B-exB -- it is worth it in the long run. I'm sorry your brain hurts. I understand you undertook a lot of classes this semester - maybe next semester will be easier for you. At least I hope so.
Personal Updates
by Hortensia 28 Replies latest social entertainment
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LouBelle
Hortensia - that is where I am in my journey - not interested in debating if god does or doesn't exists, who's right and who's wrong....
Your trip sounds like fun - I need a trip away soooo bad.
Right, so a quick update on my life: I got a new job and started on the 7th of Jan, not enjoying it so much and looking for something else. I have been on diet and have currently lost 10kg since the 9th of Jan (that's 22 pounds). Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's about it. *wrap up done*
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Hortensia
Glad to hear from you LouBelle
It's a pity to spend the majority of your life working somewhere you don't like -- sorry awkward sentence. I hope you find something more interesting and fun to do. Good work on the diet!
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Open mind
Mum: " I suggested Watership Down. Did you guys read it?"
Hey there SandraC! Nice to hear from you. I remember your recommendation well. Unfortunately, it's still on the "To Read" list. Now, thanks to you gentle reminder, much closer to the top.
Hortensia: After 24 hours, I wish I could retract my crude little tale. It's not my usual sort of humor. Hope I didn't offend too much.
Best,
om
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sd-7
I'm doing fine. Physically I had a minor setback of reigniting my back injury maybe a couple of weeks ago, but I feel like I'm back to normal again.
Emotionally, I'm in a better place than I had been, which is odd, considering how rough things got at home last week and over the weekend. My wife has repeatedly expressed concern about my apparent attraction to certain actresses. There was a rather unique disagreement over this issue after Jennifer Lawrence appeared on 'Jimmy Kimmel Live' one night recently, and the seriousness of my evidently having sexual fantasies about Jennifer Lawrence--perhaps even while pretending to listen to what my wife is saying, no less!--was brought to my attention. And then the deadly what-if? scenario, my wife presented: What if someone who looks like Jennifer Lawrence starts working at my job? Will I cheat and want to leave my wife? Some women are very aggressive, she noted, and may have noticed that I'm handsome and might not care that I'm married.
Well, I'd be more concerned about someone who looks like Natalie Portman, or Anne Hathaway, or Christina Milian than Jennifer Lawrence. I'd post photos to compare, but you all know what Google is and I'll leave it up to the individual's conscience to decide on that issue...it would derail the discussion here... But the aggressive women I've encountered are typically unemployed or underemployed, seriously screwed up inside. I'm thinking I probably shouldn't let anything like that happen again, in line with sage advice kurtbethel gave me years ago when I first joined JWN, something along the lines of Stay away from those melodramatic women or those whose lives are a train wreck, they will only bring you way down... One only needs to ignore that sort of advice in a very brief moment of delusion in order to understand just how sage it really is.
Over the weekend, the accusations that I am cheating got even worse, and she declared that I hate her and that she wanted to leave. I've been working late for awhile since I've been going to bed late and getting up late for work (and have been extremely lucky not to be fired...yet...as a result of that), so I've gotten home late for awhile...and that always brings suspicion if I don't maintain constant contact with the Mrs. And since I was depressed I didn't want to talk to anyone, not even her. So I guess that didn't help.
She's worried that I'm going to change my mind about her someday and jump ship. I've had every chance to do so, with giant Exit signs and yes, even her actually leaving for a month, two years ago. So if I really, truly wanted to leave her, I suppose I would have. Maybe that's the thing I'm starting to see. I think there's something more important than the life I could have without her. I made the choice to marry her once for all time and I did it with the understanding that things would go to hell. I whined about it a lot, sadly, but it's pointless since I haven't made any decision other than to stay. I've made the mistake of not being serious enough about owning my decisions since my liberation from the WT. I need to do that, it's part of the whole being a man thing.
