An elder called me.

by Julia Orwell 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • Julia Orwell
    Julia Orwell

    An elder who handled the minor matter with my husband a few weeks ago called to see how we were doing. This guy genuinely is a gentle, kind, man whom the congregation loves. He's the one everyone approaches because he never judges or condescends. He's a true Christian imho so having him speak to me on the phone is no big deal.

    He wanted to know how I was. I assumed he knew about the run-in with the inquisitors,

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/246766/1/Julias-Inquisition-Two-elders-the-full-version-I-want-you-all-to-see-this

    but it was news to him. I told him how emotionally fragile I am and how I got the shakes just talking about it to him. He was very compassionate and apologised for the fact that this young Hot Shot went after me. He was so compassionate on the phone and asked me why I didn't tell him about what they did to me when it happened. I mentioned the deception they pulled to catch me off guard and he is the second elder I've told who thought it was unChristian. I spoke no disrespect of the ones who did this, but told them I have been very stumbled and am suffering trauma. This is true: I never want a man in a tie in my house again. I've been having nightmares again, and that sense of helplessness where you just want to scream. Haven't had that since I broke mental ties with this cult a few months ago.

    I'm confused as. I want out of this damn cult so I can get my thinking straight. I'm fading at the moment but it's such a mess. Argh.

  • whathappened
    whathappened

    I promise you, it gets easier and easier the longer you stay away. When we run into the witnesses/elders, we laugh about it now. Getting out is worth it.

  • Julia Orwell
    Julia Orwell

    That's great news! *like*

  • finally awake
    finally awake

    Escaping from the Borg is no simple feat. I completely understand the fear and anxiety that comes up when you have a run in with the elders or even just regular dubs. It does fade with time, especially when you learn the truth about the truth and realize that they don't have any real power ovver you anymore. I'm finally at the point that I can go about my business without fear, and it's a great feeling.

  • tiki
    tiki

    hang in there - it'll get better. but you do have to be determined and strong in your resolve...........don't let them drive you nutz - it just isn't worth it. remember you are free to do and be what you want to be and you owe no one explanations.

  • LisaRose
    LisaRose

    It sounds like you have PTSD. Having people come in to your home and interrogate you and make a judgement about whether you will be shunned by family and friends is a very traumatic thing. I wouldn't even let the nice elder in your home. However nice he is, he is still a part of this belief system that will judge you if you say anything against the organization.

    Hope things get better and you never hear from these clowns again.

  • WinstonSmith
    WinstonSmith

    Hello Julia,

    Sorry to hear you have not been the best since you got ambushed the other week. These guys have no idea what kind of effect they have on people. Shame on them.

    That was very nice of that elder to call you and check in on you. This is what shepherding should be all about - checking up on the health of the flock. If they were all like this, and motivated by love, and a genuine care for the people, the organisation would not be haemoragging followers. Brothers like this can indeed be like a crag for shelter.

    Telling him how you feel as a result of those other two morons is the right thing to do. If the subject of missing meetings comes up always fall back on being stumbled by these brothersas a reason.

    It's a tough road, but we are all here supporting you.

    Take care :-)

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    Julia,

    Your elder friend is an example of people who are good people DESPITE the WT influence, not BECAUSE of WT influence.

    Yes, there are a few of them left and I have no doubt they are good people and sincere Christians. This just means that before long, either they will wake up and leave or the WTS and its SS Henchmen will drive them away with their jack boots, which is usually accomplished by spiritual execution aka disfellowshipping.

    Farkel

  • flipper
    flipper

    JULIA- Farkel makes a good point in that this elder is just a decent man in spite of the WT Society's direction, not because of it. If he had never evem BECOME a Witness he may have been a decent person anyway. There are lots of decent non-Witnesses out in the real world.

    I suggest to STILL be careful in what you say to even JW elders like this guy who appear to be nice on the outside. They are still heavily indoctrinated to put the WT organization first, then individual JW's needs a distant third or lower on the list. He obviously will report his conversations with you to other more opinionated elders and then the " group think " or influence will be thrust onto him as well.

    So just be cautious and I think you are smart not to let a guy with a tie on back ino your house at all. Their underlying motives are to get you back into the JW cult, not to be your buddy. Just an honest opinion from me. Remember, we'll be here for you every step of the way, O.K. ? I've been through this treatment as well like many of us here have. Hang in there kiddo

  • Hoffnung
    Hoffnung

    And watch out for the good-cop-bad-cop game that is only designed to keep you under the influence. I am not sayinf this one is part of it, but it could very well be.

    Hoffnung

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