Sorry you're having to deal with this, LouBelle.
I agree with others. An extra lock... and maybe a stick within quick reach.
Dang! No one should have to live in fear like that.
I called the police.
by LouBelle 42 Replies latest jw friends
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Joe Grundy
LouBelle
You have a PM.
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Scott77
At university, we have been tought in social work classes about seniors. Well, one of their preoccupation is that of seeing their grand children prosper and keep the family line going. They try to give back what they missed and do their best to protect their future generation at all cost.Looks like your grandfather has his interests elsewhere. That is a complete opposite of what is expected of him. I suspect he may have other issues going around his life. Probably he may need psychological counseling to deal with incosistencies in his life. Thank god, you are safe nothing serious happened to you. I hope a court order might include a forced psychological or anger management treatment plan.
Scott77
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Lozhasleft
So sorry that this has happened to you Loubelle. I hope you find somewhere safe soon, meanwhile take care
Loz x
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LouBelle
Hi guys - made it through the night! That's a good thing. You know if I'm going to exist this world I want to kinda do it on my own conditions and not at the hand of someone else.
My grandfather was never a witness, not into any religion. He has always been a very horrible man, beating his wife and two children, many a time they would run off and hide in the bushes or run to neighbours - he would assult the neighbours - but nobody held him accountable and he continued to get away with his horrific treatment of people. When people first meet him, he charms the socks off them. You then start to see that he just wants to either get something from you, do something for him, manipulate you, use you.
I am fortunate in that somehow I was blessed with an old wise soul (I can be silly and have fun) I had to grow up and take responsibility and learn to stand up for myself from a very young age (5/6) I am very independent by nature (some say to a fault, but I'm learning) When I got old enough I would not take his crap and would tell him that we he came at me. On the occassions he does lash out at me I have always stood my ground but as per family wishes let things go/etc. However the last straw was last year when my gran had to go into hospital - she asked me to pay the light bill and to keep her purse as she new my grandfather would take her money for the horses (I had just moved in) He grew so violent, pushing/shoving me, calling me every filthy dirty word under the sun. I stood up to him and told him I wasn't afraid of him and his loud voice and filthly language, and if he so much laid a hand on me I would call Townhill and get him re-admitted. I slept with a panga (huge chopping knife) under my bed for days after that.
A week later in front of the whole family (he likes to create a scene where he looks like he is doing the right thing) he came to shake my hand and say let's put it behind us. I told him I wasn't interested in shaking his hand but that he needed to change his attitude - since then we haven't spoken until yesterdays' incident.
He deliberately sets up things to create a reaction....e.g I have been asked to always close the bathroom door so that the cat doesn't poo in the bathroom - So I do. He will always open it, so that when the cat does poo, he can fly off the handle. He will lock me out of the house - though I have a key, he'll deliberately leave another key in the door so I can't open it. If I open the kitchen windows or doors because it's stuff, he'll slam them shut, if I rake the garden and put the leaves in bags, he rips them open again.....I could go on and on.
If I could afford to move out, but my finances have taken a huge drop and I clear enough to pay my board, my car insurance, life insurance, food, petrol and the few bills I have. I have learnt to control my anger and my emotions and just plod on. I do very much want to get out and I'm sure I will one day.
Thank you so much for your well wishes and suggestions. I'm putting on a dead bolt tonight.
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LoisLane looking for Superman
Hi LouBelle, Thank you for posting tonight. We are all thrilled you are a smart person and putting a deadbolt on your door. Are your parents not concerned about your safety? Are they too scared of your grandfather to do anything, as in, to notice his behavior and do something about it?
Just Lois
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jemba
Glad to hear youre ok Loubelle. Sorry you are in such a bad situation. At least you must be a comfort to your Gran while you are living there. What right does your Grandfather have to the house? If you say its not his place? Is his name on the lease? Maybe you could end up kicking him out. That would be a better solution for everyone.
Thinking of you.
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LouBelle
jemba - everyone wishes he would just go, but he's like a shit on the bottom of your shoe.
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Pickler
Loubelle, from how you've described your grandfather he sounds like a narcissist. Narcissistic personality disorder... Can be initially very charming, seeking attention, always focused on themselves :- then when anything doesn't go their way, people don't bend to their will...watch out!
I don't know what city you are in in SA, hope you can move away from him ASAP.
ive read in other media of people getting ESL (English as second language) teaching qualifications fairly simply & going & teaching English in China. Apparently it was pretty well paid, anything like this an option for you?
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hamsterbait
I think pickler has it - is there any possibility of emigrating and a new start away from all the crap?
I gather it is possible to accrue a qualification in TEFL by doing night classes?
Who knows you might end up so happy and fulfilled yo never want to go back to SA. Start learning Chinese NOW!
HB