Hello all, I am new here

mbst

I have been reading all the stuff I see on this place for a while. I am a jehovahs witness in good standing in my congregation. I just need to come on in here and ask for a little advice from anyone who might know what I am feeling. There is this girl, who I have been seeing for sometime, she means everything to me. I know in her heart she really wants to be together with me, she even went to meeting with me and studied with us, for me I believe. She doesn't want anything more to do with it now, and has made it very clear to me that she hates what it done to her. I am afraid that I have lost her now for good. We went out and had a good time a couple days ago, but she will not return my calls, and she ignores me when she sees me. I do not understand, have I done something wrong? I did not want to post here but I think this will be my only chance in reaching her.

apostate man

Yeah, lose the cult and maybe you'll have a shot.

Sorry, don't mean to be so harsh, but thats what needs to be done.

mbst

I have been a jehovahs witness all my life, and all my family are. I do not believe that it is a cult. It is the truth, She called it a cult, and other things. It is all I know.

Will Power

Welcome mb

Looks like you've got a free-thinker on your hands. Thats probably what is so attractive. Come on out of the box, have a look around, the facts are free, the conversation is lively and the light is turned on all the way!

Darkhorse

From reading your post, I take it your girl friend is a "worldly person" like me as you mentioned she was studying. Not knowing either of you, it is hard to give you a definitive reason why she may be reacting the way she is.

I can give a possible reason from my point of view. By studying with JW's she probably began to get the picture of what becoming a JW entails - a lot more than going door-to-door trying to convert people. That was my impression of JW's until I began to research the group when I found out a woman I befriended (I also am female) was associated with JW's. I still do not know the extent of her involvement, etc. When I started reading about all the regulations/restrictions placed upon a person once they were baptized, I thought "Whoaaaaa!" The bit about not associating with worldly people (we are supposed to be very bad associations and lead a doomed existance) really bothered me; then there is the "no part of the world" bit so you cannot observe holidays, the headship (JW women have no rights); the shunning really makes me sick - if you really love somebody, they should not be subjected to such heart- breaking treatment; and the list goes on and on.

She is probably scared. I know, when I found out all of the above, I was unsure if I wanted to stay friendly with the woman I know; but then again, I am not romantically involved.

Sorry, but I am just being honest

AjaxMan

mbst,

Can you try to look at it from her point of view as well as understand her point view?

You may be able to find the answers to your question(s) that way.

apostate man

MBST,

You have been conditioned to think that it is the truth. I am sooooooo glad you are here. Please look around. Just because your family is in it and you were raised in it does not mean it is the truth. I totally understand that you think that way. The org. is very convincing using many different tactics to keep ya going. Think!

deddaisy

mbst:
I'm not being sarcastic though it may appear that way on the computer. really, I just don't understand what your reasoning is for pursuing a relationship that is a road to "disaster" from the start...If you believe the society's teachings to be true, then why would you want to attempt to have a relationship with a person that doesn't share your beliefs? I'm not trying to imply that it couldn't be done, my question is, "why would you want to get someone that doesn't want to be a witness in a situation with someone that is happy being a witness?" It's not like a coffee-drinker getting involved with a non-coffee drinker!!!! It's like if this girl went to meetings JUST in order to be close to YOU (HAPPENS ALOT) then WHAT if she got baptised JUST in order to marry YOU. NOT realizing that she, in fact, would also be marrying the organization. If she's in "it," just because of you," sooner or later she is going to either get you out of it,(you should do this yourself) or she is going to DITCH you. I hope that there isn't kids involved by that time.....if she were to be df'ed, which she would be eventually if she only got baptised in order to be around you, THEN your belief teaches you that she will DIE at Armageddon! Why on earth would you want to RISK doing this to someone you say you CARE about....AND DON'T "lose your religion" just to be with her!!!! Lose your religion when you feel in your heart that it is not the truth.....It seems like you already have doubts and you just want someone to tell you that it will be ok to leave.....that is something that only you can do when you're ready to do it yourself, girl or no girl. anyway, be happy that this girl was open-minded enough to check out your beliefs but independent enough to say "no thanks." maybe that fact alone is trying to tell you something.....

MoeJoJoJo

She is on the outside looking in and can see the religion for what it is. You on the other hand, well you said it yourself, its all you have ever known.
Do some more research to prove to yourself whether it is actually the "truth" or whether your girlfriend is right about it being a cult. I was a JW all of my life and so were many here. My husband who has also left the religion, was a third generation JW.

It sounds like its not you personally but the religion she wants nothing to do with. But she probably feels that in order to be with you she has to accept the religion.

Edited to add--welcome to the board and feel free to ask any additional questions!!

plmkrzy

"I look to the sea, reflections in the waves spark my memory
Some happy,some sad"

styx

This one most definitely Happy

Hello all, I am new here

Share this