by Apognophos 22 Replies latest social humour
I was a young lad around 11 or 12 years old.
My mom sent me to the store. While waiting in line
to check out, a couple of customers in front of me.
A middle age lady, walk pass me and stood in front of me.
She then looked around at me and said out loud, young man
it,s not nice to butt in line, who do you think you are. The
other customers turn around and looked at me with disdain.
I will never forget that. Why would a grown up do that to
a young child.
My little shopping buddy was beside me at a year and 1/2 just hanging out, then in a split second started stripping down a manikin! I swear people thought he was looking to nurse on her or something else lol!
My wee brother was looking at ice-creams in the freezer at the corner shop. One of those freezers you need to peer over into to see what is in it, especially if you are only nine years old, as my brother was at the time. But he wasn't feeling too well and the movement and pressure of peering over into the freezer made him queasy and he was sick into the ice-cream freezer. A lot of sick. Over all the ice creams. Not much we could say about that, and I guess he wasn't up to eating an ice cream anyway, so we just left.
I was in line waiting to pay at the Cashier ... I was wearing a very long skirt... my 3 year old daughter was behind me and I didn't notice that she was lifting my skirt from behind allowing everybody around me to see my underwear ...
When I was about 8 months pregnant, I reached up to the top shelf for a bag of oyster crackers. Apparently, the bag had been cut when they stocked the shelves because tiny little crackers poured out and filled my glasses and my shirt. I happened to inhale a bunch of the salt, so I was coughing quite a bit too. My black shirt was covered in crumbs.Even though it wasn't my fault, I was pretty embarrassed.
I went to Safeway to do my weekly shopping. One of my daughters who was just under three years old at the time liked to walk alongside the cart. She was not yet fully potty trained and wore a diaper still (just in case). At home, she'd just reach under her dress, pull the diaper tabs and let it drop to the ground. I was trying to break her of that habit.
Anyway, we spent a good hour in the store doing our shopping and when we got back out to the car, I picked her up, and when I went to put her in the car, all I got was bare bum on my hand rather than a padded diaper. I looked at her, and asked her where her diaper was. She indicated it was in the store. She'd gone potty and simply reached under her dress, pulled the tabs, let it drop and kept walking unbeknownst to me!
I was horrified. I picked her up, and walked toward the store. But then I realized we had been in there for an hour. I had no idea at what point she'd done this. What would I say? "Excuse, me, did anyoen find a dirty diaper in one of aisles? Well, it's OURS. We're here for it." I decided to get right back in the car and head straight home.
All I could think of after that is someone coming along, seeing a dirty diaper in the aisle and thinking "What kind of filthy person would do this?" That's what I would have thought.
When I worked in a grocery store I had a couple of accidents but one of the biggest ones was that I was filling the wine and pushed the rest behind... I kept filling but suddenly on the OTHER side of the cabinet the wine fell off! There was no "wall" in between the cabinets there (where there should have been one)... about 6 bottles of wine fell on the floor (6 litres of the heavenly juice!). That was a messy thing to clean up for sure!
When my brother and I were younger we had a little incident at out local Food-4-Less. They had this display set up right by the entrance of the store and my bro and I were rough housing (like always). He pushed me, I pushed back, he got me back and then finally I pushed harder sending him right into this pyramid of 2 liter soda bottles. To say the explosions of soda we caused was epic is not doing my story justice but....IT WAS EPIC. Ma was a few buttons away from murdering us and the poor clerk that came to clean up the sea of soda looked like he was willing to help her. Fun times.
Any more horror stories to tell? There's something very amusing about store accidents.
I was at the supermarket. Put my umbrella in the trolley. (one of those with a long wooden handle)
went to the check out not really paying attention. Heard a whoop! From the guy in front of me. The handle had gone right up between his legs into his crotch. I couldnt get out fast enough.
HB
