Wouldn't it be great if the New Faithful and Discreet Slave showed disfellowshipped ones how much they care with a "So you're Disfellowshipped? Here is your Disaster Initiation Kit)
it includes:
Matches (to burn your blood card)
compass (to find your way back, its not metaphoric. The poles allign at wallkill cemetary)
toilet paper (to clean up your mess, blow your nose and dry them tears!)
carob pods (if they're good enough for the prodigal they're good enough for your!)
mental disease aniseptic hand cleanser
Zodiac Flash cards (because you're no doubt going to go this route)
Dog/Cat Fancy Magazines (Hobbies were always "frowned upon"...start simple)
Philately Now! (basically a glue high)
watchtower dot org videos. Yes, they actually spell out the dot.
Oh, and the forbidden fruit answer for me is......
Dudes...it would take weeks, but i'm in...A beard growning party. Ladies, come watch!