Elders- Have any of You faded Because of participating in a JC where the Arguments from the accused made sense to you? (page 3)

wha happened?

well we do have quite a number of ex elders. Perhaps some could put some thoughts together on this

Bob_NC

I was just thinking how horrible it must be to sit in front of 3 elders and have to tell the most intimate things about yourself. Ugh!!

I did aplogize to two DFd people whose committees I sat on. One went to her mother's house crying and upset saying that Brother Me had left the truth. I didn't tell her I had left the truth, I told her wasn't "like that" any more about not speaking.

Not a JC, but one early 20s pioneer sister came to me with a confidential matter that she said she needed to confess. I am proud of me for this one, if nothing else. She was red faced and embarrassed. She said that she has a problem with masturbation, that she has prayed about it and not matter how she tries just can't seem to stop. She knew it was ruinning her relationship with Jehovah so forth and so on. I referred her to an Awake! article that I knew mentioned masturbation but did have that condemnatory stance. Then told her that thousands of single people before her have had the same desires. And that I saw her as normal. In fact, not having desires is not normal. In that respect she could be thankful for having a normal functioning body. She moved away soon after that and got married. I hope she is doing well.

jwfacts

What a great question. I would love to hear of Elders that were affected by "apostate" comments at a JC.

Quendi

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Theocratic Sedition

I dont know if one can expect a ton of responses regarding JCs involving apostasy. I always figured most JCs involved pornea. Apostasy always seemed to me like something of an urban legend until I started reading personal accounts online. I will say the handful of investigative situations I dealt with and one JC left a humbling effect upon me. The JC for one involved a young couple not yet engaged, that had an instance of fingering. Here we are, three brothers in the library at the KH on a Monday night asking for specifics about what happened on the sofa. Two older 60ish brothers and me barely in my thirties who only several years prior had done my fair share of the same activities we're judging her for. Felt like biggest hypocrite and really should have excused myself but fear can be a mutha. Couple years after that I gave a talk at her congregation and she hugged me like we were related. It surprised me because I figured she should have hated me. Heck, I hated me during her JC. On a positive note, she wasn't DF'd at the time. Just given private a private reproof. To the other brothers' credit, they suggested she go out the door from the library entrance so that nobody at the hall from another congregation would know her business. I went and looked out ahead of her and gave her the signal to come now where a car was awaiting. Real clandestine like that night.

Another situation involved an older sister who recieved a blood transfusion. The body designated an older brother with experience and myself investigate as they all came to the conclusion that it would be good experience for me. We talked with her following a meeting. You could tell she was concerned and worried about us looking to initiate a JC with her being the subject. At the time of the incident, she had significant health problems which my partner was well aware of. Still as he put it "we have to ensure the congregation is clean before Jehovah's eyes as a serious transgression has taken place." The question was whether she willingly accepted a transfusion or was it given while she was unconscious with latter being her answer and corroborated by her one relative who contradicted her at one point. At the end of the day we counseled her and the body agreed to put the matter to rest. While this isnt an apostasy situation that pricked my conscience, it was a situation that left me questioning the purpose of elders.

Londo111

I can see the Watchtower aricle now: "Unconsciousness…is it for Christians?"

Pickler

This is interesting, I never thought about the cost to the psyche of the elders who sit on the JC.

Im also amazed when I hear about people who go to the elders with problems, they really expect help? Or feel better for confessing their sins like in a Catholic Church? I feel like this is similar to going to the Police to confess a crime.

I feel sad for you guys too, not all elders obviously!!!! But I see how you are trying to do your best, they are always asking you to "reach out". Before you know it you are sitting in a JC, listening to things you don't want to hear, making decisions you don't want to make.

I'm sorry about this

inbetween

I remember my first JC, I was more nervous than the poor sister, she was accused of adultery, her husband already forgave her, and i have to say, the presiding elder of the JC was quite compassionate and did not go into details. However, I still felt weird, three brothers judging over one sister...

Then I had a couple of other porneia cases, where the bros/sis confessed and more or less wanted to establish their relationship to jehovah. in those cases the JC was more for comforting than judging them.

However, in one of the elder school I attended the title of a program part was about how to judge with justice, and I thought by myself, that Jesus said, we should not judge. i hateed elder schools anyway, and this part in particular.

Then I had two different cases, which were steps to my waking up ( I needed more steps, since I was deep asleep ;-)

One was my first case, that ended in disfellowshipping. there was really no room for a decision otherwise, since the sister lived togther with someone, and had no intnetion to break up her relationship. However, I felt really bad afterwards for a long time, thinking, who am I to make such a decision...

The other case involved a young brother, babtized as a a child, and becomeing a teen, he kind off faded form the meetings, and started his own life. Actually the elders would have not pressured him, but his parents, uber-witnesses, wanted clearance and turned him in. He refused to attend a meeting, but he was kind of pressured to write a DA-letter, which results in a formal JC. In this situation I refused to be even part of this formal JC out of conscietous reasons, because he was too young when he was babtized. My fellow eldersa accepted my stance, however, i doubt they really understood, what i meant. They perhaps thought, i was handicapped, because I was close to this young brother, which was true to some extent, but this was nt the reason of my refusal.

All this expereince in time showed me, there is something wrong with the whole concept, but I didnt know what. Only information on the internet lifted the veil completely.

inbetween

oups, sorry just realized the typos, writing too fast while working

truthlover

Bump In case there are other elders, i e Winston Smith, etc. Winston Churchill --- etc. who would want to comment on their leaving the org due to involvement of judging others in a JC... So far, it seems that this is a devasting experience for those with emphathy towards those who have had to appear before a tribunal of "strangers" really - exposing their deepest embarassments Appreciate all the comments so far, thanks eveyone TL

Elders- Have any of You faded Because of participating in a JC where the Arguments from the accused made sense to you?

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