An elder called me.

by Julia Orwell 24 Replies latest jw friends

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  Gojira_101

  The one thing you have to keep telling yourself is they have no power and they have no authority! They are just men, I do know it is very stressful, but at the same time..no to be mean, but if they knew you are an "apostate" even the loving elders would HAVE to follow their own counsel and shun you....

  This tactic is all part of the mind control, my cousin just pulled this on me this week. When the guilt trip doesn't work, then they tell you how hurt they are and try to show love, but the fact is they will throw you under the bus so fast you can't even fight it.

  It will get better! I promise! :)

  G
• 

  Julia Orwell

  Hi all,

  The good guys came to my house this time, after calling me and asking if it was ok. I thought, yeah why not?

  There were two of them again, but we all had a cup of tea and chatted about family and random things, and these two friends really are genuine loving guys, and told me that the other elder, the young so-and-so was wrong to attack me like that, and they sincerely offered their assistance in any way. They older one who must be about 67 said things like, "If Jehovah's using this organisation..." like he's really questioned it himself. He told me he's been treated very poorly over the years, and showed me 1 Tim 5:24 which says along the lines of some sins are open from the beginning, but the others will be made manifest later, and therefore leave it in God's hands.

  The other brother, who's in his 50s, is a friend and been in about the same length of time as me, gave me a sincere hug when he came in, and showed me something from Ps. 119. He offered his support too because, as the other elder, he's known me for a while and knows I'm a good egg, and that they neither of them were going to interrogate me, and both were sorry I had to endure that and can see it's really hurt me.

  I believe I'm a pretty good judge of character, and these two were acting as friends more than elders; though there was that shepherding quality, I was given the respect I deserve as a sister in Christ. I kept my more controversial ideas to myself, while telling them how much I love Jesus and the Father. They had no problem with me comparing other translations of the Bible like the other ones did, and mentioned nothing about the GB.

  If they came by design in collusion with the others, then they were definitely good-cop. If not, they were friends.

  I still didn't go to the meeting today. My husband's there now. That's a whole other matter, but I believe I'm out of Brother Preppy's firing line for a little while.
• 

  Fernando

  It seems what one can take from this is that genuine honest hearted and kind folk will stand out as different no matter how corrupt the framework or context they are operating in. Still it severely hampers their effectiveness and reach.

  Continuing to pray for the Orwells.
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  Julia Orwell

  Thanks bro! Prayers are needed for sure.

  I wonder if the non-born in elder will wake up over his not being able to help people as much as he would like to? They know now what they're dealing with in me hopefully, and that if that young inquisitor/career elder wants to out me, it could do more damage than keeping me in and thereby seemingly harmless. If I am just allowed to fade quietly, I'm certainly no threat. If they out me, I'll not go out quietly, which is a threat.
• 

  transhuman68

  It is difficult when the Witnesses you interact with personally are good people, and the organization at the top is so corrupt. It's much easier to leave if there are many things going wrong at the local Kingdom Hall level. Maybe you should look at your reasons for leaving- are you trying to correct past mistakes? What are you looking for - the truth, or a kind of return to the past? It's always difficult to know where a search will end, but sometimes there is no option but to keep searching.
• 

  Hortensia

  I never want a man in a tie in my house again.

  That about sums it up, doesn't it?

  I'm sorry you are having such a hard time.
• 

  cobaltcupcake

  The one thing you have to keep telling yourself is they have no power and they have no authority!

  That's one of the most difficult concepts to accept, but once you do, it's much easier to leave.

  Julia, I'm so sorry you were traumatized by those men in ties, but I'm glad there were a couple of them that could comfort you.
• 

  Pistoff

  FADE FADE FADE.

  Don't fall into their trap. You don't have to tell them what you really think, they don't care anyway. Just tell them you are discouraged, or depressed, or working too much.

  And while you fade, read everything you can about the historical Jesus, the documentary hypothesis and the gnostic gospels.

  It may help to put into perspective the fear that fundamental christians want you to feel.
• 

  Sayswho

  Pistoff....you hit the nail ON the head. FADE dont fall into their trap.... Good advise... only tell them what they need to know that keeps the spot light off of you.

  S
• 

  LouBelle

  hmmm - I'm going to perhaps come across a little harsh here as I don't know the men you speak of. I have had the same thing: Elders coming to me about their loving concerns....etc Men that I have known since a little girl and thought of them as my second family - however that drastically changed when I stood my ground.

  To me it sounds like: good cop / bad cop.

  I would encourage you to do your fade, don't allow men in ties back into your home.