So much good advice on here, please keep us informed as how things are going, that way it might help others.
Etna
Newbie - I need advice!
by awakening 43 Replies latest jw experiences
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jgnat
Yeah! I keep track of the tips that work.
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Fernando
Great advice from Ding!
You could also ask an open ended question as to how many different Bible translations the Watchtower quotes from.
This could gently lead in to looking at various translations. This is a great aid to seeing things we have missed for years.
www.bible.cc and www.biblegateway.com are both great.
The Message Bible introduction to Galatians is awesome! The plain English in this (paraphrase type) Bible often hits like a bolt from heaven.
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Newly Enlightened
Hi Awakening....WELCOME. You are starting on a journey that will be difficult at times but once you start learning about the real truth you will feel freer and your mind more clearer that it ever was as a JW. When it comes to your wife, the thing that we have discovered that helps is you have to fight fire with fire. If they like the preaching work then kindly and calmly tell them that householders are stumping JW's at the door and putting it on Youtube to teach people how to humiliate Witnesses. Then show her the Reasoning book pg 89. The WTS quotes there from the Imperial Bible dictionary. The [...] is some missing information and they end it with '...to have been an upright pole'. {Period] when the ACTUAL book has a [,] and continues to say "and this always remained the more prominant part." [Meaning not the only part] Imperial Bible Dictionary pg 376 Under subheading 'Cross, crux" http://archive.org/stream/theimperialbible01unknuoft#page/376/mode/1up Then ask them, your own Reasoning book quotes from this book, but they leave some information out, so they are actually MISQUOTING this book. How would you deal with that if a householder does this? Peace on your journey.
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wannaexit
Wow! so many new members the last couple of weeks! I am so happy that many are figuring things out. I also want to give Awakening a heartfelt WELCOME.
I would have to agree with the members that have suggested to tread lightly and carefully. And I love what Jnat has said: "Don't spook the natives."
From personal experience, I know that if my husband would have told me right off the bat what he was learning and his involvement with this forum's predecessor, I would have left him. I was so "cooked" and so devoted that I would have tossed him and our marriage aside. No question in my mind. He knew that too. For the sake of our marriage and family, he kept it all in. I realized after, how difficult this was for him. But eventually through his gentle prodding and reasoning--I started to see things too. I love him so much more for this sacrifice.
My 2 cents worth: do all you can and educate yourself on what this religion is really all about. Take time for yourself and your wife. Increase the time you spend together and do fun stuff. Every once in a while draw her out. Most likely your wife has doubts of her own and things don't make sense for her either.
See if you can step down from your duties and when you go to meetings make use of your time o read other stuff. It's easy now. Just use a mobile device --sit at the very back and tune things out.
Wishing you all the best
Wannaexit
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Fernando
You potentially only have one shot at freeing your wife.
It is almost impossible to go too slow.
It is very easy to go too fast and ruin your chances.
Open ended questions, listening, validation, and getting feedback are crucial as others have observed.
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Kool Jo
Welcome aboard!!!
I stepped down as an MS a couple months ago...I personally can't give any relationship advice, however what about taking steps to step down as an MS?
Your family may react in a negative manner especially if they think you ought to progress to eldership!
Hope it works out well for you!
Peace
Kool Jo
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excitesinceredetermination
A warm welcome to you Awakening! I don't have many suggestions yet, as I am new here as well and looking to get my family out. I am trying to think of it as jgnat said, an undercover agent. I still study everything for the meetings in order to find the newest inconsistencies so I can ask my family what they 'thought'. I am hoping this will keep a constant open door to discussing things readily so it doesn't seem so odd when I bring up the 'deeper' things.
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whichway2go
Wow welcome. I just joined as well. Also an active ms, married and obedient to no kids as well. I've doubted for a coule years, and one day in talking about odd cong things found out the wife did too. Both almost born ins. Was amazed and it opened our minds to research together. I'm sorry you are having to do it alone, but encourage you to still continue. I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted knowing all I do now. I will warn you it makes you want to just run away, so remaining family makes it hard to move slow.
Just amazed at the number of ms that have joined.
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Pickler
Welcome Awakening, leaving TT is a slow, slow process. TT can take over your whole lives, you need to take yours and your wife's life back, bit by bit.
Sleep in, make some non JW friends, volunteer somewhere, play a sport, read good literature. Every little thing that you do that is positive and life affirming lessens the hold that the TT has on you. Create distance!
I know that I was fading for a long time, but my new workplace at the time had some fabulous people, it really had a powerful impact on me, how could all these people be going to die at Armageddon? I love music, how could that be wrong?
With distance it becomes easier to see clearly what you don't believe, for instance, I never hated homosexuality like you were supposed to. I couldn't care less what 2 consenting adults want to get up to. Once I was away from the daily grind of being a JW that became crystal clear to me!
In summary it was love for the world around me that got me out of TT.
only later (like now!) am I looking into the many ways in which they are wrong, it's been an eye opener for me, for sure. Good Luck to you!