I place the blame right where it belongs. Back in the days when I fell into the scam, I didn't have a computer that I could type in the religion to a search engine and get unbiased research on it. I had to go by what they presented--a LIE-ble, a Suffer Forever book, and a scumbag that would not take no for an answer and wanted me to make the maximum sacrifice for the minimum reward. Upon confronting them about what appeared to be Jewish observances, they simply said that they are not applicable today (a lie; the rules are Pharisaic). They kept pushing me in the direction they wanted me going in, never letting up. I believe they even did spiritual rituals to bind my soul to joke-hova forever, even beyond this life and damning me to return in a devout witless family (an endless series of them) each time I am reincarnated. And given no possibility of escape.
With all that going against me, I see no way I could have avoided this fate. Instead of me being ashamed, joke-hova should be. That parasite has to go.