I Think My Marriage Is Over...

by cognac 135 Replies latest jw friends

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    Cognac>>>>>

    "I don't want to break up the marriage".

    Girl...You are not the one playing around.

    Your sweet children, 1 and 3, of course deserve the Best Daddy in the world. Their very own Daddy would be the best, if he were the best. :frowning:

    All of us females can thank our theocratic brothers for informing us that ALL guys wank. I did not know that. Wanking = OK. Emailing/flirting with females while married = NOT OK.

    I will be thinking of you. (Holding hand over internet) It is so unfair. Most normal guys would love to have a young wife and family, whether of the same religious persuasion, or not.

    Try to be a pillar when around your chilldren. Be strong young (former) sister. You are not alone. We are here for you.

    Just Lois

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  • GLTirebiter
    GLTirebiter

    I'm sorry to hear this, Cognac. If you're going to counseling and still can't patch it up, there is not much else you can do. Carefully consider what is best for your children (it sounds like you're already doing this), then choose accordingly.

    He thinks I'm going to die at the big A and wants to be with someone he can live forever with...

    You could point out that his on-line behavior means he's toast at the Big A himself:

    Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers... [1 Corinithians 6:9]

    But I say to you, that whosoever shall look on a woman to lust after her, hath already committed adultery with her in his heart. [Matthew 5:28]

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  • whathappened
    whathappened

    I feel for you and your babies. What a sad situation. If you want to save the marriage, you have to act fast before he gets in too deep with this other gal.

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  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Sad news. I remember when you first came here, a few yrs ago, you and your husband were having problems then. So, it's not really a new issue. Maybe, just new symptoms.

    S

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  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    I'm sorry to hear this. The fact that 2 little kids are also involved is heartbreaking...

    I've gone to counseling. All hey do is listen to you. They never really offer me any advice or anything...

    It's not their job to give advice. After all, what if they offered you advice and you followed it, and it didn't work? It would be easy to blame the counsellor for giving the wrong advice. That's why they can't offer advice. All they can do is assist you as you work out what it is that will work for you.

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  • Kudra
    Kudra

    You said that your counselor only listens - go to another one, and then another one until you find one that clicks with YOU. This is recommended by many people, including therapists.

    Counseling is good. It helped me when I was in marriage counseling and motivated my (former) husband and I to actively do something with the relationship instead of letting it stagnate like it was.

    Documenting stuff is good too, or later you may think you are going nuts when he denies something you are positive he said/did.

    Best of luck to you!!!

    -K

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  • AGuest
    AGuest

    Peace, dear Cognac. Truly.

    A slave of Christ,

    SA

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  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Very sad and tough situation. Sorry you are having to deal with this and your children, too.

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  • ABibleStudent
    ABibleStudent

    Hi ((((((cognac))))))), Your husband has issues that may not be 100% attributable to the WTBTS and its damaging influences.

    Is your husband's FB friend a JW? If not, why would your husband feel that she will survive the WTBTS's big A and live forever with him? If your husband refuses to go with you to a therapist, your husband may have deeper emotional issues than you can reasonably resolve with him even if he was a non-JW.

    I would recommend visiting Harvill Hendrix's website to locate a Imago councilor near you or reading his book "Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples". A former JW friend recommend that I read that book and I did think it was very good. Unfortunately, I could not get her to read Steve Hassan's books.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

    Robert

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  • bohm
    bohm

    Begin to run a journal and document everything.

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