I'm sure the Messiah ( If Lars is the One! ) can handle being 'crucified' on an internet discussion board- after all, it's not nearly as painful as the real thing!
Lars: Can we examine your Messiah qualifications ?
by mP 26 Replies latest watchtower bible
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MrFreeze
I've bumped the thread CageFighter... Also, here is a link to it:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/beliefs/206077/3/SHOCKING-2nd-Coming-details
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Larsinger58
I jjust got back on the net and just saw this thread!! Sorry to have ignored it all this time.
But I'm AMAZED! All of a sudden, someone seems to making the academic choice here. If someone makes a claim to be the Christ, then try to disqualify them or confirm them, right? That's what we need to be doing! We know that 99.9% of the christs will be false, but it's the easy way out to just dismiss every christ wannabe! At some point, you need to know who the true Christ is.
So you want to compare me to the Bible's Christ? So that means you have to know what to expect. Two big issues are WHEN and WHAT MANNER will Christ return? When is he supposed to return? and will he return in the flesh or invisibly? You have to answer those questions before you decide who is the true christ or not, right?
I DON'T QUALIFY ON EVERY SINGLE THING!
Sorry, there is one thing prophesied about me that doesn't quite fit. It is at Isa 53 where it says:
? 2 And he will come up like a twig before one, and like a root out of waterless land. No stately form does he have, nor any splendor; and when we shall see him, there is not the appearance so that we should desire him.
Okay. We are now looking at what the Bible claims about the 2nd coming messiah. Isaiah 53 describes the PHYSICAL APPEARANCE of the messiah at the second coming. The first coming messiah is perfect. The second coming messiah is imperfect and thus described as being sickly and having a startling appearance. The above reference describes him like a "twig" which is a reference to being both thin and gay. A "branch" or "twig" or "sprout" is a euphemism for a eunuch. A eunuch, generally, is sterile and thus the end of his family "tree" and so he is like a branch or twig.
Now, I am of slender build, so I'm like a twig in that way. So that part of true. But the part in the Bible suggesting that I'm average looking doesn't apply. That's because I'm fkg gorgeous! I used to hang out with Brad Pitt all the time in my earlier days and the women would go wild over him, but when I was with him, nobody noticed him, they all wanted ME! So I'm not sure why the Bible represents me as average looking and that "we should [not] desire him" -- meaning don't expect a pin-up if you get to see the messiah in person.
NOT!! You know I don't know Brad Pitt! So I was just making that up. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I fit this description. How do I know. Because I used to have a gorgeous roommate and I know how people responded to him. I know how people are attracted to attractive people. They would not respond to me that way. You know, I know my value in that setting. I see people passing me by. Even my lover told me once that I was not attractive. So I am indeed average looking.
But Isa 53, the reference to the physical appearance of the messiah was read by the Ethiopian eunuch! So that connects the appearance of Christ in the minds of some, with the physical appearance of the Ethiopian eunuch. So if the Bible is trying to imply that Christ will have the specirfic appearance of an Ethiopian eunuch, then it means that one would expect the messiah to be black and effeminate. So...
Here's how I look:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taLUfGYBjJ8
Also note that Isa 53 says "3 He was despised and was avoided by men.." Sometimes "men" or "mankind" refers to the entire population including women, but taken specifically, this would refer to the reality of someone effeminate and physically akward. A very effeminate male often make straight men and even gay men uncomfortable and they don't want to be seen with you. Even now, my male cousins get some flack when I'm seen with them since they think they might be gay as well, etc. So that part came true as well.
But having noted that, the link of Isa 53 with the "Ethiopian eunuch" sets up the physical appearance of the messiah matching that of an Ethiopian eunuch in appearance, meaning a gay black male, or at least an effeminate black male. So YOU DECIDE if I fit that description. If not, then move on. BUT... you can't move backward at this point. Whomever you think is the true messiah must have this appearance of not being that attractive and as well looking like an Ethiopian eunuch.
Of coursse, this alone elimintaes a very large segment of possibles claiming to be the messiah. So let's see if we can build from here!!
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Larsinger58
IMPORTANT ISSUE: DOES CHRIST RETURN IN THE FLESH?
Well, we all know that "unfermented cakes" represent the PHYSICAL body of Christ at the first coming, that is, a perfect body without sin. That's the context of the first wave offering of the firstfruits. But there is a first and second coming, thus a second wave offering relating to the 2nd coming and that wave offering is the one that occurs at Pentecost. That wave offering is different. The bread is from the house made with leaven, which means it is a sinful body. Christ is perfect and sinless, of course, so for him to be in a sinful body at the second coming, it simply means he uses the body of one of his imperfect followers. It's just that simple.
