Ironically "My Sweet Lord" by George Harrison is playing right now...

by noonehome 20 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Hortensia

  Welcome, dear. You're going through a process. It takes time. Your mind will settle down eventually and you'll choose what is best for you. My advice in the meantime: keep up with your education. Move to another town someday, distance can give you a lot of perspective. Don't abandon your atheist friend, who has lost his family and friends now. Take your time.

  JWs will definitely use whatever pressure they can to make you toe the line. Don't let them run your life for you. That was the mistake I made. I didn't get out until I was older, and I'm sorry now I didn't have the insight and guts to do it earlier.
• 

  EmptyInside

  You seem like a sensitive and caring person. It takes time to figure these important issues out. I'm happy for your sake that you started your journey at a young age.

  I know you care for your Witness family and friends,that's commendable. But,life is too short to live it for someone else. It's not selfish to live your life authentically and to be happy.

  Take it from someone who has lived half her life trying make other people happy,all the while being miserable. It is so freeing to finally able to be yourself.

  Welcome to the board.
• 

  rip van winkle

  noonehome-((( Welcome!!)))

  Do I need a lobotomy? Absolutely not.

  What's a good job? Something you absolutely love doing and can earn a living.

  Could a bird be tickled by a feather??? Absolutely YES!
• 

  Finkelstein

  noonehome

  I and probably many here on this forum know exactly how you feel about many of the close friends and associates one becomes

  attached to at the Kingdom Halls. There are undeniably some very good hearted well intentioned people to be found within this organization.

  The problem isn't really the people, its the organization thats the problem and how it treats, manipulates and to a extent exploits them

  that is the problem.
• 

  noonehome

  Damn, sorry breakfast, that wasn't my intention! But it certainly is comforting to know there are ones out there who I can relate and uncensor myself with. I do have a close friend who is out, like I mentioned, and he is a great support.

  Couldn't have put it any better Finkelstein. It certainly is a hard pill to swallow, but I really appreciate you helping me face the facts.

  I'm glad people understand that I'm not feeling rebellious like most of the youth who leave simply because they want to experience 'the world'. Of course there are things that I would like the freedom to experience, but the cost is too high. If or when I leave, it will be because I know exactly why, and exactly what I'm doing. I'm interested in truth, whatever that is. Yes the facts certainly speak for themselves, no matter how difficult they are to accept. And I feel like things are gonna get allot worse before they get any better, but for now, I don't have any choice but to stick with it.

  One day I hope to look back at this time in my life...and, well, can't really finish that sentence...the right decision is so subjective, and each one filled with huge sacrifices and endings. I guess just that I'll be happy, somewhere, at sometime. I think that must be the 'why' of why we live.
• 

  TMS

  noonhome,

  You seem similar to a sensitive, articulate JWs I have known. What would complicate your life is to marry within the cult, adding unnecessary pain and heartbreak to your life if you eventually need to break totally free from your inherited belief system.

  Your mother and some of your close friends in the religion seem to be way above the curve in terms of humanity and tolerance. Unfortunately, there are some real assholes among Jehovah's Witnesses, especially in the leadership, local, travelling and corporate. A few more of those sprinkled in your life, might have made your eventual decision easier.

  tms

  BTW, my son wore out my George Harrison 3 record set, playing it on his bedroom record player when he was in high school. He is now 41 and just now getting his post-JW life together.
• 

  noonehome

  TMS I realize marrying within would probably be unethical based on my lack of belief. However, I find myself not attracted to the girls elsewhere. Physically maybe, but nowhere else have I met girls as mature and caring and who use their head (could use it just a tad more and that'd be great...) as much as within the cult. Maybe I'm just too sheltered or maybe 20 year old girls in the 'world' just aren't there yet. They just seem so much more superficial. At any rate, as you can imagine for a young buckeroo my age, I think about girls allot, and I guess you're most comfortable with what you're familiar with.
• 

  Finkelstein

  but nowhere else have I met girls as mature and caring and who use their head (could use it just a tad more and that'd be great...) as much as within the cult.

  That might be because those girls are the only ones your forced to become your chosen partners in this designated environment.

  There are girls of this nature outside of the JW organization you just have to look and place yourself outside, some have

  a connection with a religious organization, some don't.

  In other words don't look for a label on people's heads (JW) look at the heart and soul to see whats there.
• 

  BluesBrother

  Welcome Noonehome..... I understand your dilemma, in fact many of us have been where you are now. Discovering your truths is a gradual process and a journey through various stages. I was 50 and married to a zealous Witness (still am ) and it was difficult to be myself without ruining homelife.

  My only thoughts are that life will take its course. As time goes on things will become clearer, perhaps situations will force the issue . Take it one step at a time .
• 

  Adiva

  Hi Noonehome and Welcome.

  I read your entire post and can definitly relate to your situation. I was you many years ago. However, if you do decide to leave, please know that it gets better over time. You start to live a 'real' life without the carrot of the new system. That is a complete lie.

  Get your education and continue to develop your critical thinking skills. Make new friends outside of the organization; really there are great people out there . . . a lot of assholes too but there are people worth knowing. Don't let the society suck the life out of you. You've got decades ahead of you. Enjoy them without the confines of the watchtower society.

  Adiva