Girl scout cookies are demonized

by Gojira_101 50 Replies latest jw friends

  • tiki
    tiki

    when i was in the second grade i came home and told my mother i was going to be a brownie (pre girl-scout).....she told me i couldn't because they make you salute the flag and they are patriotic. i was crushed, of course...the only kid in the class who couldn't be a brownie.....and back then, the little girls all wore their brownie dress on brownie meeting days, and there i was in civilian clothes.....no wonder i grew up to be such a loner.

    as for the cookies, in my adulthood as a jw i bought them....ate them....and never thought twice about it. in fact i probably enjoyed it as a secret revenge.

  • Gojira_101
    Gojira_101

    Good morning peeps (lol...I just got done reading the "new light" on how peeps are pagan to eat...I'm still laughing on that one).

    Wow I'm surprised I'm at 2 pages already. I love all your comments and they have made me laugh! I needed a good laugh this morning. When I get home later I will be going out to buy me some evil, demonized cookies.

    Actually I'm wondering if I should go buy Kebler Fudge Grasshopper cookies instead?.......Oh wait a minute....Elves make them and use magic to cook them.....We all know Elves are related to Smurfs......bloody hell...I can't eat the grasshopper cookies now!

    What is WTBT$ going to take from me next? Lottery stcrachers?.....Shoot....they already took that!

    Wait I can do "69" with my husband or various "positions"....Shoot, we can't do that either.

    At the next convention I can use two paper towels.....oh shoot, that's right I can only use one....well I can get some chips or candy from the vending machine...dang it! That's right there will be an Attendant guarding it....I wonder if I could get a wind up smurf toy and stand out of sight and set it to where it will walk in front of the attendant to "scare" him away so I can get to the vending machine.

    G

  • Mum
    Mum

    I think girl scout cookies should be passed around at the Memorial (particularly to the kids) and everyone should partake. Memorial attendance would soar!

  • Newly Enlightened
    Newly Enlightened

    You are all hilarious! My stomach hurts from laughing so hard.

    Thanks alot, now I have to go get some minty, fudge cookies!!!

  • MrFreeze
    MrFreeze

    We should stop eating Keebler products because they are made from magic elves.

    So hilarious that I knew people that wouldn't eat Count Chocula/Franken Berry/Boo Berry/Lucky Charms because they were demonized.

  • quincy_aka_quentin
    quincy_aka_quentin

    Gee, what a Pandora Box you opened. Now lets see, what else is demonised?

    eggs, they are the embryo of chickens, gotta have blood in them.

    CrackerJacks, will turn you homosexual. Want to play Sailor?

    Dog and Cat food, there's that blood issue again. You know those manufactures are not saddled with the restrictions of food producers.

    Angry Birds, worse than Smurfs, makes your child sullen, angry and mean to small animals.

    Books, or any literature not written by wtbts, sisters get rid of those Romance novels, turn you into a shameless hussy.

    Inter-net, doorway to darkness. Demons on every page, all sites overloaded with them.

    College, full of demons lurking behind doors ready to pounce on any jw who dares set foot on school grounds.

    Music, TV, after school activities, movies, Doctors, medicine. Scary world out there, nothing is sacred, being awash with Demons. All you can do is hunker down in your home amongst stacks of currently approved wt literature, yes, currently approved. Seems those pesky Demons have found a way to infiltrate old publications.

    Make a mad dash to the car while swinging your NWT about like a battle ax. Peel out, drive as fast as you can ( perhaps you can out run the Demons ) to the kh. The Ark of Salvation. The only place that has no Demons, even though you can hear them skid-ling about like small packs of rats, some even calling out YOUR name. You are safe though, in the arms of Jehovah the elders and gb. Oh, and do be careful what you dream, never ever speak of it to anyone, you see a Demon might hear and torment you with nightmares.

  • Balaamsass
    Balaamsass

    The Mrs bought 2 boxes yesterday! She told me it was the first time in her life......! She realized how ridiculous the Rutherford era prohibition was....and found the cookies yummy.

    No doubt some JW saw her and she will be hunted down

  • Gojira_101
    Gojira_101

    MrFreeze: When I read your comment to my husband, he died laughing and said "I would do whatever I could to get one of those cerals and eat it like a demon" See clearly then no true Christian would want to eat this ceral. Quincy: When I read your post I was laughing hysterically, but then I realized how true it is. Dude that last part nearly killed me. "Swinging your NWT about like a battle ax." I'm still laughing because I'm actually picturing some of my JW family doing that. Balaamsass: A JW saw your wife and she will be hunted down as a witch and burned at the stake because she bought those evil cookies. I don't know why but the scene from Monty Python's Search for the Holy Grail just poped into my mind were the villagers are wanting to burn the witch and their logic is well stupid and I could picture some of the JW's, using that same logic. "Burn her, burn the witch." "How do you know she is a witch" "She looks like one" The woman: "These aren't my clothes, they dressed me in these" "Did you dress her in these clothes?" "No, no, no...well maybe, yes we did dress her in these." Or something like that. And as you read those lines, you have to say them in the British accent, because I was saying these lines in a British accent while typing.

  • bsmart
    bsmart

    Read the first page last night, and today I went to Walmart and those evil girlscouts and those stacks of cookies were out front. I went right up and got myself some thin mints and the $7.00 for two boxes was a bargain! Num!

  • Heaven
    Heaven

    I love the chocolate ones. But haven't seen any Girl Scouts yet.

    Actually I'm wondering if I should go buy Kebler Fudge Grasshopper cookies instead?.......Oh wait a minute....Elves make them and use magic to cook them.....We all know Elves are related to Smurfs......bloody hell...I can't eat the grasshopper cookies now!

    I think the Keebler Elves have secretly hired on Sparlock, the Warrior Wizard. Yep, that's why he's gone 'missing'. The Keebler Elves also make Jehovah 'sad'. They have a magic oven.

    Keebler Elf

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