I did my best to reassure her. So...she stayed. Of course, where she was going to go at 1:30 in the morning with both kids asleep in the back seat of the car while we're having it out, I'm not sure, but...hey, whatevs. It's funny. I normally get really screwed up inside when she gets all emotional like that--and to be honest, it's been years since I can remember a fight that horrible. Well, okay, not years, there was that small disagreement over her back-seat driving probably last month that spilled over even while we were at my parents' house. But other than that, we've been cool.
It's weird, but I'm okay with it this time, and I'm not sure why. I guess...I realized, too, and this came up during the argument, that I hadn't forgiven her for ratting me out to the elders 3 years ago. I'd made her and the JWs the same, and kept seeing her as the Long Arm of the Borg rather than my wife and partner. I need to forgive her to get on with my life and to build as much of a lasting peace as one can have in the aftermath of all that's happened. I feel strangely empty about it, or at least...a bit more clarity and less of the sadness. Haven't really taken time to feel anything about it. Been too tired or otherwise occupied.
The kids are fine. Stepdaughter's getting too big for me to pick up anymore...my physical strength is greatly lacking. She's learned to write her name and has remained as stubborn as always, but still a funny little girl, energetic, very friendly, especially to other kids. My son will be a year old this month, and he's standing up on his own and crawling a lot and exploring everything. And such a winning smile, too.
On the JW front, guess I'll be going to the full convention this summer. I don't want to hope for the car to break down on the way, because it's going to be too hot for that type of thing. Why can't they have these events in the spring? Anyway, the kids will be too much for one person to handle, I think, in that environment, especially with both of them able to walk and probably run by then. I think I can handle it.
Otherwise, I'm enjoying books and movies and stuff...
Movies: Just watched most of 'Skyfall' last night. Enough to know [SPOILER ALERT] that the bad guys all die at the end, but not enough to know if all the good guys survive (!). Would like to see more about this QUANTUM organization they introduced in the previous film. I always liked the SPECTRE bad guys from the old films. We need a guy with an eyepatch and a cat again. Even ventured into the forbidden Bond movie, 'Live and Let Die'. I've always liked Roger Moore (a lot of my favorite Bond films are his, 'The Man With the Golden Gun' is my favorite of his, I think), and so far this one hasn't disappointed. Still got to watch the other half. Wow, Jane Seymour was pretty hot back in the day. Definitely one of my favorite Bond girls.
'Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Part 2' was a pretty awesome animated rendering of the classic Frank Miller graphic novel 'The Dark Knight Returns'. Fantastic finale of the Joker's last laugh and Batman vs. Superman. Very well executed for the most part.
And 2013 is going to be a heck of a year for movies. 'Catching Fire', 'Iron Man 3', 'Ender's Game', 'The Wolverine', 'Monsters University', 'Star Trek Into Darkness', 'Man of Steel', can't remember if 'Thor: The Dark World' is out this year or next. I'm sure I'm overlooking something.
TV: Was also watching some TV shows. 'Star Wars: The Clone Wars' has some pretty good stuff going on this season. Ahsoka was pretty bada-- in that last episode I saw.
'Arrow' is quickly becoming one of my favorite new shows, though I've only seen two episodes of it. I've gotten into 'Nikita' as well. Haven't taken time to watch more 'Game of Thrones', but I've read all the books anyway at this point and I'm honestly more interested in the next book than the next season of the show, except that I am definitely smitten with Daenerys Stormborn in the TV version. Looks like some lovely ladies are on the show.
But just a few days until 'Battlestar Galactica: Blood & Chrome' is out on Blu-ray/DVD. Not to mention 'Adventure Time: Fionna & Cake' and 'Game of Thrones: Season 2'. Anyway, that's about it on that front.
Books: Well, I'm reading 'Ender's Game', 'The Silmarillion', and...'Atlas Shrugged'. 'Shrugged' has been my favorite--really made me rethink my liberal leanings though I've always been more of a middle-of-the-road kind of guy, and I'm utterly uninformed about stuff like this anyway. There's something there for ex-JWs, too, if you ask me.
