What is WT policy on a persons deceased ashes?

by William Penwell 23 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Band on the Run

  You touched on a sore subject with me. My mom left express wishes that her ashes be scattered at the Jersey shore. My now RC sister will not expressly state that she does not want them scattered. I finally told her we needed a date certain. There are restrictions on scattering ashes b/c of tourism. It costs money to go beyond the limits. Several captaiins told me if we did it quietly, how would anyone know? Also, I don't know what the penalty is?

  I feel my mom made the choice. When she first died and the urn was creepy, I had custody. I lost it b/c I don't h ave a mantel.

  On the other hand, I don't think that my mom would want me to take my sister to court, which I could do.

  My mom was traumatized by her father's cremation. He was thrown out as though he was garbage. You know JWs will go for the garbage mode. I would try to negotiate a settlement, giving in to every family member's wishes. Grandchildren should have a say, but no vote.

  Roman Catholics have nothing against scatteriing ashes. I feel it is a family political play that reflects tensions within the family. Since my mom always talked about the shore, even when I was a teenager, I feel strongly about it. I decided not to press the issue. Knowing my sister, too, I have no idea why she won't do what my mom wanted. I think she fears the closure.
• 

  William Penwell

  I think most communities have laws about scattering ashes but if you do it discreatly who is going to say anything. I think a lot of these laws are pushed by the sleezy Undertakers and Funeral Homes as they want to try and squeeze out every last nickle they can out of the deseased.
• 

  Band on the Run

  I would gladly pay for a boat to take me outside the limits. My mom expressly wanted her ashes scattered. I told my sister that I spoke with several captains who told me to just not make a big production out of it. Altho she will not admit she won't scatter them, no date is ever set. Perhaps it bothers me so much b/c my mom asked for so little from us and gave us so much. We had uncondtional love. I was my mom's confidante. My sister may not eve know how hurt my mom was by the JW cremation.

  I don't think the Coast Guard and Homeland Security care about the ashes. There is zero health concern. Heck, many people scatter ashes at the shore. The shore has been closed many times b/c of dangerous toxins in the water. It is sort of like polutonium in the NYC water supply. You just drink in denial.

  JW funerals always hurt me. I only attended very close friends and family member's funerals. My Dutch relatives who were Bible Students had such vibrant personalities. My family for some reason always distrusted non family JWs. My ggf was a member of the Remnant, a Bible Student, later JW, and went to prison for going door to door in the early days. None of this was mentioned. HIs faithful dog, Curly, was not mentioned. No one mentioned that I felt awful about losing a grandfather. It was just like a WT study.

  The same thing happened with my father. His best friend from Bethel, my uncle, gave the funeral talk. I thought it would be so nice as funeral goes b/c they were close. They had momumental checkers rivalries. My uncle knew little details to make it more human. No, I was mentioned in passing.The bizarre thing is that no one was invited from the KH. It was close family only. Everyone had spent decades in the Witnesses. Yet my uncle preached as though we never heard the message before.
• 

  Glander

  Whatever you do, do not set the ashes out on the back deck until they are completely cool. Otherwise you could burn the house down.