WTS vs. Star Trek

by Farkel 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    WTS vs. Star Trek

    Star Trek claimed to be fantasy and in fact, was fantasy.
    WTS claims to be the sole truth on earth and in fact, is fantasy.

    Star Trek had Spock who solved problems with logic.
    WTS has a GB who solves problems with bullshit.

    Star Trek had a pompous ass charismatic leader whom everyone loved to watch rant and emote.
    WTS had three pompous ass charismatic leaders whom everyone hated to watch rant and emote.

    Captain Kirk was always saving his people from new disasters.
    WT leaders are always leading its people into new disasters.

    Star Trek made money by always giving its fans the stuff they wanted.
    WTS makes money by always charging its fans for stuff neither they nor anyone else else wants.

    People had fun when Star Trek came on.
    People would rather have a root canal when Meetings come on.

    Star Trek was all about making the cosmos a better place for all.
    WTS is all about making the cosmos a better place for a few and killing everyone else.

    People love to go to Star Trek conventions.
    People would rather be in an earthquake than go to WTS conventions.

    Star Trek had a transporter room.
    People in meetings wish they also had a transporter room.

    Star Trek had lots of insane villains.
    WTS had Judge Rutherford and Fred Franz. Same thing.

    Star Trek also had lots of good guys.
    Good guys are banished from the WTS.

    Star Trek had the Klingons who spoke a bizarre language.
    WTS had Fred Franz who spoke an even more bizarre language.

    Star Trek had all sorts of devices which could cure most any medical problems, but of course, they were science fiction.
    WTS had the Electronic Radio Biola which it sold and said could cure most any medical problem, but of course, that was science fiction.

    Star Trek had floppy disks, computers you could talk to and flat screen monitors all of which were about 50 years ahead-of-their time.
    WTS had vaccines which were called "filthy animal pus", humans hearts which were the seat of all emotions, organ transplants which were cannibalistic, human personalities which were also transferred with blood transfusions and black people turning white by reading their literature, all of which were 100 years BEHIHD-their-time.

    If you missed a few Star Trek episodes in a row, no one came by to harrass you.
    If you miss a few meetings in a row, you are in deep shit.

    Star Trek TV shows and movies are still played all the time, even after 47 years.
    WTS dramas never even play a second time. They are bad enough the first time.

    You won't be punished if you don't believe Star Trek is the fantasy it claims to be.
    You will slaughtered and dead for all eternity if you believe the WTS is the fantasy it claims not to be.

    Star Trek brought all sorts of cultures together in peace and harmony.
    WTS destroys all sorts of families in hate and disharmony.

    Farkel

    P.S. It's no wonder so many dubs are big fans of Star Trek!

  • cobaltcupcake
    cobaltcupcake

    Well done!

  • Apognophos
    Apognophos

    Star Trek had miniskirts, microskirts even!

    WTS requires all skirts to be below the knee.

    Enough said.

  • cptkirk
    cptkirk

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! make this into a tract and i will take it door to door.

  • sabastious
    sabastious

    Star Trek has Captain Picard who captains the Enterprise and discovers new life and new civilizations
    WTS has District Overseers who captain districts and ask for gas money and meals

    Both, however, go where no man has gone before.

    -Sab

  • 00DAD
    00DAD

    What's the difference between a Trekker and a JW?

    [scroll down ...]

    Trekkers know that Star Trek is fiction!

  • ohiocowboy
    ohiocowboy

    That's really funny, Farkel! Hope you are doing well! Here's another:

    Star Trek boldly explores the Galaxy to seek out new life and new civilizations.

    The Watchtower Corporation boldly explores new ways to be a big pain in Uranus.

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    Star Trek has a counselor who can feel what you're feeling and offer pretty decent advice.

    WTS has elders who could care less what you're feeling and offer crappy, emotionally abusive advice.

    Star Trek had Klingon trials where you could hire somebody to represent your case, even in combat if necessary.

    WTS has trials where no one can represent you and you're outnumbered three-to-one.

    Star Trek had the Kobayashi Maru test, which was impossible to pass. (Unless you figure out that you're supposed to retreat, like Troi did, or cheat, like Kirk did.)

    WTS has tests that cheat--the acceptable course of action can change each time you take the same test.

    Star Trek has the Borg, where absolute unity of mind was vital and resistance to it was futile.

    WTS has itself, where absolute unity of mind is vital and resistance to it is futile.

    Star Trek has time travel.

    WTS rewrites history by printing press instead.

    Star Trek has weird energy clouds that like to screw with people for fun.

    WTS has a God/Governing Body that likes to screw with people and is serious about it.

    Star Trek has Spock, who has another name you can't pronounce.

    WTS has Jehovah, whose name isn't being pronounced correctly.

    --sd-7

  • tootired2care
    tootired2care

    I love it!

    Star Trek has hollodecks which provides good entertainment and fun and promotes general happiness.

    WTS, is always finding new a creative ways of twisting scripture to ban all fun and entertaining things in life.

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    This may be the best jwn thread of all time.

    Star Trek has Spock, a benevolent character who can mind meld with you to straighten you out.

    WTS has Sparlock, an evil character whose demons can enter your mind to mess you up.

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