Is this how we want to be perceived?

by Joyzabel 45 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Joyzabel

  This quote is from someone who lurk’s on jwd!

  “Sorry for the long email, but this has been therapeutic and I just may post this on the DB one day. (lol) But I have to get up the nerve, because those people can be a little mean at times.”

  This is from a sincere person who reads here and this is how this person feels. I sit here and wonder how to help ones like this person to join us.

  In contrast, I just got done reading a syrupy letter from a “brother”:

  “The obviuos question this article brings is where are the charges of us mishandling the pedophile stem from? Apostates. Not that this isn't happening, and isn't a problem due to the req. of 2 witnesses. But as the news here is full of priests who are covered up by the church, is not the apostates point is to try to show Jw in the same light? And is that not what satan wants?
  After seeinf many of my friends succomb to apostate ideas and leaving the truth, I worry about what is the real point of these type of charges being brought out? is it to help the victim's or to slander Jw's?”

  Between the two letters, I cringe at the “brother’s” letter, knowing he is a true believer and will not really respond to our revealing any tr00th to him. But it pains me to think and I have to agree, that like many, myself included that when I first started lurking here that the atmosphere is interpreted as being mean. I realize that we all have to develop a thick skin in dealing with other people and not to be so sensitive, but I wonder if being mean is how we want to be perceived?

  j2bf
• 

  COMF

  We be ourselves, and people perceive it however they will. There is maturity in freedom. And there is freedom in maturity.

  COMF
• 

  bitter mango

  hi joy ! i agree that many here tend to come across as "mean" to newbies and to those still in the 'truth'. i think this all stems from being frustrated about knowing that there are still people out there who believe in the trash that the org feeds them. and then there are the differences in beliefs that cause tension between posters here. newbies and people who defend the org have to understand that most of the people here have been very hurt by the org. but then again, the posters already here have to understand that these people who come here defending the org are exactly like THEY -used- to be. we all need more patience and need to be more tolerant of differences

  anyways, i think that this lurker should come out and say hello on the board.

  (¯`·.¸the agents of oblivion descend upon the sane¸.·´¯)
• 

  refiners fire

  Well of course this place comes across like Babel,and it can be very ruthless and cruel. the cruelty is a part of human nature, especially where people who have low opinions of themselves are concerned.They like to put others down.
  The big advantage with this place is that it is completely open debate.
  You can float any wild idea you may hold here. If a mass of people pile on howling down your idea, I think you can conclude that it will be howled down ANYWHERE. This is a pretty good place to learn things about yourself, things you might not like to admit. When you learn them, you have options to change your behaviour. Ive discovered very little about the Organization here, I already knew it before I came,
  but Ive learnt things about myself. These have been learnt in the cut and thrust. Some very important lessons have been taught to me by people I dont personally like.
  This is a valuable place.
• 

  Bodhisattva

  As to the letter from a brother, two points. First, silentlambs already tried the kid gloves route of trying to bring attention to this problem without being critical of the WTS otherwise. We saw what it got him, and how quickly the pat WTS answer of 'you should focus on something else' came to the fore.

  Second, the mass of responses to articles about molestation by Catholic priests, including that by Catholics, has called for abolishing the celibacy requirement or allowing women in the priesthood, which would address both the misogyny prevalent in the hierarchy and the shortage of priests. Putting aside from the argument that child sexual abuse is more about power than about sexuality, it is only realistic to expect people to point fingers at forbidding to marry and limiting the roll of women. After all, these policies are simply wrong from a modern viewpoint.

  Likewise is it only realistic to expect fingers to be pointed at the policies of "protecting the congregation" - which quickly devolves into protecting the organization, not the individual members - and shunning, and the bad implementation with the two witnesses rule that essentially requires waiting for a predator to abuse a second child, or several more until one comes forward. These are dumb-ass policies and, like those mentioned in regard to priests, contribute to the problem.
• 

  bigboi

  mmmmmm, LURKER, the other, other, other white meat.

  I know I've learned a great deal about ppl in general visiting this place. I think this mean exterior is good for the average jw who may have been sheltered from how things can be in the real world. Like most ppl we tend to have a tough exterior, but once u get to know some of the ppl here, you'll see that their not all that bad. Or all that good in some cases. That's life for ya though!

  ONE....

  bigboi
• 

  Amazing

  I think most of the 'mean' ones have moved on to other forums ... at least this appears to be the case since early March.

  Following Bible principles, we will avoid trying to live - or demand others to live - by an extensive and rigid set of dos and don'ts that go beyond the teachings of the Bible. The Watchtower, 4-15-02, pg 22, pp 15
• 

  refiners fire

  A controversial utterance Amazing.
  A large number of the "intellectuals" arent around much either, in case you havent noticed...
• 

  Francois

  Let me point out that accurately describing criminal behavior is never considered "slander" as you have stated. Are you saying that you think it is wrong for anyone to warn others that child molesters are being sent to their doors posing as ministers? Are you nuts?

  Knowing of a crime and not reporting it is a crime itself. Not warning others about criminals on the loose in their neighborhoods is immoral and unethical. Are you saying that reporting such things is wrong because it tells the truth about the organization of Jehovah's Witnesses and what they are NOT doing?

  Your priorities are totally upside down. Your sense of proportion is non-existant. You have been brainwashed by the ceaseless propaganda of the WTBTS. I feel pity for you.

  Francois
• 

  orangefatcat

  I agree with Amazing, hostility has somewhat abated. Especially since the Robert Bryant family story broke. No one I believe intends to be mean, but some have had only bad experiences while in the org. And yes the organization has some explaining to do.
  We all want to be heard and say our bit. I think some here get their dander up, because they don't know the full story or they are really angry because of the injustices of the WTBS. Whatever reasons there are for appearing mean and cruel, some have put a protective fortress around themselves and don't intend for anyone to enter their domain. Please and speaking for myself being kind and civil is far better than outrage and meaness. You get more flies with honey than vinegar.
  Lets make it our resolve to be nicer to one another.

  Hind sight is 20/20
  Procrastination is the thief of time!!