Since finishing 'The Lord of the Rings', I've enjoyed reading about the Illuvatar and the Eldar and the Silmarils and Melkor and all that cool stuff. 'Silmarillion' has been awesome so far.
'Ender's Game' has been fantastic as well. Look forward to getting into that series.
Comics: Just got started on the new Batman storyline 'Death of the Family', with the Joker returning to Gotham to terrorize Batman. Pretty good opening comic, too.
Been hooked on the 'Before Watchmen' series and just read Nite Owl #3. Ah...I'm definitely loving this series.
'Mega Man' is a surprisingly good comic, too, even if you might think it's a kids' kind of thing, well, I grew up with Mega Man and there are no new games being made for him at the moment; the comic is all there is, and it's very well done with a respect for the games and very funny for fans of the games. Soon they'll be doing a crossover comic with Mega Man and Sonic the Hedgehog. I didn't see that one coming, either, but it's just that Archie Comics owns the rights to both comics, so it was only natural and inevitable...
Maybe I need to get back into Superman, too--I suppose if I had that kind of money I'd be following all my old favorites more closely. Was always a DC guy and not a Marvel guy....mostly Batman, some Superman, never really any Justice League though, strangely enough. Hmm.
...Otherwise, I'm not much of a spiritual guy anymore. The most I do is use Jedi techniques to clear my thoughts or calm my emotions, but that's about it. Still wander into Biblical thoughts/discussions in my head but I guess I kind of abandoned my plan to write a book about my thoughts on Christianity. It'd just be full of errors anyway. Just less deadly ones than I'm accustomed to, I suppose...
Hmm. I guess I have really hated Valentine's Day for a long time, mostly because of that first girl I liked back in high school. Or rather, how I reacted to her...knowing that everyone else could give her Valentine's Day stuff but I couldn't, and to hear her ask me, "Who's your Valentine, Chris?" It was a depressing time. One wishes for the perspective of age and the strength of youth to cross paths somehow...what a different life I would have...or perhaps not, perhaps the pain that would have come from trying to reach out to people more in life would have made the same person I am now, who doesn't spend time with a lot of people and prefers books and devices to human beings most of the time.
Well, I probably could've let it go and not gotten this personal, but...why not? It's Singles Awareness Day, so don't let these stupid red hearts and candies and crap get you down. Being alone is way cooler. You get to see a lot more movies without somebody blurting out the ending before you can figure it out.
--sd-7
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Hortensia
open mind - not offended! don't worry
sd-7 -- why not write a blog here now and then? I'm looking forward to the new Star Trek movie, not because I like Star Trek (I don't) but because I like Benedict Cumberbatch.
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LV101
QUESTION: There's an "Apostafest" in VEGAS in May? I missed that. Do tell.
Thanks,
LV
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happy@last
Dear happy@last,
I hope everything goes well for you today. I admire your courage and strength to stand up for yourself , even if it has been many years. I hope you find the desired closer.
How you wrote of the snow falling gave me a sense of calm. Maybe this is your touchstone for inner peace during this time.
My thoughts are with you today.
Let us know how it went .
Hugs
eva luna
That's me back after my trip, spent 6 hours in the interview room and have a lengthy statement, I'll see where it goes from here. I was drained after but happy to have done this, it is scary to see 5 years of abuse written down in chronological order, some people are very sick!
I has given me a sense of relief, for me it was the right time to do it, having suffered a nervous breakdown and come through it a couple of years ago, I knew I could face talking for the first time in my adult life about the things I suffered. These events took place 30 years ago, and I am only just able to speak of them.
Anyhow, I really appreciate all the messages of support, and look forward to a busy, fulfilling weekend. The sun is out today and I am starting to feel normal again.
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cantleave
All good here........
Could do with a bit more money and a smaller mortgage.
