by SkyGreen 11 Replies latest jw experiences
Hello everyone, i used to be Notreadytorun, forgot password, see recent posts for boring story...
Board moderators, please accept my sincere apologies, I am truly repentant and aim to be a more active member of jwnet. Please dont disfellowship me!!!
Seriously, I look forward to contributing to all the interesting threads Ive been readung recently. Look forward to feeling less alone.
Love to all
Welcome back! No need to be alone with this wonderful forum.
Loz x
Welcome back.
Bangalore
This site is a life saver and here you are not a lone - we all just get it. Get what it's like to be an ex.
Welcome home
Thankyou for your lovely welcomes!
A little of my story.... I have had some unpleasant treatment by elders (not judicial, just supposed "loving counsel" and "shepherding" for my husband and i) but otherwise i havent suffered terribly like some on this board have. I fully believe in not leaving "the truth" because of individuals bad behavior. I think whether it had been the truth or not, there are a large number of people who dont act the way they are supposed to according to the WT, and that is on them, not the organisation.
That being said, the unkindness of a large number of elders made me question the whole "appointed by holy spirit" thing about a year or so ago, and so articles in the WT about "loving shepherds" made me gag. It upset me so much that those in responsible positions were not acting like this.
For I while, (as I said i was notreadytorun before) I did some digging, read crisis of conscience, researched the 607 stuff, some of the other rules by the WTS that are not firmly based in scripture, the history of fails. Made me lose complete faith in this organisation.
Because of having all my closest family "in", I spoke to my husband and parents about my concerns, and they were all non judgemental and very helpful to be honest, however my parents are still hard core "its still the truth", I think my hubby has doubts.
I eventually decided a few months ago to just stay in, it felt safe and familiar and I didnt want to rock the boat.
My hubby and I did eventually move congregations, and we had a lovely visit from the elders, they were kind and understanding of some of the difficulties we had faced (wont go into detail, might identify me) so i thought, this is how its supposed to be. I have made good new friends. But my doubts about whether this is the truth or not wouldnt go away.
I am grateful for my good moral upbringing, with the kind of personality I am, I believe the structure has been the best thing for me. However in the last year or so there is so much that just doesnt "sit right"with me. Here are a couple off the top of my head (no particular order)
Birthdays - I want to celebrate them, especially my kids! not enough reason not to!
Blood transfusions - if I need one, if my children need one, we'll get them!! there is not a clear scriptual reason not to - ignorning all the supposed evidence in the Hebrew scrips, since WE ARE NOT UNDER THE MOSAIC LAW PEOPLE, there is only the one scripture in Acts, which could be referring to eating blood as food, or could mean refraining from taking life. We just dont know for sure. Why risk life.
Something that really annoys me recently. WTS over complicating applications of scripture - just a waste of time... for instance recent KM article about bearing fruit, (in jesus illustration he was talking about wheat, the fruit it bears is MORE SEED, so dont be discouraged if you havent got a bible study etc etc, we are bearing fruit just by sowing seed) it cracked me up so much, they are getting desperate.
Also they missapply things, even if the lesson they draw from it is correct, they use scriptures or bible examples that are unrelated. ie at recent convention, they used Abigail as an example for christian wives.... um she called her husband a fool, he ended up dead, she became one of the kings wives. Wierd.
I could go on but so much already been discussed here in other threads, so no need to go on.
I know its not "the truth" and it is really heartbreaking to lose all faith - hence the depression. If God is really there, and actually cares, why no update on the bible in centuries! why not fix s**t NOW! People dont need TIME TO REPENT, they need PROOF HE IS THERE, and RELIEF FROM SUFFERING. I said in the "cosmic pain meter" thread that Id rather be an athiest.
I know I can be inactive (no ministry, odd meeting) without my family or friends shunning me or bothering me too much. And I need to give my husband time to wake up. Not sure I'll ever be DF or DA, but we'll see.
vent over for now. Ill contribute here where I can, but Im a busy girl! Sometimes its easier not to think about things too deeply, just cruise day to day.
Love you all, everyone have a great day please!
Sky
SKYGREEN- It's nice to have you back here ! It sounds like you are really opening your mind to researching about the WT organization and believe me, the more you research, the more nauseous you get. Good for you ! Keep researching ! Like yourself I stopped attending meetings due to unjust treatment I received by elders as well as seeing others receive unjust treatment. In the 9 years since I stopped atteding meetings ( as just inactive, not DFed ) I have educated myself about the destructive tactics of mind control, or high control organizations like Scientology, Mormon's and yes, Jehovah's Witnesses. They are all similar in that there is NO way to exit those organizations of your own free will without suffering negative repercussions from friends, family and others still in the organization.
You stated something that's interesting , that, " there are a large number of people who don't act the way they are supposed to according to the WT , and that is on them, NOT the organization. " That is true to an extent, but not absolutely. Sure many of us knew or know JW's who skirted the WT Society rules without impunity or receiving alleged " discipline " for their actions. However- that being said - the WT organization total mindset and system is based on blind obedience to the alleged " faithful slave " even IF the instructions handed down to elders or JW's are illegal, unethical, or inhumane. And EVERY JW is expected to follow those instructions and be willing to walk off a cliff in obedience- if necessary.
And THAT is where your research will keep informing you that the WT Society is unethical from the top down in illegal instructions given to elders about not reporting child abuse in order to protect the legal and financial backside of the WT Society. And if you've read " Crisis of Conscience " you'll already have read of these unethical practices that go on in the Governing Body. So, true, JW's do bring on trouble to themselves but the WT Society makes it so difficult and tightly restricted- that ANY JW could look crooked at an elder and get DFed, repoved, or suffer SOME negative treatment. I came to discover that the JW's are one of the most paranoid organizations around . It's hard to be yourself without fear somebody will rat you out to elders for even doubting !
So, we are glad you are here ! Keep reading, keep informing yourself. We are here for you as a support system if you ever need it, remember our friendship is unconditional . Glad to help in any way possible. Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
Welcome back sky
Flipper, hi and thankyou for the insights, yes I find the handling of child abuse matters and paedophilia- to put it very lightly - disgusting. And I agree there is a balance between individuals acting alone, and individuals acting a certain way because of the WTS.
Smiddy! I used to be a QLDer! enjoying the 1st day of summer there? PM me if you're happy to chat about what cong you associated with and vice versa, would be interesting.
SkyGreen, welcome! Look forward to more of your comments.
