Is it ethical to confess extramarital sex to your spouse

by Most Noble 67 Replies latest jw friends

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  Most Noble

  Durex's Global Sex Survey has found that 44% of adults worldwide have had one-night extramarital sex and 22% have had an affair. According to a 2004 United States survey, 16% of married partners have had extramarital sex, nearly twice as many men as women, while an additional 30% have fantasized about extramarital sex. There were also studies that have shown rates of extramarital sex as low as 2.5%. As many authors conclude, these kinds of estimates are probably understated because extramarital sex is commonly disapproved.

  WHat do you think is it ethical to confess an extramarital affair?
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  Rob Crompton

  There is something a bit odd about those figures:

  "16% of married partners have had extramarital sex, nearly twice as many men as women"

  So who are these guys doing it with? Either, married women having sex outside marriage have twice as many partners as the men, or the married men's partners are single women.

  But in the latter case, that means the number sexually active single males is supplemented by unfaithful married males in order to provide partners for the single women.

  Either way it looks like the sexually active women are more promiscuous then the men.

  Or women keep quiet and do not answer surveys accurately. Or men brag.
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  leavingwt

  Most Noble: Are you 'mankelli' the poster who was banned?
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  unstopableravens

  there is nothing ethical about cheating, so any cover up or silence would also be unethical. what is the point of such a question, it is as common sense as you can get. these are the issues that the bible puts to rest! and yet we(believers are crazy) lol
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  jgnat

  I follow two principles. The first is "do no harm" and the other is "reverence for life". unstopable, these themes can also be found in the bible. In the case of an extramarital affair, the ethical thing to do is to test for any STD. If you test positive, you would have to tell your partner. Otherwise, ask yourself in the telling are you doing it to make yourself feel better? What sort of impact will it have on your partner? You do not want to cause years of pain, say, over a one-night stand.
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  jgnat

  A New Generation of Adults Bends Moral and Sexual Rules - Barna
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  unstopableravens

  i agree jgnat: my point was theres no way that covering up or keeping quite is ethical ,yes i do believe that a born again christian can make a mistake and hook up with someone but he will also be truly repentent and tell his/her mate!
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  jgnat

  How about being truly repentant, confessing all to God, resolving never to do again, working doubly hard with his mate, and shutting up about it! Have you read the accounts of betrayed spouses, and the years of mistrust and pain that come with the confession?
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  Most Noble

  jgnat- Good point jgnat. There is even a non-profit making movement, encouraging the traitor to keep their mouths shut, confess to God and work towards fixing their marriage, To avoid all the pains and hullabaloo that usually comes with confessing to the spouse.
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  Cagefighter

  i dont think it is so black and white. for me it would depend on my partners expectations and my intentions. if my partner has little need or expectation for fidelity and i have no intention to quit cheating then gtelling her would be pretty disrespectful and rubbing it in her face.