by Splash 31 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Once baptised, apart from death there are really just two ways to leave the congregation: DF or DA.
But notice this quote:
"Does he really desire to disassociate himself, or does he simply no longer want to associate actively with the congregation?"
- Shepherd the Flock of God (2010) p. 111
Does this mean you can simply 'no longer associate actively'?, thus retaining contact with your family and friends?
Is this recognising the Fade?
Splash
One of our elders has a daughter who, when she was a regular pioneer, married a non-Witness, and then "faded" totally. (obviously, she lost her 'privilege')
Elder dad & Witness mother have always kept in regular social contact with the daughter and her family, so there is apparently absolutely no problem with just fading, as opposed to opening your big mouth and revealing why you don't want association!
There's a time to "keep quiet", and this is it!!!!!! (Proverbs 11:12; Ecclesiastes 3:7)
Trust no one with your reasons - especially not your Witness family members.
The Watchtower Society could float away from your concerns:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSYeAf0bmPU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsJUFqWm6r4
The Searcher >>> very true.
Trust no one with your reasons - especially not your Witness family members.
Splash , the next bit after the bit you quoted says :
"If he is adamant in his position, he should be encouraged to put his request in writing and sign it. If he does not, then the witnesses to his request should prepare a statement for the confidential files and sign it. "
So, if you meet with at least two Elders or two others hear you say you no longer wish to be associated, you will be DA'd.
The advice in the paragraph you quote is just telling Elders to ask awkward questions, and if they can, then get rid of you one way or the other.
A fade without telling anyone anything is the only effective "Third Way" but you have to be cunning and very careful to pull it off.
If you want to do this and you get over the loyalty questions, you must reply in the affirmative if they ask you "Do you still consider yourself one of Jehovah's Witnesses".
For completeness, under the section "Implications of Disassociation" (p.111) it says:
Making known a firm decision to be known no longer as one of Jehovah's Witnesses.
If the individual is agreeable, the committee should first try to speak with him and provide spiritual assistance. (GaL 6:1) Does he really desire to disassociate himself, or does he simply no longer want to associate actively with the congregation? Is the desire to disassociate prompted by doubts or discouragement? If he is adamant in his position, he should be encouraged to put his request in writing and sign it. If he does not, then the witnesses to his request should prepare a statement for the confidential files and sign it.
To me this is saying that if he is adamant in his position to disassociate he should be encouraged to put his request in writing, since the previous sentence talks about his desire to disassociate.
The whole section is speaking of how to handle disassociation, with a mention of an alternative - simply no longer associating with the congregation.
Splash.
Yes I agree that it may be a tacit recognition that a "fade" is an option that some use, but my advice above is solid. You cannot simply say to two JW's, especially if one or both is an Elder, that you no longer wish to associate with the congregation, and then no action is taken against you.
You must not say the words "I no longer wish to associate".
If you wish to fade you must give assurance that you have no gripes and intend returning ASAP. All that may technically be lies, but that is what you have to do if you do not want to be DF'd or DA'd.
There is no third way in practical terms that is allowed by the WT, if there were, people would leave in droves. Today.
There is no way to leave this cult with dignity.
"Cults shoot their wounded"
My understanding of the Org's position is this - they despise "faders", because they can't be Scripturally ostracised - they're untouchable!!
Hence the statement, "he should be encouraged (co-erced, pressured) to put his request in writing and sign it. If he does not, then the witnesses to his request (whether they want to or not!) should prepare a statement for the confidential files and sign it."
Take the "5th" regarding a "meeting", and give personal mental health reasons for not doing so: e.g. "I've been suffering much angst and mild depression recently, and I really couldn't sit down and discuss all the stresses which I'm feeling right now. I would hope that this cloud is going to lift in the not-too-distant future, but until that time comes, I just want time to get myself together. Thank you for your concern and empathy as I try to deal with my situation.
I would agree that "fading" or becoming "inactive" is the third way to leave. IMO i believe this to be the best option for ones that one to keep a cordial relationship with family and friends.
A few elders will read this as: if they no longer want to associate actively leave them alone. Most elders will read it as: if they no longer want to associate actively stay on them until you can bring them back to the fold or they DA.
