Cognac... you have two daughters? Don't you dare teach them to compromise their happiness for a SH$*#head... not even their sperm donor is worth the rest of their lives stuck in a false understanding like that.
I remember my ex throwing my belongings (and a few of my daughter's) from a second story window of our rented townhome. She and I slept in the car for a couple of days before I drove 300 miles back to my parent's home for good. Yes, he was cheating. It was horrible. I went to group counseling (with other women) and learned a lot.
One piece I will never forget.... we were asked if we knew why women stay with men who treat them badly. The answer: Because at least they knew what to expect on a daily basis. Leaving means entering into the unknown zone.
You will find strength - maybe now is not the time - but when the tipping point comes, you'll know. Also, know that you will second guess yourself during the process and if you decide to go through with a divorce know this, you can always remarry the SOB, and he'll know you're not scared to let him go if disrespected!