NEW RELIGION! NEED INPUT! (page 2)

LDH

Can I be the spokesperson? I've always wanted to see my face on the cover of a magazine (lol). Here's an example of my work:

I'm the best spin doctor you'll ever find. I'm really good at re-explaining earlier explanations in such a way, that you'll never remember the original explanation, and all successive explanations will be earlier interpretations of mis-quoted speeches. My discovery of using run on sentences in such a way to distract the reader from interpreting the original idea by using archaic English rather than the vernacular we use today that you will have no choice but to acknowledge my superior intellect. When confusion amongst our internal board of directors has been leaked to the press without prior knowledge or authorization, I can look directly at the microphone, and say "No comment."

If all else fails, being a woman and having those womanly wiles, I can always flash the photographers and journalists to distract them from gathering data to justify their condemnation of my information. (This is something ISP has been waiting for for some time now. :) )

My motto? If you can't Dazzle 'em with Data, Baffle 'em with Bullshit!

Feedback?

TR

Looks like we're building a great crew, so far.

amicus: Minister of the Treasury: I like the idea of one signature checks. Who needs dual control! Being a former accounts servant, I know what you mean. Welcome aboard!

RedhorseWoman: Minister of Vestments and Revelries: Your being a Goddess and all, how can I pass you up? I've always wanted a special robe. Can we have the "urine and the thumb 'em" attached to the breast of the garments? In charge of meeting activities including music(live only, no canned music), dogmatic discussion groups, etc. Party on and welcome aboard!

Notperfectyet: Minister of Gossip: This is an important function of the rank and file followers. You are charged with starting gossip, backbiting, and slander. Welcome aboard!

PeaceLoveHarmony: Minister of Morality: Charged with developing religious morality that must be followed by rank and file. Delving into peoples personal sex life is a must! Welcome aboard!

LDH: Spokesperson:

I'm the best spin doctor you'll ever find. I'm really good at re-explaining earlier explanations in such a way, that you'll never remember the original explanation, and all successive explanations will be earlier interpretations of mis-quoted speeches. My discovery of using run on sentences in such a way to distract the reader from interpreting the original idea by using archaic English rather than the vernacular we use today that you will have no choice but to acknowledge my superior intellect. When confusion amongst our internal board of directors has been leaked to the press without prior knowledge or authorization, I can look directly at the microphone, and say "No comment."
If all else fails, being a woman and having those womanly wiles, I can always flash the photographers and journalists to distract them from gathering data to justify their condemnation of my information.

Need I say more? YOUR THERE BABY!

thinkers wife: Special assistant to the Minister of Vestments and Revelries: In charge of organizing social gatherings, i.e.: company picnics, high profile activities that put our org. in the spotlight. Welcome aboard!

JT: Special High Priest: Has all the answers for all the questions. Welcome aboard!

There are more positions to be filled. Please feel free to apply. Make up your own position, we're open to suggestions!

The religious order of "The Lost Who Have Been Found" is now active! Salutations to all who choose to devote their life to meaningless, manmade religious drivel!

TR

Edited by - TR on 1 February 2001 13:52:41

LDH

You may wish to ask ISP if he will do the work pro-bono.

Lisa

Simon

I can do the web site and would also be more than happy to help spend some of the money.

TR

Simon,

Being the new official webmaster of this religion, "The Lost That Have Been Found"(not to be confused with "lost and found"), You will be needing start up cash to get things rolling. Since amicus is our treasurer, you will need to discuss finances with him.

You will also need to receive all reports from the Minister of Gossip to post on the website. The Special High Priest will need web space for his question and answer forum. Notices for special occasions and Royal Vestment sales will need to be posted also. I hope that the sales from the Royal Vestments will create a huge cashflow. Of course, donations are allways accepted. I expect big donations at our assebl...er, company picnics, too.

Man, there's much work to be done for new business venture...er, religion.

TR

Scorpion

TR,

Just wanted to remind you that you will need many faithful sheep to man the toilet brushes and vacuums after the assemblies not to mention the trash being dumped, parking lot swept etc etc etc.

Simon

I think we need to come up with some sort of dress code - more for the 'sister' really and obviously, any who won't look good in hotpants will not be encouraged to get baptised (how about we use a very small bath so only slim ones will fit?)

TR

Scorpion,

you're right! I think the r&f followers will pick up the slack and increase in numbers once we decide on a really cool doctrine they can follow and be happy about. BTW, what WILL be our doctrine? Hmmm...haven't thought of that, yet. Can't have the bigwigs scrubbing toilets, though.

Simon,

I fully agree with the baptismal dress code for sisters. Now, don't you ladies get your girdles in a bunch! I'm sure RedhorseWoman will think of something special for the guys. The sisters with "bodies to die for" will wear those new "paint on" paper thin latex rubber suits, and they will use a shower, not a tub. The others, well, I think I have some empty beer kegs out behind the garage, I'm sure RHW has an extra horse trough.

TR

larc

Maybe, we should have a combination baptism and wet tee shirt contest.

larc

TR,

I'd like to be involved in Bible research, cause I already figured a good doctrine, "The end of the world will be here in 100 million years." Here's my proof: seven is a perfect number right? And 2520 years is a time period we all know and love right? Well, you take 2520 to the seventh power and you are way up in the millions. What do you think gang?

NEW RELIGION! NEED INPUT!

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