by Aussie Oz 22 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
I keep a specially - made box in my front entrance. my coffin. loosely patterned after the last pope's. Why would I do that?. it send visiting jw a shocking message: and swallow hard.
I have come to peace with my not out- living the overlapping 2078 generation. also: the skilled in my family always had a ready-made, hand-made coffin stored away. blessings.
By the time I left, I knew I did not want to live eternally if the WTS was in charge.
Someday never comes. The unfortunate narrative of my life.
Prologos, you must have a big hallway! Doesn't a coffin take up a lot of room, or is it a miniature?
I was a witness in the middle of my life so I was going to die then maybe not and now back to dying again. i have no idea what we are or what's going on here i'm in some strange place mentally right now just living each day out of morbid curiosity i guess. I feel like we humans had a puzzle box with a picture and now we've found alot of pieces that don't fit the picture on the box and we have to decide what were going to do about it.
I pretty much already expected to die at Armageddon from my teenage years onward, because I felt I was falling short of being a good JW. During that time I developed a fatalistic attitude where living another day seemed pointless and I would sometimes pray for death. Now that I am a nonbeliever and realize that God never heard any of my prayers, pious or otherwise, to begin with, my life has been placed back in my hands (well, as much as any of us are in control of ourselves) like an unexpected gift. Thus, I actually have more future to look forward to now than I did when I believed I was probably going to be dead by 30 or 40. My only challenge at this point is shaking off my fatalistic mentality. It will probably take me a few years to move on mentally from the mindset I had as a JW and properly enjoy life.
AO:
I am not sure I totally bought the teaching of living forever and took it with a grain of salt. It did made for a pleasant mental exercise when in a daydreaming mood, however.
I missed Halley's Comet too. But, I did see the Hale-Bopp Comet in the late '90s.
Just as a funny side note: I was in one of those dollar stores soon after Halley's Comet and one of the things being sold was some sort of leftover boxed (game) or something or other to help see the comet in the sky. I laughed to myself because I knew the comet would next make its appearance in somebody else's lifetime.
I always thought that I would die at Armageddon, even when I was really young- somehow I was just not good enough to make it. So I did a lot of really crazy things- just living for the day. Ultimately though, I was just as brainwasahed as if I'd never left the KH.
(((Trans)))
I hear ya Aussie....there is also realization that come with not believing in an afterlife...it hits you out of the blue, but then settles into reality and becomes what it is.
Didn`t we all ?..... but then again maybe we will .....according to some .....just kidding .
smiddy
