That is a really sad situation. You are a good person.
.....It is painful to watch...
by OnTheWayOut 53 Replies latest jw friends
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Ding
Hang in there, OTWO.
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under the radar
I don't know you, OTWO, but I admire you and respect you for the unconditional love you have shown your sister. It is obvious that you have put her interests above your own many times and unselfishly looked after her needs. It's a shame that her husband seems to have used her situation as a way to provide for himself.
My hat's off to you, Sir!
One might well ask if a JW would do the same for their unbelieving sibling, particularly if they were DA or DF. Hmmm...
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cobaltcupcake
Your sister is lucky to have such a loving brother.
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OnTheWayOut
As far as considering a church, the nuns from the Catholic Church come in the place all the time. She is free to talk to them. She wants nothing of it.
She was going to a therapist before moving into the nursing home, but that budget was cut. At least that therapist helped her find the strength to leave her husband's care.
Even in leaving his care, I had to put her in the hospital and she had to tell them she was in her condition BECAUSE OF HIS CARE. She left specific instructions that she did not want him to visit. They didn't even try to stop him and wanted her to go home with him- the easiest way out for them without having to do anything about her situation. I had to go into the hospital and make a scene in front of him while he was trying to tell her to just come home. The hospital staff did not understand, but I was trying to get us both thrown out of the hospital and banned from visiting until they could figure out that she needed to go elsewhere.
I succeeded. I got us both thrown out. But her own doctor, who knew something of the situation, had only her husband banned and I was allowed to visit. Until the other day, that was the last time she saw her husband. He was doing just as I said- telling others he will take care of her properly and staying at her side insisting she comes home.
That's when she was 80 pounds and her antidepressants were all off-balance from not having seen a doctor.
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wasblind
OTWO Good brother indeed
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problemaddict
Sorry OTWO. That is a rough story to read. You are doing the right thing (you already know this), and it is hard to be lied to while you sacrifice so much. I know that. But what she is dealing with in just living from day to day, has to be taking a toll on her sanity. She must also feel connected to her husband. Maybe just not wanting to be alone all day.
I can only imagine what living like that must be like.
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Doubting Bro
OTWO - strength to you as you deal with this situation. I think your doing a great job.
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OnTheWayOut
I can only imagine what living like that must be like.
I am straight-up with my sister. A year ago, she wished she succeeded in starving. But she wanted to live afterall. She asked me to get her out of her home. Since then, there has been no wishing she was dead on her part.
I am torn on that too. Oh, I don't really wish she was dead, but when she falls apart and says she is just getting used to the pain from day to day, I sometimes wish the grim reaper would just take her in her sleep and be done with it. It's not cold, it's kindness. Her mother and I have been prepared for that situation, and it will happen one day. Maybe tonight or maybe not for a few years, but it will happen just like that.
Then I remember that her husband knows that too. Regardless of what I think of him, she chose him and he did his best for all that time until his best was just no good. If he could just be trusted to visit her once or twice a week for no more than a couple hours and then leave, without trying to poison her mind that he knows what's best for them, all would be okay with him staying around. But now that the door to visiting has opened, within weeks of now he will be there from the beginning of the day until the end of the day. It's not like he has a job to go to. She will call me to say she is tired of him visiting, I may have to involve the police.
It was a nice break from him. I had gotten used to just dealing with her physical health and not having to deal with mental health and situations.
Sorry if I ramble. I need to say these things and see if there are kernels of hidden truths in them. By rambling, some of you point things out. Thanks for your help.
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Cagefighter
There is another angle I want to bring up OTWO. Watching my JW parent's deal with their dying non-JW relatives a few years back was very interesting. They really did not know what to do sometimes. It's like they have never thought out how these scenes are going to play out and what it all means. "You can live forever on Paradise" seems to be a way for a lot of people denying the reality of life it self.