May 15 2013 WT: "REAL elders skip meals and lose sleep!" (page 4)

williamhconley

lits, im sorry for what you went through. Mercy, compassion and integrity is forfeited and replaced by service and other activities regulated by the gb. im surprised to see that the world has more compassion and gratefulness than the jws.

DesirousOfChange

What about our hardworking elders who miss meals or lose sleep to care for Jehovah’s sheep?

It was nice when my wife was rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night, the entire elder body and their wives came up with our family to check on us. It was really nice and something I was appreciative at the time. That was when I was fully "in" and really thought they were shepherds for Christ.

Caveat: I have not read all the posts to-date.

This is true...............but only if you are a prominent member of the Congregation. CO. Prominent Elder/Pioneer/Bethelite/Former Bethelite/Etc.

I recall buying tires for pioneer sister who just spent a wad to visit son at Bethel. If she could not afford to go see Bethel, why should I pay? If she could not afford tires to pioneer, why not get a job?

I recall CO or COs wife needs to make trip to visit family etc etc? If they were working for WTS for "free", why not WTS pay for needed airfare etc?

Generally, the Elders don't give a shit about any of the R&F members beyond "be warm and well fed". Dear God! don't let them be expected to throw a little $$$$ in to aid the disadvantaged!

Doc

mamochan13

I think it's what I expect of my religious leaders if I'm following a particular faith. They are the shepherds. It's their job to be there when the flock needs them.

Of course, the issue of voluntary work is huge. The guys at the top are expecting the elders at the bottom to do this work unpaid. That's wrong. It's also wrong that they are untrained volunteers being asked to give everything for free while still trying to support themselves and their families.

WTWizard

That's what you get for having such an oppressive religion. How many of those 3 in the morning calls were near-miss fornication or masturbation events? Ditch those rules, and you eliminate that problem. Now, with half the problems gone, dealing with the other half wouldn't be such a problem.

Now, eliminate the door to door work. Can't jw.org place a program designed to guide people into the religion? If it made sense, anyone could follow it online (at their own pace) and progress. They could attend meetings and do things according to the lessons, without having to worry about door to door (which creates the most work for everyone, hounders and all). While they are at it, if they would keep the rules to the bare minimum and eliminate the Pharisaic Jewishness found in the religion (yes, this side creates more than its share of the extra work for the hounders), it wouldn't be such a big deal. You deal more with people that are discouraged because of outside factors, not because they are not keeping the rules or having trouble finding time to do field circus.

Funny thing, Satan doesn't need to wear people out like that on stupid things. Going with nature reduces calls for people falling into temptation to zero, while allowing more time to deal with those who are having difficulty understanding the basics or with the outside. No rules against masturbation, no panic calls from someone at 3 in the morning that just masturbated or is about to masturbate and is feeling guilt.

cobaltcupcake

Despite the many negative reports we read here about abusive elders, there are some who are genuinely sincere. My ex-husband was one such. While he was still an MS he and I were assigned to assist a sister who had 5 kids and a husband in rehab. We got a call at 2:00 in the morning that one of her kids had been in a car accident, and she needed our help.

We launched out of bed and drove 20 miles to the hospital where she handed me her baby and a diaper bag and handed over her 3-year-old as well. We never did get back to bed but babysat those two kids for the whole day. (I should add that we didn't have kids, nor had either of us ever even changed a diaper.) My husband ran out to the store and bought a whole bunch of toys. By the end of the day I was in tears and trembling with stress.

After he was appointed we took a huge financial hit to move to where there was a need for elders, and he actually started the shepherding program in that congo. I remember finding him at his desk in the middle of the night doing research for a judicial case.

Inevitably, he burned out and resigned. The man had a lot of other issues that caused me to leave him, but I still admire his willingness to assist the congregation members at a great cost to himself.

Violia

I know cobalt, they ask the elders to do things that professionals usually do. However, being a friend is not something most know how to do. The folks I knew could seldom take off their elder gloves long enough to have human feelings. Everything was seen in the light of is this right or wrong , do I need to report this or not.

You Xhusband is one of the good ones and they do get burned out. They can't be everything to everyone . I wish I could tell him thanks for trying.

smiddy

We also have our older ones and those in poor health who do their best to attend Christian meetings and participate in the field service. Our hearts swell with appreciation when we think of all these self sacrificing servants of God. Such efforts affect how others view our ministry."

And what help do they give elderly and those in poor health ? who are made to feel guilty if they dont report field service ? The society doesnt give any help, either practical or financial , the responsability falls back on the rank and file of the congregation.

WTB&TS : We make our billions of $$$$ in real estate, wheeling & dealing and our publishing agency, we certainly are not going to squander it on the rank and file members who only donate their pittance contributions.

smiddy

Ucantnome

No one has to be an elder

brokethechain

@ cobaltcupcake. My experience married to an elder was similar, and he also ended up burning out.

I know there's been a lot of elder bashing on this thread, but my experience over a couple of decades in several congregations and having been married to an elder for several years has been this:

There are a few power-tripping elders who are nosy, meddle into everyone's business and dominate the other elders on the body. Usually the power-tripping ones are P.O./Coordinator. The majority of elders I knew were genuinely trying to help and genuinely cared about the congregation.

I know my husband and I regularly bought groceries or medicine for elderly ones, planned outings with single parent families and visited/called people who were sick.

My husband did spend sleepless nights worrying about how the decisions that the body of elders had made (the coordinator) was going to affect the ones involved. He even tried speaking to the CO / the branch because of how the coordinator was handling different situations. Of course, he was just told to leave it in Jeh's hands and to keep being humble. I found out later that it didn't only bother him, but it bothered the other elders on the body. Their hands were tied. Decisions weren't even being made by a majority vote - the dominating coordinator who felt was in charge won.

As an elder's wife, I often ate dinner alone. He'd be tied up on hour long telephone calls and long meetings. He hated all of it but felt guilty for being "selfish" and for not appreciating this "privilege". Not all elders are in it for the prestige/power. Some feel like they can't justify saying no. And they really want to help. I feel really sad for most elders. They actually do give up so much, and, for what?

straightshooter

I know of many elders who bent over backwards to help those in the cong in need. When I was an elder most of the body really cared about the flock. But I agree with brokethechains remarks. There was one elder, who was not the coordinator, who was the most vocal, arrogant, bossy elder in the body. He thought he was the boss and expressed it. Though he cared for the flock and helped them, the flock did not know that he was a pain in the rear for the boe.

May 15 2013 WT: "REAL elders skip meals and lose sleep!"

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