I was excited. I had something to say, and I thought/hoped it would make a difference in how some saw God.
I wasn't worried anymore about the wts when I discovered this site. Jwfacts helped a lot with that.
Peace,
tammy
by cognac 41 Replies latest jw friends
I was excited. I had something to say, and I thought/hoped it would make a difference in how some saw God.
I wasn't worried anymore about the wts when I discovered this site. Jwfacts helped a lot with that.
Peace,
tammy
I found this site while looking for something else entirely. I had been out for years, had no fear. It was fun to read the threads and of course, opinionated as I am, I jumped right in.
I had a typical fight or flight reaction, cold sweat, raised blood pressure. But in the end I knew I had to come here. I had to test my beliefs to see whether they were fireproof. The pursuit of truth was always important to me.
I had to gather up the courage but felt no guilt and have had none since because I KNOW it's not the truth and I KNOW it is a cult made up of men making nit picky rules who have no hold over me anymore. I don't post very frequently but this forum has helped me see so many different perspectives. Sometimes I am surprised at some people's views but mostly I find the support and candor refreshing.
I was secretly reading on E watchman and there was a link to JWD. At that time E watchman was still a Witness so I didnt feel guilty about reading his stuff but i debated about going to that link... I was very, very nervous but finally hit the enter and after reading for months made my first post.. I called it baby steps.. Thank God for that day!!
wish I was here 12 years ago!
It was mentally hard to post here
I was normal nervous. When I was in high school, I wrote for help from a fashion mag. They sent me back a letter stating my father was wrong (even tho he was my father and the Ten Commandments existed). I was supposed to call a specific number of a social welfare agency to get one on one pro'l help. I walked about 30 blocks to a pay phone with the letter. I dialed the number and hung up before the call went through. My heart was pounding. Altho I had serious doubts about the Witnesses, they were all I knew.
I thought the agency would be like my teachers.
After trying six times, I crumpled up the paper and hid it in my room. My mom found it snooping. It was the start of actual concrete help. The professionals all said they never heard such stuff as when my mom explained why she could not turn to clergy. They encouraged me to go to college and even wrote some of my essays.
The physicality of the fear amazed me. Its existence should be proof indeed that you are in a cult. I feel posting here as an active Witness is a very courageous act. It is easy to dismiss the fear after you are out a while.
I just felt compelled to, in the presence of so many like minded people. I wasn't nervous or worried, in fact I was concerned as I couldn't log in for 24 hours after signing up and thought I wasn't going to be 'accepted'.
I was nervous. I never did an introductory thread. I came in the side door, while everybody was busy.
S