With appreciation of the "Are Cats for True Christians?" people...
Are Peeps for True Christians?
Many conscientious ones among Jehovah's people today have wondered if Christians should eat Peeps. The issue is of life-or-death importance since to stumble a brother that Christ died for is tantamount to "putting a millstone around the neck and being threat into the sea". Clearly our eternal salvation is involved.
There are numerous reasons why a Loyal Dedicated Servant of God should use their Bible-trained conscience to arrive at a proper understanding of why Peeps are not for Christians. Consider the following facts with an open mind:
1) Most scholars agree the word Peep comes from the original Greek, “Chickos Marshmallus” meaning literally "a confection in the shape of domesticated bird with all of its beastly identifying characteristics and behavior." Clearly, the Bible, by using this kind of original Greek, shows beyond a doubt that the basic nature of Peeps is evil or "fowl".
2) It was a common practice in ancient Pagan cultures to worship Peeps as gods along with the Easter Bunny. As Christians we are to "guard ourselves from idols" and "worship no other gods". Such fowl influence could lead to idolatry and thereby "grieve Jehovah's spirit" with tragic consequences.
3) Peeps were most likely present at Herod's birthday party when John the Baptist was beheaded. In fact, the Greek scholar John Windowasher said, “Based on the original Greek used in the context of this scripture, it is probable Herod had just bitten the head off a Peep, which gave him the idea to behead John." Clearly then, as loyal Christians, why would we even want to associate with animals that are without a doubt of such bad influence remembering "bad associations spoil useful habits"? To invite Peeps in our house may result in the same grave consequences as suffered by John the Baptist. Clearly, God disapproved of this party. Should we not then disapprove of Peeps the way God does? Surely!
4) Some youth who fell prey to the temptation of Peeps found themselves eating more and more of the sugary confection. Joshua,
17, said, “They were so soft, sweet and tasty. I found myself wanting more and more, eventually giving in. It felt like my stomach was a bottomless pit that no amount of Peeps could fill. I even found myself missing meetings and field service just so I could eat more of them. Soon I found myself masturbating and even considering buying a Sparlock doll.” Satan is referred to as “the father of the bottomless pit”. (Revelation 9:11) Should we then imitate Satan by eating too much candy?
5) Nowhere in the Bible are any type of Peeps spoken of in favorable terms. In fact was it not hens who were spoken of as being disobedient in the first century? “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you would not!" (Matthew 23:37)
6) The scriptures clearly indidated that neither Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Job, the Apostles , or Jesus himself ate a Peep. This was most likely because they didn't want to be like the Pagan contemporaries of their day who showed no regard for how God feels about eating candy disguised as baby chickens. In harmony with the pattern set by the faithful prophets of old, surely it would not be fitting for a Christian today to eat a Peep.
6)Have you ever wondered why the inside is so light and fluffy? Peeps contain gelatin, which is a by-product of the meat industry. How can we be certain the animals are bled correctly? Hosea, an elder who used to work in a meat packing plant, said, "I heard they make the inside of the Peeps by hiding blood cells inside. My Bible-trained conscience does not allow me to risk eternal salvation just for a few moments of pure ecstasy."
7) Finally, birds are unclean animals. Some unclean practices indulged in by Peeps include eating gravel, defacating on the ground, sexual misconduct without the benefit of marriage, and violently pecking their peers, just to name a few. Uncleanness is one of the "works of the flesh" condemned by the apostle Paul. The Bible clearly shows that "fornicators ...will not inherit the Kingdom". In addition Paul admonishes us to "quit mixing in company" with such unclean ones. Although the Apostle Paul was speaking primarily about Christians who fell into sin, there is no reason to conclude that this Inspired Biblical principle can not be applied to association with Peeps. Uncleanness is condemned by Jehovah and the fact that the Apostle Paul made no distinction when it came to associating with house Peeps proves beyond a doubt that Loyal Christians must avoid all association with such animals.
Are we not grateful for this new light coming from God's organization? Sister Peepless tells us that since getting rid of her Peep she has not had to be preoccupied with flossing her teeth and now has a lot more time to go pioneering. Brother Nopeep puts it this way, "I'm so grateful that God freed me of the burden of eating a Peep. I hope all of the brothers will realize how the devil uses Peeps to corrupt us and distract from the preaching work." (Matt 24:14) What fine examples of faithfulness! As loyal followers of Christ's thinking on this matter, we can rejoice in the fact that in the new system God will reward all of our efforts to maintain integrity by loyally submitting to the leading of his spirit through the "Faithful and discreet slave".
