Going to the meeting tonight ARGH!!!! So wanna end this pain NOW! (page 2)

punkofnice

The Cong overseer gave me a death stare as he saw me during the song so I'm probably gonna be in some sorta trouble soon

What a vile individual he is. Judgemental bully!

Hmmmmmm. I wonder if they'll start putting pressure on your poor hubby???

Just smile and nod. Don't commit to anything (like before). Deny anything negative. If they wonder why you're on your phone just tell them a rellie is sick, they txt you and you are making sure they're ok or some crap about a potential emergency.

Don't give them anything. Smile and nod. Take it on the chin. (That's what we Brits do best LOL).

mac n cheese

I really feel for you. I was in the same position for years! I would practice meditation techinques that would help me calm down and drown out the "noise" so I wouldn't get so irritated by the idiotic comments. After awhile, I could zone out quite a bit and actually looked forward to when I was forced to do nothing and I could relax. I also spent a lot of time writing - my thoughts, grocery lists, plans for the weekend, all kinds of things.

I finally ended putting a single headphone in one ear, hidden underneath my clothing, coming up through the head hole of my shirt, and being hidden by hair. I listened to lots of podcasts, but just be careful that they're not funny ones if you're likely to laugh out loud.

There are a lot of good suggestions here on the board, they kept me sane! Now we don't go anymore (yay!) but hubby says he's still a JW and insists on going to the Memorial and NOT doing any holidays or birthdays. There are days when I want to hit him over the head with JW literature but he doesn't even bother reading it anymore. He makes glacial moves, it's incredibly annoying.

Breathe, and hang in there. We're with you!

Mac n Cheese

Pistoff

Going to meetings once you are are awake to the truth about the truth is not only hard, Julia, it can be very bad for your mental health.

I know you want to support your husband, but you must take care of your own mental health. If you stop going, he won't die.

I have been faded for real for 10 years; if I have to go back for a funeral, memorial, etc, it still leaves me upside down mentally for a day or two.

If you have good friends there, it might make it worse to go to meetings. It does for me.

What I realized is that the religion is a fake, but the friendships and family ties are real.

But the witnesses insert themselves between you and your friends/family.

Consider just not going to any meetings at all except for memorial; if anyone asks you why, say you are discouraged.

If your husband presses you, say you feel less crazy if you don't do.

lostinnj83

Julia: I can relate. I am in the same situation as you. I must say that going to meetings are becoming more and more unbearable. I feel sick to my stomach when I go. It's very difficult for me to block out what's being said. I wonder if my facial expressions are becoming more apparent!

Gojira_101

Here's an idea Julia,

You can be our spy! I no longer go to meetings and my family still "in" no longer talk to me, so am not connected to the constant trash anymore....You can be our informant and come on here and keep us up to date. At least that will give you something to do while you are sitting there in the boring meetings.

Just a side comment, if you are DF'ed for apostasy, I'm not sure if this would be the case for you husband, but my mom and her family experienced this when she was younger. Her dad was DF'ed back in the 70's I think it was, it was when the WT changed the stand on smoking, so my grandpa (mom's dad) was Df'ed because he couldn't quiet smoking in the time-line the brothers gave him. When he was DF'ed, the whole family was DF'ed because of him...the family wasn't officially DF'ed, but just because he was, the whole family was shunned. My mom still to this day talks about how terrible it was because she was shunned like a DF'ed person and it was just her dad...So my point is, if you are DF'ed, there is a very good chance your husband won't have the support from the cong and the JW's could very well shun him.

The JW's are going to react in their typical way, no matter what you do. It's like with my cousin, we can never have our friendship back while she is still a JW Borg, it's hard to accept, but I'll be waiting here for her with open arms, if/when she wakes up.

Just try to hang in there, and do your best, that is all any of us can do.

XoXo

G

Giordano

Pistoff has the truth of the matter. If the meetings make your skin crawl get out!! Tell your hubby they make you ill and stay home!

gingerbread

Hang in there Julia! Remember that the WT and it's local congregation managers love to get in the middle of marriages. Don't give them the power. Bide your time. Be patient. Don't do anything rash. Perhaps you could begin to plan an outing for this Sunday or a weekend trip. Then you and your husband can spend time together instead of with the "friends" at the hall. It's a very positive way solidify your marriage and gives the opportunity to just be a couple & to talk honestly.

Going to the meeting tonight ARGH!!!! So wanna end this pain NOW!