Is this how we want to be perceived? (page 3)

ISP

I don't see it as a mean place. There are some conflicts..but nothing to write home about.

ISP

waiting

Howdy joy,

I think any xjw place would be slightly awkward for a jw - whether questioning or defending. It seems natural for a person to defend their belief system - at least initially.

I do think we can all strive to be civil. When a person comes here to chat - I don't think they're looking for deep intellectual conversation exclusively - we're strangers. Besides that, how many jw's do we know that are that deep?

There are excellent websites available to research the WTBTS - some exclusively devoted to WTBTS quotes only. Many people just want to make contact with others who know about jw's. Thus, the terms discussion forum and *chat.

This forum was started as a place to talk - that's it! And we do, and like a dysfunctional family - we survive.

It is quieter over here - but it's quiet over there too. Perhaps this is a start to something good for the majority of us?

waiting

outcast

Good analogy Waiting,

It's like when you observe daycare for toddlers, you break up the agressive ones, have them stand in the corner, and peace is restored.

The weird thing is, those agressive toddlers become the great ones in our lives, the ones who keep being agressive to get things acomplished.

Long live the ones who fight for what they believe in!

If new ones are looking for answers, they will keep coming back, and reading. If they have a real search for truth and knowledge. (sound familiar?)

The fights will continue. And so will the fights for freedom of expression will continue.

If you have a problem with that, stay with the witnesses.

Remember, they will tell you which songs of praises to god to sing, over and over and over....

terafera2

I think I understand what the 'lurker' was talking about. Not too long ago a question was asked on our personal opinions.
There were some that called me an #$%hole and crazy, retarded, etc... all the while I never spoke nasty or harrassing. The only problem was that my opinion wasn't popular.

I've noticed a pattern of saying 'we're all open minded', yet when a person dares to think outside of the box, they are slammed and crucified.

That may be the problem!

rhett

hmmmmmm.......
Trying to be nice so people who are new or may be outsiders don't get freaked out. Make sure we act nice and acceptable so that people aren't frightened away. Doesn't matter how we may actually be, its how outsiders will perceive us.
Sorry, I'm going to be an ass. I had enough of worrying and censoring myself so outsiders wouldn't think negatively about me or the group back when I was in the cult.
If someone thinks I'm an ass that's fine with me and they can think what they want to think. You can perceive me however you want to but I think its rather ridiculous to be someone I'm not so outsiders and new people don't think bad things about the group. Send this frightened lurker a message to f themselves for me. This is real life here and people aren't going to go hide their true selves away like they do in the cult just so everything will appear nice and friendly.

Back down the bullies to the back of the bus
Its time for them to be scared of us

bitter mango

tera

I've noticed a pattern of saying 'we're all open minded', yet when a person dares to think outside of the box, they are slammed and crucified.

LOLOLOL!!! don't give yourself too much credit dear .. "thinking outside of the box"?!?! bigots have no idea how to do such a thing !

(¯`·.¸the agents of oblivion descend upon the sane¸.·´¯)

plmkrzy

Francis you said amoung other things:

"Let me point out that accurately describing criminal behavior is never considered "slander" as you have stated. Are you saying that you think it is wrong for anyone to warn others that child molesters are being sent to their doors posing as ministers? Are you nuts?"

I'm not sure who you are addressing but since no body answered I'll say something.

What are you talking about?

Gopher

Plm,

Francois was addressing the JW apologist that joy quoted in the first post on this thread. That JW said,

After seeinf many of my friends succomb to apostate ideas and leaving the truth, I worry about what is the real point of these type of charges being brought out? is it to help the victim's or to slander Jw's?

That person is casting aspersions on the forum, by implying that it is slanderous and trying to, in effect, "trick" people into leaving the JW's.

The fact of the matter is, that charges brought out here (such as those related to child abuse, shunning, refusal of life-extending blood transfusions, etc.) are HONEST concerns that people have. We're not just sitting here throwing darts at the WT Society for our own amusement. People are getting needlessly hurt and misled by the unorthodox, unscriptural and heavy-handed policies of the religious organization run by the WT Society.

-J.R., member, UADNA-MN
(Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America - Minnesota division)

This post was not evaluated by any mental health professionals.
Any opinions expressed are those of a fuzzy, cuddly rodent.

Gopher

Joy,

The newbie who was hesitant about signing up to this discussion board said,

I have to get up the nerve, because those people can be a little mean at times.

I think you have to "get up the nerve" to join any group filled with people you don't know. Heck, you have to "get up the nerve" to get going and do ANYTHING meaningful and different in life.

We have several new posters joining every week and enjoying it immensely. Dutchy and Aunty are two such ones, and they are benefitting from and are contributing meaningfully to this forum. Why? They "got up the nerve".

And I don't recall seeing them being attacked or reproached in any way, shape or manner. People who come here with REAL questions, comments or concerns are usually recognized as genuine and don't raise people's hackles.

It's not a perfect forum. Go see other forums for superficial perfection. Or go to a Kingdom Hall.

People "perceive" us as they wish to. We don't have much control over that, beyond the obvious principle repeatedly propounded by this forum's owner, and that is "be civil". But the vast majority already are.

-J.R., member, UADNA-MN
(Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America - Minnesota division)

This post was not evaluated by any mental health professionals.
Any opinions expressed are those of a fuzzy, cuddly rodent.

Scully

When we were all JWs, we had to walk on eggshells all the time it seems, worrying about what other people think of us, hoping that we never said or did anything to "stumble" someone else. We were never permitted to just "be" who we are, without judgement or criticism.

Lots of us came from that frame of mind, and developed an internal barometer for our standards of behaviour and self esteem. It doesn't happen overnight, and sometimes it takes years to overcome the 'programming' we have to derive self esteem from external sources.

I'm not saying that there haven't been mean people here, but I've found that the best solution is to avoid them. There are plenty of other nice people here... we've got almost 5000 members, surely some of us are nice.

Love, Scully

Is this how we want to be perceived?

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