Whacky comments! What the craziest comment you've ever heard?

by toweragent 76 Replies latest jw friends

  • Londo111
    Londo111
  • MrFreeze
    MrFreeze

    caliber, about your "it would be better if they were dead" comment, my mother said those exact words to me when I told her I wasn't going to meetings anymore and that I didn't agree with the WT's teachings.

  • d
    d

    One sister I remember said "If Gay marriage is legal before you know it they will make marrying animals legal." I thought that was most the stupid ever to be said.

  • d
    d

    One sister I remember said "If Gay marriage is legal before you know it they will make marrying animals legal." I thought that was most the stupid ever to be said.

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    Well, if that filthy angel goes back to Jesus because I wouldn't waste my time in field circus, so be it. I wish they would all go back--and get bound. The last thing I need is to have filthy angels keeping me in field circus, draining me and not giving a fxxx that it is costing me too much in terms of health, sleep, work, or getting things done. Those things just want me to waste all my time for joke-hova, so Satan can't do me any good.

    And, while that scumbag angel goes back, let it send me all the Demons so they can actually do something that is to my good. And let those Demons help me to develop so I can join them--the sooner joke-hova and its filthy angels are bound, the better.

    Another I have heard is that we should not pray to joke-hova for assistance unless it is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. Now, suppose I only do field circus if it's "absolutely necessary" and I decide whether it is "absolutely necessary" or not. Does this mean joke-hova really expects us to be miserable, as long as it feels it doesn't need us to have something, yet we are expected to do field circus all the time at great personal hardship? Let those filthy angels go back to joke-hova--let them all be bound, joke-hova and all.

  • ÁrbolesdeArabia
    ÁrbolesdeArabia

    Watchtower Conductor on Sunday "Who Do Jehovah's Witnesses Worship?"

    Mentally Ill Sister Pioneering that month: "Satan the Devil!"

    I ripped my guts laughing so hard, while the kingdom hall was mortified! Can you top that one?

    Sister pioneer had a part on Thursday Nights Service Meeting, crazy brother elder brooklyn bob had visited her with his wife to make sure she was doing ok. The visited over a hour and crazy brooklyn bob forget to get a replacement for her part.

    In front of the entire Kingdom Hall (Sister pioneer on the telephone line), Brooklyn Bob say's "Maggie can't make the part tonight, she has a real bad case of Montazumas Revenge, me and my wife can vouche for her, she was sitting on the crapper the whole time we stopped by her house!"

    "Brooklyn Bob" was called back into the elders room and we had to counsel this poor brother why it's wrong to tell the audience, Sister "Maggie has the Shits!"

  • ÁrbolesdeArabia
    ÁrbolesdeArabia

    While studying the Evolution (Blue Book)

    Elder uneducated was asked to do the weekly reading.

    In place of the word "Organism" he used the word "Orgasm" over and over and over again. Brother Gufus best friend left the room because he could not contain his laughter. After the seventh time, his wife gets up and walks over to him and explains what the word he has been saying means and he gigles out loud and keeps making the same mistake. How do men like him make elder?

    The Wild Beast in Revelation book "The Wild Breasts". Freudian slips or was he just stupid? I know he had the education of a ten year old or not more, he was that dumb and he loves to pick on college educated elders!

    I think everyone who has been in the Organization for over twenty years has heard "If the Organization is wrong, they are the lessor of all evils" or "Jehovah is testing us to see if we will remain loyal, even if the Governing Body has gone mental!" Justification of the cult allows all the tiny little minds of men and women to keep their positions of prominence. What other religion allows buffons and gufuses to hold positions they are not meant to hold? The CEO of a company was trying to build up his employee morale when he advised them "I could hire chimps to come in and take your jobs if you don't start showing more appreciation". The GB 2.0 might end up hiring Chimps to outsource their elders and might get better results with Shepherd Calls.

  • Tiktaalik
    Tiktaalik

    During a public talk an elder said that the reason you get sunburnt quicker in the mountains is because you are closer to the sun.

  • lovelylil
    lovelylil

    I thought having to sit through talks about masturbation and how it is self abuse with a bunch of little kids in the kh, including my own, was about the craziest comments I ever heard.

    I took my kids age 5 and 7 and walked out. Afterwards people actually asked me why I left??

  • punkofnice
    punkofnice

    ''In the new system Jehovah will let us use computers to make a DNA.'' The twat that said this is now an elder...and yes he said 'A DNA'.

    "We shopuldn't watch magic tricks because magic is from the demons." This sister suffers from a lot of depression now-a-days.

    "We will have BMW cars in paradise because why wouldn't Jehovah give us the best if something can't be improved on?"

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