Omg!!! I can't believe it! I'm in tears here (Part of a Convo with a sister on FB)

by MsGrowingGirl20 28 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Ding
    Ding

    If you do get to talk with her, go slowly.

    Sometimes people who get DFd still believe a lot of the teachings.

    Listen a lot.

  • ABibleStudent
    ABibleStudent

    MsGrowingGirl20 - i would really like to sit down and talk to her

    Hi MsGrowingGirl20, You might do more good by asking her simple questions about how she feels and why and then waiting for her to answer your questions and carefully listening to her responses. The more you let her come to the conclusion that there is something wrong with the WTBTS the better for her and you. Her cult persona can awaken at any time to convince her that her WTBTS's induced phobias are real and that you are an apostate or worse.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

    Robert

  • FingersCrossed
    FingersCrossed

    Well done MsGrowingGirl20! I long to see new members posting here everyday, or hearing the news of more coming out everyday!

  • smiddy
    smiddy

    MSGuG20

    Have you pointed her to this site ? She may be ready for it .

    smiddy

  • MsGrowingGirl20
    MsGrowingGirl20

    No i haven't but i am worried about her turning back like i did in my first year of leaving the org. One minute i was sure that it was BS and the next minute i was sure that they were the true religion and that i would be destroyed and i would shun everyone who told me otherwise.

    I have realised that this takes time so i'm trying not to crowd her or give her my own opinions.

    However, i really do want to direct her here.

  • steve2
    steve2

    You're so right MsGG20, there is typically huge levels of ambivalence among those who doubt the Watchtower - which is why so many remain within its orbit even if they have been inactive and not attending meetings for years.

    Before I left, a close JW friend confided to me she had misgivings about some aspects of "discipline" within the organization. At that time, I had not previously disclosed my own misgivings not just about local elder disciplinary issues but about the Watchtower's history of failed predictions.

    Over a coffee, she readily disclosed her own very sensible misgivings about the way elders held "secret" meetings about brothers and sisters; the big mistake I made was thinking she'd realize that other aspects of the organization were also problematic. I tentatively raised the issue of failed predictions and, I swear, this good friend of mine, chided me big time, telling me I had no right to burden her with my own doubts and to pray to Jehovah for help (she knew the elders would be of no help - given her own opinions on them!). I apologized, stating that it was a lapse of judgement.

    Okay, she settled down, but she remained skeptical of me - and we never again had a chat over coffee.

    I was devastated that I had wrongly concluded that because she was so sensibly and rationally "finding fault" with the Watchtower's policies that local bodies of elders had to follow, she'd also be able to rationally weigh up the Watchtower's shocking record of failed predictions.

  • RayPublisher
    RayPublisher

    Thanks for sharing this story.

    I just had an asleep JW I knew from years back message me on Facebook and I've been hesitant on how to respond. Wish me luck.

  • MsGrowingGirl20
    MsGrowingGirl20

    Do itttt

  • Apognophos
    Apognophos

    steve2, that's an interesting story. I guess some Witnesses view lack of faith as a malady that needs curing -- "How do I get back to believing that this is the truth?" It reminds me of one of my favorite scenes from any movie, the famous "thirsty" scene from "White Men Can't Jump":

    Gloria:When I said I was thirsty, it doesn't mean I want a glass of water.
    Billy:It doesn't?
    Gloria:You're missing the whole point of me saying I'm thirsty. If I have a problem, you're not supposed to solve it. Men always make the mistake of thinking they can solve a woman's problem. It makes them feel omnipotent. [...] I want you to connect with me through sharing and understanding the concept of dry mouthedness

    We naturally assume that when someone brings a problem to us, we're supposed to solve it. What the sister apparently wanted instead was sympathy, along the lines of, "It's okay, lots of people have doubts, but you can pray those away. Just Do The Truth™." Your experience is a good lesson about how we can't assume that we know why someone is sharing their doubts with us.

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