JWs say it's my fault I didn't go to university ?!

by ekruks 51 Replies latest watchtower scandals

• 

  problemaddict

  Well ok lets think about this.

  Yes they discourage higher education to no limit. It is pretty sick.

  BUT.......your friend was right. I mean you did chose not to go to college. Their influence cannot be denied, but YOU made the choice not to go.

  The only reason I'm even bringing this up, is because sometimes taking responsabiltiy for your actions, even if bullied into it, is a serious step to healing. This persons ignorance notwithstanding, it simply just doesn't matter. You are where you are because of decisions you have made. Now you are making different ones, and life is good! Don't let things that have already happened, impact you now. Know what I mean?
• 

  clarity

  Ek...

  Maddening isn't it!

  >

  The witness mind automatically goes to the default setting,

  which says * watchtower is never wrong - it is all YOUR fault!

  No matter what.

  c
• 

  ekruks

  I know I made a decision, but I made it under incredible duress/pressure, and with very limited facts, being ignorant, brought up in the Truth. I didn't even know what an 'undergraduate' was, or how much more people with degrees earn. If we had been encouraged to study when younger, who knows where people on this forum might be today. I'll make the best of the mess I'm in, and study, and improve my life, but it's like I stated a marathon an hour late.
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  mamochan13

  Ekruks - from reading your OP, I understand you are attending college now. That`s wonderful. I did the same thing years after I got out of the religion. I tried once to tell my mother how much it bothered me that I had been unable to go to university when I was still young, right out of high school. Her response was that it was my choice to go pioneering. She completely overlooked the pressure I had been under to quit school. She completely supported devaluing education, never once suggesting I should perhaps at least complete high school. She mocked my cousin who always strived for top marks and who went to university and is now a respected high school principal. She spoke disparagingly about one elder in our hall who let his son go to college (2-year degree). When my dad dared to suggest I could go to university and pioneer at the same time she shot him down. He didn`t fight back, either. It might have been my decision, but at the time I did not feel like I had any other options but go pioneering.

  Just wanted to comment on the JW fallacy about college being a hotbed of immorality and drunkenness. That is so far from the truth it isn`t even funny. I was involved in my student union, and the vast majority of the students I encountered were hard working, dedicated to studying and earning their degrees. They rarely even partied. In their spare time they volunteered or got involved in activist causes to help make the world a better place.
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  ruderedhead

  They don't even make sense, do they, ekruks? So full of crap! Jw's talk in circles, making sense only to themselves. Bullying is a strong tool they use, then say it was your choice. It was used on my oldest son by his peers at the hall, who started shunning him when he went to the university. If he saw them out, they would let him know he was not welcome to join them. They make it very unpleasant, but it made him see them for what they were. All the best as you continue your education!
• 

  Chaserious

  I mean you did chose not to go to college. Their influence cannot be denied, but YOU made the choice not to go.

  I tend to take this view of things in my own case as well. I think it's a shame that they hound people decade after decade about not trying to advance in this "dying system," but we all make our choices. I began pioneering when I was 19. I was a mentally competent adult, able to make my own choices in life. Although there is a lot of indoctrination, it was my choice. Sure, it was a waste of thousands of hours of my life that I'd love to have back, but I don't feel that the WTS owes me for my hours or anything like that.

  There were a number of others kids in my area who started disappearing from the KH around the time they were 18. Some went to college, some did other things, and I regret not leaving at that age, but ultimately it was my choice, even if a poor one, and even if I was trying to please my parents and other people. I feel like in many cases, the parents are to blame as much as the WTS... maybe not on an issue like blood that is a DF offense, but on issues like education the parent has to have a role in motivating good career choices, since many teenagers aren't inclined to do it themselves. I knew other non-JW kids from my neighborhood who didn't pursue a worthwhile career, not because of being in a cult but because the parents just didn't do their job in encouraging it.
• 

  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  I had a similar exchange with my mother, but I aimed my responses in a very different direction. I don't argue, I agree and draw inconvenient conclusion for them. Such as:

  JW - It's your fault, you didn't need to pioneer, you chose to, but could have been like other brothers who don't [put the Kingdom first]
  
  Me - You are so right. I was a stupid and gullible child to believe their promises that the world was so soon to end in the 80s, because of their generation prophecy that has long expired.

  JW - You have to use common sense! Don't just do what you are told.

  Me - Maybe if Watchtower, the COs, and the assemblies would have put more emphasis on "common sense" and less on obedience, I might have thought more clearly and would have made better decisions that I don't regret today. Now I've finally learned not to just do what I'm told.

  JW - You made the problem for your self by taking what people say too seriously.

  Me - And that's a problem I don't intend to repeat. I have come to realize that the advice I've followed in the past is nothing but a big joke. I take nothing from WT publications or platforms seriously. It's very clear that anything written or said today can very quickly become old light in next month's WT study article. How can it be taken seriously anymore?

  JW - No one said you can't go to university.

  Me - You weren't there when I had my first bethel interview. The bethel heavy I spoke to told me that college was a waste of time since the end was so close and that my attending college would call my father's qualifications as an elder into question. How often I've wished that I could go back to that moment and get the counsel you're giving me now. He was just a foolish old man pressuring me into a course that would lead to disappointment, unhappiness, and free service to WT corporation. Now I've well outgrown the authority of my dad and the guy from that bethel interview is dead by now, so it's a fine time for me to go to university. I appreciate this encouragement you've given me to continue my studies and not look back at the mistakes of the past. You're so right that I wasted decades mindlessly believing things that I shouldn't have taken seriously. And I highly encourage [insert name of local JW teen here] to take education seriously and consider going to university.
• 

  problemaddict

  I know I made a decision, but I made it under incredible duress/pressure, and with very limited facts, being ignorant, brought up in the Truth. I didn't even know what an 'undergraduate' was, or how much more people with degrees earn. If we had been encouraged to study when younger, who knows where people on this forum might be today. I'll make the best of the mess I'm in, and study, and improve my life, but it's like I stated a marathon an hour late.

  Hey E,

  I hope my words didn't come of as offensive. I 100% understand where you are coming from. I have no degree, but do pretty well. Others have degrees and don't. So much of it is about you and what you do. i am not suggesting you weren't hobbled b y a belief system you now do not agree with, and i applud your decision to do something you want to do now. I am merely suggesting that adopting the attitude that you are always responsible for your own decisions as an adult, is the way to heal from being at the tit of a group of people that teach you the opposite. You can't take that mentality and give it a starting point. It has to be adopted universally, which means YOU decided not to go to college. the reasons are irrelevant. NOW YOU decided to go to school because you want to. Regret is meaningless and a waste of energy.

  Whatever people did to you then, con't hurt you today, without you making the decision for it to hurt you. This is because time only moves forward. Its like if your car gets broken into. It happens. It sucks. But if you live in fear of your car being broken into, you are letting something that already happened (not currently happening), affect you today and every day. i am suggesting to look at time as a filter. Only you can create import for things that are not currently happening to you.
• 

  jgnat

  I'd be tempted to tell the busybody they are right. I should have used my common sense to walk right out of the Kingdom Hall.
• 

  blondie

  We never said the end would come in 1914, 1925, 1975.

  We never said you had to stay single because the end is so close.

  We never said you couldn't have children because the end is so close.

  We never said to sell your homes and pioneer because the end is so close.

  We never said to quit your job and pioneer because the end is so close.