God in that.
When the crowds shouted "crucify Him!" they were not sparing their nature (man vs. man) but God in His wisdom turned the tables on them by using their nature to both unite man to man (for those who would believe in Jesus Christ) and simultaneously bring those who would believe into union with God. "It is finished!"
you've recorded the fact that my preaching salvation in Jesus Christ isn't for my benefit (neither was it benefitting the first christians who were actually persecuted for their witness)...it is done for the benefit of those who would believe the gospel message and turn to Him as well. Now, no one is forcing you to turn to Jesus Christ for salvation but you've got to understand that once the last believer departs the Holy Spirit departs as well (2 thess. 2:7)...the world is going to get really ugly (man vs. man but for those who are united in opposition to God)...and then having rejected salvation in Jesus Christ (your flesh and spirit...wholeness)...you will be left with those spirits (fallen angels) who have chosen to work in opposition to God (jude 6-7)...You will be left OUTSIDE the new jerusalem.
I'm not threatening you with hell or condemning you to hell. I'm advising you (someone who has heard the gospel) to please turn to Jesus Christ for salvation because I am persuaded that to your benefit that is the best of your two options as recorded in scripture.
love michelle