So not only does the second wave offering confirm that Christ must return in the FLESH it is specifically an imperfect body. It just so happens the person chosen was ME, and so Christ is now in the body of the "Ethiopian eunuch", a gay black male in appearance.
That's what the Bible requires. Now reject ME if I don't fit this criteria. But you can't reject the Bible's reference to the physical nature and appearance of the Christ when he arrives. You have to start there. If I'm not the one you like, you have to start looking for some other gay black messiah. if you don't, then you are looking for the wrong Christ -- it's just that plain and simple.
After you figure out what to expect, then you can deal with the chronology of the Christ. You can start with this recent link I just posted:
http://jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/bible/246303/1/1992-Second-Coming-3-prophecies-fulfilled\
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cptkirk
do you have any pictures posted of yourself lars?
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Honesty
Lars have you been forgetting to take your medicine again?
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mP
Lars:
If you wish to bring up other qualifications thats fine, but in the spirit of good manners, i did ask my question first. I think its fair to say that more people are aware of the basic qualification question that i posed and would consider it a good basic test.
So are you a descendant of King David ? Its an easy YES and NO question, you either are or your not. If you are NOT then you cant be the messiah, its that simple. Since i dont have access to any equipment nor do i have a specimen containing your DNA or King Davids i will need to take your word.
You might very well pass some other tests but if you fail the King David ancestry test you fail everything.
So whats the answer, no essays. We can discuss you rother qualifications ata nother time, but in the interest of some structure answer my question and then we can make progress on other points of interest. ?
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Larsinger58
Only this one and a couple others. But also this one:
http://www.singsnap.com/karaoke/watchandlisten/play/b79abcd9a
But you have a video of me which should be enough, right?
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Larsinger58
Hi mP:
Lars:
If you wish to bring up other qualifications thats fine, but in the spirit of good manners, i did ask my question first. I think its fair to say that more people are aware of the basic qualification question that i posed and would consider it a good basic test.
So are you a descendant of King David ? Its an easy YES and NO question, you either are or your not. If you are NOT then you cant be the messiah, its that simple. Since i dont have access to any equipment nor do i have a specimen containing your DNA or King Davids i will need to take your word.
You might very well pass some other tests but if you fail the King David ancestry test you fail everything.
So whats the answer, no essays. We can discuss you rother qualifications ata nother time, but in the interest of some structure answer my question and then we can make progress on other points of interest. ?
Oh, okay. I'll let you conduct the inquiry.
No, I am not a descendant of King David. The 2nd coming messiah must be a descendant of Joseph, not David. The first-coming messiah is a descendant of King David. The scepter remains in the tribe of Judah until Shiloh comes. At that point, it shifts to the tribe of Joseph. So in order to be the true messiah, I must be a descendant of the tribe of Joseph and thus part Egyptian.
So am I a descendant of Joseph, from the tribe of Ephraim? Well, I'm supposed to be. Proving that will likely be confirmed later. Some from the 1st Century who had records of their lineage were allowed to live down to our time and then marry into indigenous tribes around the globe. They likely had multiple wives and large families in the beginning so that by the time Christ arrives in 1992 there could be one or two million descendants from which to choose the 12,000 from each tribe.
So, I respectfully answer your question but, being a descendant of the tribe of Judah is not a test for the 2nd coming messiah, it is a test for the 1st-coming messiah. So please update that concept.
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mP
LARS:
Oh, okay. I'll let you conduct the inquiry.
No, I am not a descendant of King David. The 2nd coming messiah must be a descendant of Joseph, not David. The first-coming messiah is a descendant of King David. The scepter remains in the tribe of Judah until Shiloh comes. At that point, it shifts to the tribe of Joseph. So in order to be the true messiah, I must be a descendant of the tribe of Joseph and thus part Egyptian.
mP:
Cal me a skeptic but you have made a lot of statements and typed a lot of words without a single scripture.
ANothe flaw in your response is you state taht you are the 2nd Messiah. If you check the Bible you will find doznes of messiahs. Every king and priest was a messiah. Saul when he was selected to be the first king was the a messiah. Im dumbfounded how Gods messiah would know this basic fact.
Where does the Bible say messiahs come from Joseph ?
Why would Jehovah really think that simply having the right "dad" makes anyone more worthy ? Nobody believes that Queen Elizabeth really is special, or theres such a thing as royal blood. That nonsense has outlived our more englightened times.