My decision about "family shunning"

Gojira_101

Since I've been off work this week because of Spring Break, I've really been missing my grandma. When I have left WT (I'm Fading and April will be 6 months) and I told her about January, she has been shunning me. I told myself "I will respect her wishes/decision..etc" This morning I woke up and said "to hell with shunning!" It's not her fault, it's Watchtower's fault and I won't let them control anything in my life anymore!

She is my grandma, and I don't have to respect her decision to shun me. Why do I have to be the one in pain and missing her? I can't call her because of my evil aunt controlling everything, but my grandma gets her mail separate, so I have decided every month I will send her a nice thinking of you card, and just say how much I love her, and miss her....kill her with love and kindness! I will also include a picture to, and show her how happy I still am and not some evil apostate!

Part of me was afraid, her or my aunt (mostly my aunt, she really is evil and I think she might be demonized) would get a restraining order on me, but even if my aunt/grandma tries to get an RO, I don't think the judge would grant one because I wouldn't have been threatening, insulting, her or the cult...etc. So I'm not sure about that, so if someone on here has legal experience maybe you could clarify that part of it for me???? I really don't think they would have any ground to stand on.

I'm done with WTBT$ dictating all of our lives and even though they still are dictating my grandma, I'm going to be the one to show love!

Thanks for reading my rant

G

Chaserious

Sorry to hear about your loss of your grandmother. There is no basis for the evil spinster aunt (I don't know, but that is how I am imagining her) to instigate a restraining order because you write your grandmother a letter every month. Whether she will intercept and trash the letters is another story, though. Best of luck with Grandmom!

00DAD

Gojira_101: I have decided every month I will send her a nice thinking of you card, and just say how much I love her, and miss her

Beautiful plan! Do it. You're being real, you're showing what unconditional love is all about.

I wouldn't worry about a Restraining Order. Seriously. Think it through. What's your aunt going to say, "My niece keeps sending her grandmother cards and letters saying, 'I love you and miss you!' please, your Honor, make her stop!"

After the judge gets done laughing his/her ass off it'll be, "Bailiff, please escort this looney-tune out of my courtroom!"

Have you read Steven Hassan's book, Releasing the Bonds? I'd highly recommend it. It'll help you come to terms with and recover from your cult indoctrination.

Gojira_101: This morning I woke up and said "to hell with shunning!"

Good for you! It's empowering to have such thoughts, isn't it!

00DAD

blondie

Sending a nice card is a good idea. We've had problems with non-jw relatives about 2 years ago and we send a nice card at Christmas, Easter, birthdays, anniversaries, and just to say hi (they value holidays a great deal). Finally my MIL called...remember non-jw and the door cracked open a little.

Kill them with kindness and affection...even if they don't value you for it, it will keep your loving spirit open.

After 20 years of abuse by my jw family while I was a "good" jw, I finally told them specifically the cruel things they said and did could not be endured by me any more. In my case it was no loss.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Hassan

http://www.amazon.com/Combatting-Cult-Mind-Control-Best-selling/dp/0892813113/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1363448335&sr=8-1&keywords=cult+control

Gojira_101

@Chaserious: I'm not scared of most things especially people, but my aunt scares the crap out of me. She is a legal computer hacker, so if I piss her off bad she can totally screw up my life, in that she can hack me. She hacked into my grandma's email account and facebook account and is monitoring both and she is the one to deleted me from my grandma's facebook. I know in a court of law the judge would just laugh her out of court.

@00Dad: I was thinking the same thing about the judge laughing their ass off then having my aunt escorted out of the court room. Steve Hassan's book is on my to read list. I'm still on the first CoC book. I'm a very good reader but man, it's taking me a long time with CoC. That man is smart and intelligent. No wonder he left WT.

@Blondie: Thank you for the link, and it's on my "to read" list, it's in line after CoC. I'm sorry you have experience those things as a JW, but the sad fact is most of us have been scarred by WT or family in one way or another. I am happy though you are starting to make headway with your non-jw family. I'm starting to reach out more to them now myself. It's slow progress, but it will work out one day :)

Thank you for the kind comments!

Peace

G

alias

I'm done with WTBT$ dictating all of our lives and even though they still are dictating my grandma, I'm going to be the one to show love!

You go, girl!

Chaserious

Gojira - hacking into someone else's e-mail account is a felony, and I would absolutely report her and be insistent that it's investigated if she does it to you. I'm sure your grandmother wouldn't press charges, but you can. Many e-mail programs can tell you when the last time you signed in was (like for gmail, it's in the bottom right), so you can montior that if you think she might hack you. Also some programs let you ask for an alert if you are signed in from a computer other than the one you generally use (Facebook also has this option).

People have actually been convicted of felonies for this. If it happens, contact local police as well as the FBI, since it's a federal crime. Here is one example of an indictment of someone for accessing a co-worker's email account.

http://www.justice.gov/usao/pae/News/2008/jul/mendtepress.pdf

Don't be afraid of auntie screwing up your life. Screw up hers if she breaks the law!

lrkr

I have decided to ignore my family's shunning and call them regularly to say hello. They of course do not answer- but I want to be clear that the decision not to communicate is theirs- not mine!

gone for good

I too made the same decision regarding my Jw kids. I am NOT a cult member, but free .

After a couple very embarassing (for them) personal visits, I explained that I will treat them like any true friends and drop around anytime I'm passing by. I call, answer my daughters phone when It's their house calling, and just generally ignore (despise) the cults hateful rules.

If the WTS thinks I won't see my kids and grandkids anytime I want - they better think again.

I think they actually enjoy it because they are not the ones doing anything wrong.

Theres actually avery funny story in connection with all this but I san't tell it here...

Finally-Free

She is a legal computer hacker,

Sorry. No such thing. Security auditing and penetration testing is among the things I do for a living. Having a written, detailed contract from each client is a must in order to stay out of jail or avoid getting sued.

W

My decision about "family shunning"

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