If he deleted you, he is hiding something and wants to not let you see his friend connections. Trust me, FB is a way to cheat and it happens. It is also the main way to communicate with some control. Best advice, sit and talk and be honest if you want to try and if you do ... let him have you read everything and face the facts of anything you read. Just tell him, "Look, be honest with what I will see now" and go from there. But above all things, if he did what he did ... he is cheating! If not physically, with words and getting ready to go further. Most likely though, the deletion happened because the next step happened already and he is closing doors that could reveal what happened.
My husband deleted me as a friend on FaceBook
by cognac 60 Replies latest jw friends
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Cagefighter
Ok Cognac, granted many women can be "difficult" from time to time to communicate with. While we are all here to support you, coming on here and complaining to us when you should be dealing with him directly first is not healthy. It only creates more resentment in your own heart which will come out of your mouth whether you want it to or not.
Let's take a step back though before you blame yourself. Life in JW land conditions us to have unrealistically high expectations of ourselves, others and relationships and life in general. It's ok if you make or made some mistakes, you certainly haven't broke your marriage vows or discarded the relationship and it sounds like he has or is going to very soon. Any difficulties you have given him are no execuse for his behaviour. It's too easy to blame your self when you have been in a chauvinistic cult for so long. He married you just like you married him so this is his burden to lift as well. If he won't lend a hand, then you have to accept reality.
Becareful, with this "it's my fault" thinking. It's a way we still try and maintain control. We think if I have the power to screw it up, that means I have the power to fix it. You might not be able to fix it, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Don't be afraid of failure, just do your best and keep a level head.
You sound miserable as anyone would be. You will be fine no matter what happens. Have you thought of finding a good counselor or life coach to help you through this tricky phase of life?
I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes:
"Life is comedy for those that think, and tragedy for those that feel". You just have to create your happiness sometimes, especially when life sucks.
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Aussie Oz
''The problem has to be with me. He must be just reacting to what I'm doing wrong. I can't act like I'm innocent in all this. I just must not be an easy person to deal with''...
just what he wants you to think. You give him that line and he will use it till your name is doormat.
It's BOTH of your's problem
Oz
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Rattigan350
Did this talking with another girl on FB create problems?
"I made it clear after the time a girl sent him a message saying that she loved him that I didn't want him on facebook for awhile. He doesn't like to be controlled, so deleted me so I just wouldn't know he was on."
Maybe that is the problem. What do you have against others loving him? Do you want to be the only one to do so? That's alot of responsiblity.
Why do wives get jealous over that, rather than be happy over it since it makes him happy? Why does the husband's happiness have to center on the wife?
I say, he let's you be, you let him be. As long as it does not cost anything, what's the problem?
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mrsjones5
" Maybe that is the problem. What do you have against others loving him? Do you want to be the only one to do so? That's alot of responsiblity."
Why even be married? *sarcasm*
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jgnat
The problem has to be with me. He must be just reacting to what I'm doing wrong. I can't act like I'm innocent in all this. I just must not be an easy person to deal with...cognac
The problem is that you are taking all the responsibility for the relationship on yourself. You could behave perfectly and he could still be a cad.
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00DAD
cognac: He doesn't like to be controlled
If he's a JW, he's programmed to be controlled.
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sir82
Sounds like you both could use some couples therapy. Item 1: how to communicate.
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EntirelyPossible
It's almost like FB is becoming more important that actually talking with a person....
This is why I don't use FB.
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shamus100
That is very true, E.P. It seems we all have our secret little internet vices - JWN, Facebook... whatever it may be we all have it.