by Suraj Khan 18 Replies latest jw experiences
Only someone who is baptized can officially Disassociate themselves by notification or by their actions.
A person who was never baptized, is simply a "man of the world". NO formal shunning policy is applied to such ones. Individual publishers may determine that they are "bad association".
Doc
It was related to me that a DA announcement was made in the year after I started college. I agree that the cause probably stemmed from the sole fact that I dared to attend college. It was also fairly well known that I'd been willfully dodging meetings for almost all my teenage years, which meets the "deliberately avoiding Jehovah's worship" test above.
Whether or not it was fair to do so by the elder, who was an officious prick, is probably irrelevant. I've not known many Witness elders to follow protocol to the letter if they feel their flock is endangered by a person with dangerous thoughts.
I agree that I should probably let the matter rest going forward and try to maintain the fragile relationships being built. I realize that calling the org out on their egregious literature is probably the wrong way of going about that, though. I guess I couldn't help myself.
It sounds like they're afraid. You had the presence of mind not to fall for their crap, so they're afraid you might come around and convince your family of what a pack of lies they believe.
You don't hae to obey them, of course, because you never chose to be a part of their corporation. No need to stress yourself. You're free.
Edit included in my last post
Sounds like they overstepped themselves... more than usual, that is. As others have stated, if you were not baptized, you could not be da'd or df'd, and there are no grounds for them to have annonced, and so enouraged others to shun you.
I am glad your brother contacted you.
I also don't blame you for not being able to 'help yourself'. They did you wrong, their practice does destroy families and hurt the innocent. If your siblings build a relationship with you, that might come out naturally at some point... leading them to that conclusion on their own. So how you handle it depends entirely upon you and how you want to handle it.
Peace,
tammy
It was related to me that a DA announcement was made in the year after I started college.
As stated before by several posters, someone who is not baptized cannot (should not) ever be announced as being "disassociated". (The announcement would be "is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses".)
The cong could give a "Marking Talk" (not supposed to mention a person's name) discussing the "wrongdoing" but to do that for "going to college" is really a stretch.
IF you were an unbaptized publisher, then they could announce that "Kahn is no longer an unbaptized publisher." However that is NOTHING close to being disassociated. This can result from simply failing to turn in one's field service report for 6 months. It does NOT constitute office shunning.
Doc
Hey SK,
Officially, the branch cannot DA or DF someone who was never baptized. If they actually did do this, than they were terribly wrong to do so even by their own methods. In addition, even among JW's, going to college while frustrated, is NOT grounds for being DF'd.
The elders comment makes no sense in this regard. May I ask what country you are in?
I understand the distinction. As far as being told I was DA'd, to this day I am not sure whether this was an error on the elders' part or on the part of the family member who conveyed the information to me. There had been (and apparently, according to an email I just received from my little sister, still are) whisperings of my doings in college: I suppose they imagined all sorts of things I might be doing there. In reality, I never smoked or drank, and I was not promiscuous. I did get married (unfortunately) right out of college to a worldly girl, but the DA conversation happened three years before I graduated, perhaps even before that relationship even began. I recall no effort being made to see how I was doing or even to invite me to a meeting - not that I would have attended anyway. No attempt was made by an elder to make a shepherding call or confirm what was being whispered, but I understand that the elders in my absence would have enjoyed broad latitude to cut me off without such enquiries.
In the same conversation in which I was told I was DA'd, I was told the elders had investigated my meeting attendance to the Kingdom Hall that served my college town. They would have reported, correctly, that I never set foot there.
The whole affair still confuses me. Thankfully, it left me with a loathing for the organization and its kangaroo court practices which has never abated even after decades. This has served me well in the ensuing years.
Edit: I live in the United States.
Sometimes jws who may have known a person for a long time just assume they are baptized and if they're not attending hall they must be df'd. Happened to me. Spoke to a jw I hadn't seen in a while and they said maybe they shouldn't be talking to me because I'm df'd. Well that's not true cuz I was never baptized. I asked this person who they had heard that from and they wouldn't say. I have an idea because I know the usual suspects.
